the rest of my saturday ...

Let's see ...

... into the office for a bit to get the weekend stuff done, then wrapped up the work I needed to do to fully enjoy my days off.

... then home to see if anyone was online and to check my mail and laze around for a little bit.

... then driving to a couple of stores to get some shopping done ... grocery. Got a couple of nice, thick New York steaks, some salad, some fruit, bacon, iced tea, SPAM and a few other necessities.

... home to nothing.

... played a little bit of online poker. Back up to about a million fake chips after busting down to almost nothing.

... then a little SportsCenter.

How riveted are you right now? That's what I thought.

... then some movies -- "Inside Man," which I liked a lot, and "Take the Lead," which I also thought was good too.

... next up -- can you handle the excitement? -- cleaning my golf clubs for my round Sunday, which fortunately isn't super early in the morning. 10:30 a.m. I can deal with ... usually.

And now, for the ladies ... some hot cock from Guam!!












well, the afternoon temperatures were pretty toasty!

Heh.

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very early saturday morning ...

Poker was fun ... it was great playing the old games with the old gang again ... started off bad but recovered to only lost about $30.

Unfortunately, had to leave early to make sure I was at the office in time for the conference call. Didn't get out of there until well after 2 a.m., then it was home to finish the edits. Once done, went to bed but it took me a bit to fall asleep ... alarm was set for 7 a.m. and dozed off around 4 a.m.

Woke up to the incessant buzzing of the alarm ... a little before 8 a.m. No way I could make it to the course on time. Tried calling the fellas but no luck.

Went back to sleep, set the alarm for 11 a.m. Woke up at 11, changed the alarm setting to noon, when I finally dragged my sorry ass outta bed.

Talked an amusing drunk chick for a little bit ... LOL ... and now, here I am. Still have to go into the office eventually, but only for a short time, since I got a ton of work done Friday.

Oh, and there are some new photos
over at the other blog:

Check them out if you have the inclination.

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not a post for the chicks ...

And since the ladies are 97 percent of the traffic here, so I'm expecting a drop off in multiple page views and comments, but this is what I have today.

So, for the chickadees, be forewarned: poker, golf and auto mechanical information to follow.

Poker? I didn't even kiss her!
• My old poker buddies are all getting together tonight after a golf tournament banquet to play our old style of play at a fancy hotel down in Tumon. Since the surge in Texas Hold 'Em -- thanks, ESPN! -- those are pretty much the only kind of poker games on island these days on any sort of a regular basis. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Texas Hold 'Em, but I grew up playing a wide variety of poker games, with Hold 'Em only coming recently. The crew I'm meeting with tonight used to have a regular Thursday game, where it was dealer's choice on the game -- seven-card stud, five-card draw, padugi/season, fuck-you 21, boomtown and a bunch of other quaint games, many of them local staples at the back of fiestas for decades.
I'm sorry; I can't help loving you like I do.
We stopped playing regularly last year -- people always off island, some gave up the game entirely, etc. So tonight I get to go back to my poker roots and have some fun.
I wish you were mine ... even if it were only sometimes.
Golf ... not the Volkswagen kind
• It turns out I will get to play with my Japanese friend after all, along with a coworker and a former coworker; the four of us used to play together fairly often. We're going out to the nice course I mentioned several posts back -- LeoPalace -- and it's going to be at the godforsaken hour of 8:15 a.m., which means leaving the house by 7:15 a.m. to get there early enough for the starter's rules, which means waking up a little before 7 a.m.

The price I play for this game. LOL

I will take my camera along, as this course has some wonderful holes in the center of Guam's jungles, so there should be lots of cool photos to come.

You wanna talk about early?
• I have to be at a corporate conference call early in the a.m. ... at 1 a.m., our time, to be precise. Evidently, the best time for everyone else on the call is Friday at 11 a.m. EST ... tough for the West Coast folk, who will have to be there at 8 a.m. ... rougher for us here in Guam, who have to be there at 1 a.m. Saturday morning.

Which means I'll be lucky to be home by 2 or 2:30 a.m. ... on the day I have to wake up before 7 a.m. to go golf. Oh, how the gods love me. LOL

Getting my hands dirty
• So one of my employees was late today -- his battery in his truck died and he had to catch a ride in. This guy lives in the sticks and was working the 4 p.m. to 1 a.m. shift. His plan was to catch a cab to Kmart after work, then have the cab drive him to his home, then worry about the battery in the a.m.

