The best of DZER

OK ... I'm too tired, worn, bored, beat and just plain uninspired to write. So you get summer reruns. Hmm ... let's make that "Classic DZER."

Here's a little gem from July 29 of last year. Hey, if you haven't read it before, it's new to you.

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Vegetarians — just eat vegetables, dammit!

Here's something I've never understood: Why make a huge lifestyle change, such as becoming vegetarian, and then eat veggie-burgers and other fake meat products for the majority of the time?

If you want your vegetables to taste like hamburgers, or barbecue ribs, or whatever ... too fucking bad! Eat your tofu squares, but don't make them look and taste like hotdogs.

When you give up meat, you give up the taste of meat too. Period.

Put a carrot on a hotdog bun. Heap tomatoes and eggplants on a hamburger bun.

But fucking give up the ghost, for christ's sake.

Oh, and the phrases "I'm a vegetarian, but I eat fish," and "I'm a vegetarian but I have chicken now and the" mean that you're a pretentious, lying, non-vegetarian.

Don't even get me started on the Vegans ...

I-C-U ..

Fear the arched eyebrow, people.

FEAR IT!!

film fun fridays, folks ...

Some of the movies that are now considered not only classic, but among the best ever made, weren't recognized as such by some of the critics of the day. Here are some examples, courtesy of Vanity Fair’s “From Sneer to Eternity.”

• Casablanca: “Not quite up to ‘Across the Pacific’ … but is nevertheless pretty tolerable.”

• 2001: A Space Odyssey: “In some ways it’s the biggest amateur movie of them all. … It’s a monumentally unimaginative movie.”

• The Godfather: “Brando is handicapped by poor makeup. … Al Pacino rattles around in a part too demanding for him. … The surprisingly rotten score (is) by Nino Rota.”

• Psycho: “This is third-rate Hitchcock. … A reflection of a most unpleasant mind, a mean, sly, sadistic little mind. … Merely one of those television shows padded out two hours by adding pointless subplots and realistic detail.”

• The Wizard of Oz: “I sat cringing before MGM’s Technicolor production … which displays no trace of imagination, good taste, or ingenuity. … I say it’s a stinkeroo. … Bert Lahr is funny but out of place.”

• Citizen Kane: “Though the attempt is praiseworthy, the results are shockingly unsatisfying.”

• It’s a Wonderful Life: “At best all this seems to me insipid, and at its worst an embarrassment to both flesh and spirit.”

• Lawrence of Arabia: “It is, in the last analysis, just a huge, thundering camel-opera.”

• Gone with the Wind: “We still feel that color is hard on the eyes for so long a picture.”

In short … perhaps there is hope for the panned movies of today. Perhaps “Little Buddha” will one day be regarded as high art … but probably not.

and the list grows ...

Please welcome to the fold of DZERettes, the loverly snavylyn!!

Make sure you visit her and give some love and spankings.

That brings the total up to 21.

If you want to join the roster of DZERettes, the instructions for doing so can be found by clicking the button on the sidebar.

:)

early HNT from Guam cancelled ...

... to bring you the results of my "industrious" mood early Wednesday morning.

Background: When I come home for the day, I empty out my pockets. On a shelf near the fridge, I had a steel "piggybank" can with a coin slot in the top flat surface. Pennies, nickels and dimes go in, no matter how much I have. Quarters go into a different container, for laundry usage.

I noticed yesterday that it was pretty full; it was heavy with loose change.

So from about 12:30 a.m. till about 4 a.m., I separated the coins — pennies in one bowl, nickels in another, dimes in another. I managed to count and stack the nickels and dimes during that period, and during my somewhat short lunch break Wednesday afternoon, I got the pennies done.

This is the result, all nice and neat and ready to be taken to the bank and deposited in my savings account.

750 pennies = 15 rolls at 50 cents per roll = $7.50

400 dimes = 8 rolls at $5 per roll = $40

280 nickels = 7 rolls at $2 per roll = $14

1,430 total coins for a total of $61.50

The life of DZER is just crying out for a reality show, huh?

ok, here's the deal

• a little more than 4 hours sleep last night

• got home from work, started to relax with some poker on TV and perfectly baked baguette.

• got a call and had to come back into work.

• blogging from work (gasp).

• not sure when I'm getting out of here.

• not sure when I'm coming home.

• not sure I won't stop at a gentleman's club and enjoy the wares served there.

• not sure what I'll eat or when.

• not sure who really cares about any of this.

• not sure if someone's still irritated by me ... scratch that; I'm pretty sure.

• not sure how much longer I can keep from not smoking.

• not sure what I want to do with my life, or where I want to do it.

• not sure if I even care all that much anymore about previous not sure.

• not sure about a lot of things, apparently.

Oh, and Lalaine ... I will be sure to write you back via e-mail when I eventually do get home. I'm one of the worst in the world when it comes to replying to e-mails ... statement, not necessarily apology ;) ... but I promise to get back atcha, since you're one of the few who write me on any kind of regular basis, and plus I miss ya.

tuesday means ...

return videos .................................. UPDATE: didn't

poker ............................................. UPDATE: lost a lot

come home .................................... UPDATE: accomplished

sleep .............................................. UPDATE: that's a while off

that's it; that's the plan

stay tuned for more thrilling news

uninspired ...

... updates as warranted.

or not.

goodbye shitty weekend ...

hello shitty week.

salvaged ...

Amazing how working a lot of extra hours on the weekend and feeling all grumpy and "en mood de funk" can all be majorly alleviated by a few hours on the golf course with a good friend and two sweet (usually LOL) boys.

My very long Saturday was washed away at the first tee and forgotten completely by the time I tapped in my bogey putt — evidenced by four straight pars, a long putt to save bogey, and a perfectly hit putt for a BIRDIE (wooohooo!!) on a long par-5 after stiffing a 9-iron to about three feet.

Now I know that most of that, for most of you, read like the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon -- Waah-waah-waah-waah, waah-waah-waah." But it means I did good to start my round; I ended up just five over par for the front nine, shooting a 41. And though my back nine wasn't great, I managed to shoot well enough to break 90, which is a rarity for me.

So I ended up VERY happy with my round.

And despite a few moments of slight misbehaving and the like from the godsons, a fun time was had by all. The both hit some pretty good shots from the tee now and then, and both holed out some great putts too.

Here's a pic of Steve and the boys, J in the middle and A on the right, on the third tee box.

Ain't those boys the cutest?



Holy shit was it ever bakingly hot and sultrily humid out there today!!