a bit of rambling ...

• It's freaking hot right now. I just go home about 20 minutes ago and it was hot in here. I cranked up the aircon and have the fan running, but it's still hot. Sweltering. Sultry. Gonna be awhile before things cool down enough. Fuck.

• I think I will take a nice, long, cold shower in a few minutes and just kind of stand there under the streaming cool water. Yes, that sounds good.

• Today was a good day. Work went smoothly. Had a decent lunch. Got the head shaved. Went to play in a poker tournament. Got bounced out late, didn't make the final table, but sat in on a cash game on another table and ended up winning back the money I paid for the tournament entrance fee. Plus I ate a few good sandwiches, drank several sodas and played poker for four hours and all it cost me was about $5. Sweet.

• On the way home I picked up three packs of microwaveable White Castle burgers. Oh man were they ever good. Not as good as sliders fresh of the grill, but very, very tasty. So I'm a bit tired and food groggy to boot ... and sticky warm. Ugh.

• I'm sooooo not in the mood/place to write the edits for the weekend right now, but I have to get them done before I go to sleep. Hopefully I'll feel a little more creative and jazzed after the shower, when I'm cooled down and not so bloated.

• I forgot to bring my camera with me today, which sucked because the sunset tonight was freaking amazing.

• I love having about $400 in cash just sitting in my pocket. It doesn't make me feel rich, exactly, but I do feel that I'm somewhat comfortable ... OK, not even that. What I feel like is that I could blow this cash and it won't affect my ability to pay bills and eat till payday. I love that feeling.

• I was going to post an elaborate hoax here on the blog, to get people all worked up and freaked out and then, when they went to the comment section, the big APRIL FOOL'S!! message would have been waiting for them. But I'm too tired, groggy and logy to expend that much effort.

• Or am I?

• One of my secret (not anymore) weaknesses is chewy SweeTarts. I fucking love the sour, tarty sweetness of them.

• That's alway how I like my women.

• I wish the women were as cheap and easy to come by as SweeTarts. Heh.

• I have to go get that shower now or I'll head over to the bed "just to rest my eyes for 30 minutes" only to end up waking up around 5:30 a.m. and then having to write in that condition. That would NOT be good. I've tried it before and it's just no good.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• At the tone, the time on Guam will be 1:40 a.m. ... beeeeeeeep

springing forward ...

Almost all of you will lose an hour of sleep this Sunday. No matter what you do, you will be waking up an hour later.

That's right, kiddos, it's Daylight Savings Time ... time to Spring forward in time in order to add another hour of daylight to everyone's day. Fun, fun, fun.

Unless you live in Guam, Hawaii or most parts of Arizona (excluding Navaho land). We don't follow this antiquated system of energy conservation. Yep, you can't blame the farmers for this, though many do. Unlike the American school calendar (which, seriously, needs to be updated/changes in most places), Daylight Savings is not about agriculture. It was originally proposed by Benjamin Franklin, who figured that the French alone could save about $200 million in candle wax by adopting the concept.

Franklin + the French = trouble.

So why don't Guam, Hawaii or Arizona follow Daylight Savings time? The answer is quite simple: We choose not too. Daylight Savings isn't federal law. OK, it is — The Uniform Time Act of 1966. But, according to the law, states are allowed to opt out. It's just that almost all don't. Part of the reasoning of why Guam and Hawaii don't follow it is because we are much closer to the equator. Therefore, when Earth tilts and shifts in orbit, we aren't as affected by the shift in available daylight hours.

Which I love. Because I hate giving up an hour of sleep at any time, even if I know I will get it back in the fall.

What this means for me is that I get to "see" all of you an hour earlier. The time when I talk to most of those who read my blogs is your first of the morning time — my late night/early morning.

For example, the person I talk to on the West Coast the most, the beautiful and talented Chrissie usually gets up around 6 a.m. their time, midnight my time. Now, she'll still be getting up around 6 a.m. but for me, it'll be 11 p.m. Which means, for me, she'll be leaving an hour earlier for work, which means I can go to sleep an hour earlier ... theoretically. But the odds are I'll stick to my going to sleep time of somewhere between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. Heh.

So, why does the topic of Daylight Savings even come up on my blog, which is usually filled with so much other critical, important and deep informational postings? I thought you'd never ask! Well, in fact I'm pretty sure you wouldn't ask (why would you? LOL), so of course I'm going to share.