Me being the nice guy that I am -- it helps that I've known this guy for years -- I offer to take him somewhere to get his battery during his dinner break, and then to drive him to his place so he could change out the battery. We do the first part and start to do the second and it turns out this guy lives beyond the sticks -- what the people in the sticks call the sticks.

What's funny is that it's not really all that far, as the crow flies. But we turn off the nearest main road onto a road that's not paved. And it's decent for the first half mile or so, then progressively gets more bumpy and hand-hewn looking, with gulleys and ruts and bumps galore. It's a mile and a half from the main road to the employee's house. He bought some land cheap and built himself something small while he works to build something bigger.

He was just going to have me let him drop the battery and then take him back to work. Then he was gonna walk all that -- probably 3.5 to 4.5 miles -- in the dark. LOL ... so I break out my little tool case, that has pretty much everything you need to fix almost everything. His battery cables are rusted, but I manage to get things loose enough so we can eventually get them free and the new battery attached. Whew!

This is the end, the only end my friend
OK ... off to poker, then from there to conference call, then from there to home and sleep, then wake up super early to go play 18 holes, then home to shower and change, then into the office for a few hours ... then LOTS of sleep.

Have good weekends, any of you who actually made it all the way down this far and didn't just skim. ;)

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ugh ...

I just got done doing a boatload of laundry and, because of my natural phlegmatic tendenices, still have a boatload I will need to do over the course of my three vacation days next week.

Other planned activities during break time:

• Getting truck vacuumed, washed, cleaned out, re-registered ... and possibly professionally detailed.

• Finally get the yard sale shit put together, including the classified ad.

• Choose a new avatar for the blogs.

• Get some more posts up on my poetry/writing blog.

• Get some more photos up on my photoblog.

• Clean up the bedroom.

• Solve world hunger.

• Clean up the living room.

• Take the old computer monitors down to the recycling place.

• Publish my proof that Pythagorus was wrong.

• Totally clean out the fridge.

• Play at least one round of golf.

• Finally reveal my nefarious plans for global domination to the world's governments.

• Sort and store my photographs.

• Watch some DVDs.

• Clean up my desk at home so it matches the order of my desk at work.

• Talk dirty on the phone to SOME woman.

Any bets on how much of this junk I actually get done?


The first Chamorro to be appointed as governor was Manuel Guerrero ... and it only took about 63 years of American rule for it to happen.

Oh ... and if you haven't been here in a little while ... new post about Guam's first Major League Baseball player ... and my HNT ...

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woohoo!!

This is John Hattig Jr. He's the first guy from Guam to make play Major League Baseball ... that's right, he's in The Show, playing for the Toronto Blue Jays. He's a switch-hitting third baseman who just got called up a few weeks ago.

Here's the story from the news wires today:

SEATTLE (AP) -- Gregg Zaun hit a grand slam during a nine-run fourth inning and also had a solo home run, leading A.J. Burnett and the Toronto Blue Jays over the Seattle Mariners 10-0 Wednesday.

John Hattig, who last month became the first player from Guam in the major leagues, hit a three-run double for his first career RBIs.

He's now hitting 6 for 13, for an average of .462 ... for those of you who don't know baseball, this is GOOD!!

Yeehaw!!

This means there's a good chance he'll be on SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight this evening/early morning and that Guam will be mentioned ... cross your fingers! LOL

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a game of "i never," some stuff, some hnt ...

Yet another collection of miscellania -- in list format, naturally -- about the DZER.

Things I’m pretty sure will never happen:
• I don’t think I will ever get married. There will never be a Mr. & Mrs. DZER. Heck, I’ll be lucky if I ever get another girlfriend again … not like there’s been all that many in my 37 years … or any in the last decade or so.

Think I can get away with throwing a “Bachelor Forever Shower,” to which I can invite selected friends who will give me presents to commemorate my terminal bachelorhood?
The woman I love and with whom I'm in love with will never love me the same way.
• I don’t think I’ll ever have kids of my own. The DZER seed will die with me. It will be up to my bruddahs -- the Missouri Savage and Air Force Staff Sgt. James to bring more George Boys into the world. Good luck fellas … get to propogating!

• I don’t think I will ever be rich or famous. If I hit a lottery draw somewhere, sometime, I have a shot of being rich (the same shot as anyone LOL), but I don’t think I’ll ever be truly famous. I think that I have the talent to possibly make it happen, but unless some fluke thing happens, I don’t think I have the drive or initiative to fully utilize my talent to its utmost and advance myself.

I do have a shot an infamy though ;)

• I don’t think I will ever be fully and completely happy. I recognize that I will have moments and times of happiness. Things, events and people will make me happy. But I don’t think anyone is always happy; it’s a impossible; which is why the perpetually cheery piss me off -- I know they’re lying.

• I don’t smoke, don’t drink, what do I do?

• I know I will never pose for Playgirl … or for any other major publication. LOL

• I will never have the body shape or looks that I wish I had. And, somehow, I’m relatively cool with that. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. ;)

• I will never be on a reality show. You're welcome!!

• I will never fulfill my dream of sitting at the final table of the World Series of Poker main event. It's a statistical improbability, given the number of people who enter every year now. But I'll hold on to the dream that, someday, I'll at least get to PLAY in the WSOP main event. Anyone got $10,000 that I can borrow? LOL

And now some other stuff:
(of course it's in list format!! I'm a habitual lister!!)
• Got a call a little earlier from my brother in the Air Force. On Monday he heads out for his third deployment to the Middle East. He'll be there till January, then it's back to England for a few more months. In April it will have been 10 years he's been in the military, and he's just re-upped.

Stay safe, brother mine ...

• My Monday golf is off. The former coworker from Japan decided to come out a little earlier, so he will be here from Thursday and leaves Sunday. Oh well ... still have golf with the godson and his dad on Sunday, and I'm sure I will be able to fit another round or two in during my days off ... unless I get super lazy.

• I rented a shitload of DVDs tonight -- "The Sentinel," "Take the Lead," "Inside Man," "Friends with Money," "Patriot Act," and the 2005 version of "The Producers." I had to rent the latter after watching the original on AMC the other night. Mel Brooks is a comic genius!! Like you didn't know that.

• I want to build a DZER-sized playground. Mostly because I really like swinging on the swings. I always have. It was my favorite playground station. Remember when you finally learned to swing yourself and didn't need any pushes? How cool was that?

But I think I liked jumping off the swings more than swinging on them. Sometimes for height, sometimes for distance. There was just something about flying through the air, that point at which you're just kind of hanging there, right before you begin falling.

I'm too big to jump now; couldn't trust my knees, ankles or leg bones to hold up under that kind of strain. LOL

• I think I'm going to drink some pepper-infused vodka now ... but I leave ya'll with this:

The early HNT from Guam!!!

just in that kind of mood ...

To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:


Oh ... and a few more photos up at DZER's Guam Pics ... for the few who care ;)

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looking forward to ... monday?

How often is it that you can't wait for a Monday to roll around?

Well, that's the case for me this week.

Yes, Friday is the payday with the extra pay for working the Labor Day holiday.

Yes, the weekend promises some rest and relaxation, and not having to work both days.

But Monday is the start of a mini-vacation for me — three blissful days with nothing that I have to do but relax and laze about.

Even better, a former coworker from Japan is coming here to visit for three days, including that Monday. Even better, he is a former golf buddy. Even better, we're going to play a LOT of golf over three days!

One of my current coworkers, El Cid, is taking some of his maxed out vacation time off as well, so there will be at least three of us playing at a variety of Guam courses. I hope my ex-coworker kept his Guam driver's license, or else it's going to get quite expensive for him. LOL

This is one we plan to play -- LeoPalace Resort.

I think I'm going to get my old set of irons re-gripped. My new irons are OK, but the old ones were made for a tall person -- the shafts are a bit longer -- and I think they will help my game with some new jumbo grips to replace the originals, which are kind of falling apart.

If I can get them in by Thursday, they should be done by the weekend, so I can try them out with S and the godson before I take them out with El Cid and Ryo-san, when there surely will be some betting involved.

C'mon, Monday ... get here already!

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Weekend highlights ...

• Ended up working both Saturday and Sunday to cover shifts ... I need to hire freelancers soon ... good news is I have a reliable one willing to come back, a college student with promise, and three other applicants. Hope to get that squared away this week.

• Did manage to get in a round of golf on a gorgeous day. Hard to beat that.

• My Huskers won ... always good. They do have USC this week though ... gonna be a tough game. I have faith though! LOL

• The Bears won in a blowout, thanks in large part to their trademark stifling defense and excellent special teams.

• Lost my first fantasy football league game ... thanks, Shaun Alexander, for only registering 1.5 points for me. What sucks is the guy I played is the only one that could have beat me, even with Alexander's poor performance and one of my receivers sitting out Week 1. What sucks even more is I was scheduled to play someone else, but because one of the guys dropped out of the league at the last minute, we had to scramble to find someone else and create a new league place, which shook up the schedule. I smell conspiracy!

• The boss comes back in the morning after a week on the mainland for conferences. Sure to be some changes coming; can't wait to find out what ... though the big stuff will come after some October meetings. Urg.

• I really like Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN2. If I move stateside, odds are I'll miss it entirely ... it's on in my evening now. Don't think I'll be up at 5 a.m. to catch it over there. LOL

• Nice paycheck come Friday -- working a full day on Labor Day will mean extra cash. Plus I have a reimbursement check coming. I'll pay off a couple bills early, put some into THE FUND, and perhaps treat myself to something nice.

• Time to start getting ready for Christmas, like My Favorite Person. As Jingle George, I probably should have written something up already for the newspaper. Will have to put that on my "to do" list ... which is long for work. Urg. Also time to start planning and purchasing gifts for those on my list. It really is easier to buy a couple things here and there a few months out. By the time December rolls around, I'll only have to do some finishing shopping. Heh. Feel the pressure .... especially you, terry! LOL

I will also need to go through my extensive wrapping supplies to see what I need. I know there are a few colors of ribbon and bows that I'm short on, as well as the little trinkets I like to use as wrapping extras -- little ornaments, stickers, etc.

OK ... back to getting a few little chores out of the way ... and if I feel industrious, maybe a few of the bigger ones ...

... yeah ... right ... LOL

Oh yeah ... if you haven't been around here since Friday, scroll down after this post ... there's a bunch of stuff you missed!!

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home for lunch ...

Sometimes, nothing beats a PB&J on white bread.

Not to mention how cheap it is.

And I got to watch some football.

Now ... back to work ... bleah.

Thus sayeth the DZER ...

Thus sayeth the DZER: Blogger beta sucks mega, green, crusty, inflamed donkey balls. I can still read the blogs of those who have moved to beta, but I can't comment. And they can't comment on mine. In how many ways does it blow? The number of ways in which is blows is legion.

Thus sayeth the DZER: Those who don't do their jobs right always end up fucking those who not only do their jobs competently, but with efficiency. Their inability to get their work done on time has a domino effect on everyone else involved down the line. Get your shit finished when it's supposed to be finished, because more people are affected by just you. If you want to kick back and take your time ... do it on your day off!

*All chicks and other nonappreciators of golf, skip this next one*

Thus sayeth the DZER: A bad day on the golf course is better than most good days doing anything else. My game was on again, off again today ... usually off again. I did have some bright spots and good play, but not with any degree of consistency. But it's golf on a beautiful day with two of my favorite people (who live here, anyway). Plus, I got a free lunch. How do you beat that?

Thus sayeth the DZER: If you're not willing to drive at LEAST the speed limit, then don't roll through the stop sign to pull in front of me, a person who drives at least the speed limit, if not faster. Bring your piece of shit car to a full stop, let me go buy, then pull your brake-riding, trundling ass into the the road. For fuck's sake!!

Thus sayeth the DZER: The way the music industry used to be run was the right way. It gave us the greatest singers, musicians and bands of all time. Fuck these weak-ass reality shows that let any idiot with the ability to dial a phone or text message choose who "the best" is.

Thus sayeth the DZER: To those of you who are enamored of the above time show and get so into and involved with them ... trying bringing just an iota of that kind of care and attention to your local, state and national elections ... or to real problems in your community. If you can watch three hours of second-rate celebrities pontificating about the abilities, or lack thereof, of some trite wannabe music star, surely you can take the time to vote on Election day, or volunteer for an hour at a library or soup kitchen or some shit like that.

Thus sayeth the DZER: Why can't any of the world' carmakers produce at least a few affordable vehicle models that accommodate people who are fat, tall, or both? Would it kill your profit line to add an option that allows the seat to be moved back a few inches, or that pops the steering wheel up so we can get in without busting a kneecap? Why should we have to spend tens of thousands of dollars more to get a little more legroom or headroom? Haven't you read the news? Obesity is an epidemic ... build a car all of us fat people can fit into without having to make gymnastic gyrations to slide under the wheel and into the seat.

Thus sayeth the DZER: The old, cheesy, poorly dubbed Japanese version of "Iron Chef" is 100 times better than "American Iron Chef." And does anyone else want to get one free punch at Bobby Flay's smug, pompous, smirking, stupid fucking face? No? Just me? OK then.

Thus sayeth the DZER: Why is it that every food product that is bad for you tastes so good and, conversely, that every food product that is good for you tastes so fucking nasty? Why can't three-layer chocolate cake with double-fudge icing stave off cancer? Why can't thick, juicy steaks and twice-baked potatoes help control your cholesterol? Why can't cigarettes improve your eyesight?

And for the folks who didn't get enough of the nausea-inducing animated DZER mug in the post below, I give you this:

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do you feel like I feel ...

three moods of DZER ...

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for the saturday stalkers ...

Ah, my poor neglected DZERettes and other DZER fans -- well, one of you, anyway -- whatever do you do when there is nothing new for you on the Diatribe?

How do you make it through the day without a fresh dose of DZERness? DZERosity? DZERism? Do you sit there hitting refresh, hoping new stuff will suddenly pop up? Do you go back and look at older posts?

If you don't, you might want to ... didja know I sometimes post secret, hidden messages? LOL

like this one!!!

The DZER humbly apologizes (*snort*) for teasing you with promises of a post that did not come.

Saturday was spent at the office. In early to plan out our Sept. 11 five-year anniversary coverage, which will span four days, from Sunday through Wednesday. Then, a little while putting my section together. Then, a few hours on the copy desk since we are currently without freelance weekend people. Then some grocery shopping -- lots of veggies and fruit, but also a pack of extra-thick bacon for my favorite bacon-tomato-mayo (shaddap Madame X!) sammiches -- then home for a couple hours. The, back to the office to finish up the day.

That's why you got no Saturday post.

Sunday, which just began for me, will be spent, yet again, on the golf course in the late morning, early afternoon hours, with my godson and my pare'. Then it will be home for a shower, a little rest, then into the office to cover another shift and do a bunch of administrative, managerial stuff ... I hope. Must ... overcome ... laziness ... procrastination ... phlegmatic personality ...

Last full day off: Aug. 27.

Fucking Bleah™!!

PHOTO TIME!
This is my truck's odomoter. It's a 1994 Nissan Hardbody Kingcab SE-V6, and next year it will be a full 13 years old (in April). The odometer count -- 109,588 (and higher now) -- may not seem like a lot of miles for many of you in the mainland, but remember that my island is only about 30 miles from north coast to south coast, and only 9 miles wide at its widest point.

I need a new vehicle soon, I think ... but it, like many other things, will wait ... or, at least, so I hope ... LOL

Thought I'd share this with you ... the pimped out chain-link license plate frame on the public school bus. This is one proud bus driver. I'm sure there are fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, a hula dancer on the dash, and he probably would have the naked silver silhouette ladies on the mudflaps if he was allowed to ... though they could just be in the mail or on back order!

couple of new photos up
over at DZER's Guam Pics.

LUBBIN' DA FOOSBALL!
I'm loving the fact that football is in full swing. The NFL has started, and come Sunday it's a bevy of games. College football has been going strong for a couple weeks, and there are some great games this weekend. Plus, my HUSKERS aren't looking as crappy as they have the past few years. Local high school football started Friday night, my time, and my alma mater kicked our rivals' asses, blanking them 14-0. I have high hopes, despite the three-time defending champs, who blasted their opening opponents by a crazy 54-0. That's a beat down!

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