It's because I'm a born gloater. A guy who likes to not only watch others suffer, but to lord it over them after informing them of the thing or things that makes them suffer. LOL

So, here goes ... oh, and you have to picture me saying this in a sing-song voice: You have to wake up an hour earlier on Sunday and I don't! Na-na-na, na-na-na!!

LOL

A sad and trite and petty man I am ... I know ... but still ... heh.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• You lose an hour of sleep on Sunday and I don't! LOL ... sorry, that's the rubbing-it-in part of the gloating. ;)

50 things about DZER ... and the early HNT

001.00: I love to play poker. As much as I love winning money playing it, I sublimely enjoy the action. I’ll happily break even or lose some money for several hours worth of good poker.

001.01: The most I have ever one in one game/tournament: $1,250. The most I’ve lost in one game/tournament: $400.

002.00: I was a heavy smoker for more than 20 years before quitting Oct. 24, 2004. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t still want to smoke.

002.01: The first cigarettes I smoked were stolen from my dad, who was a heavy smoker his entire adult life.

003.00: My first car was a 1974 Ford Pinto hatchback in puke yellow. You could pop its trunk — and start the engine — with a flathead screwdriver.

004.00: I was always a pretty smart kid, but didn’t start doing the straight-A thing until the seventh grade … which was the first school year after my radio fell on my head in the night and leaked battery acid. Coincidence?

005.00: I can’t eat beans. They make me physically ill (it’s a post-traumatic, psychosomatic reaction). Same goes for stew.

006.00: When I was an adolescent, one of the things we liked doing was climbing up onto a roof, or up a tree … and then jump to the ground.

007.00: I am the second of five children. I have an older sister, a younger brother, a younger sister and another brother, the youngest of the five, who was born one day before my birthday.

008.00: Most people would never guess it by looking at me or hearing me speak, but I am biracial. I am half Chamorro and half white. On Guam, the term is “Chamaole” … unless you’re trying to be insulting, in which case it’s “half-caste.”

009.00: I can’t speak much Chamorro outside of basic, common phrases. I used to be able to understand much more, but have lost that. I wish I was fluent in my father’s native language, but know I don’t have the aptitude or patience to learn it as an adult.

009.01: Not speaking Chamorro is not uncommon in Chamaoles … or in more and more Chamorros, on a growing basis. The language may not be dying, but it’s getting pretty close.

010.00: I fell into journalism by chance. I had a scholarship that I could take off island, but only if the degree wasn’t offered at the University of Guam. I went to the first thing on the list offered at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln that wasn’t offered at UOG — Advertising. Since the closest thing to that offered at UOG when I came back was Communications, that’s what my major was.

010.01: I graduated cum laude with a B.A. in Communications with a specialization in Mass Media. I should have stayed another year and got a second degree in Psychology or Philosophy.

011.00: I paid for college with a University of Guam Board of Regents Merit Scholarship, which I received for graduating second in my class at Simon Sanchez High School. For my junior and senior years, I also was a Truman Scholar. The Truman would have paid for two years of graduate work, but I kept postponing it until it expired.

012.00: I haven’t had a girlfriend in almost 10 years. Fucking yikes!

013.00: My favorite football team is the Chicago Bears. My favorite Bear of all-time? Tough … but I have to go with Bronko Nagurski.

014.00: I love kissing women. A lot. I mean, you really have no idea. It might be a bit unmanly how much I love kissing, but I don’t fucking care.

015.00: At one point in time, I was among the top-ranked dart players (steel-tips only, thank you; that electronic darts shit is … well, shit. LOL) on Guam. That was a long time ago though; I can’t remember the last time I threw a dart.

015.01: When playing darts, I sold darts and supplies to other players, making a decent second income.

016.00: I have never loved a woman who didn’t end up breaking my heart.

016.01: Not one.

016.01: But most not on purpose.

017.00: It shames me to admit I once purchased a PC — a very long time ago! — thinking I could try it since it was cheaper than any Mac I could get on Guam. The guy who installed it couldn’t get the piece of shit to boot and when he did, it would crash. I took it back the next day and wouldn’t use the best, top-of-the-line non-Mac if you gave it to me for free.

018.00: I have been discriminated against because I am a Mac user. Especially by software companies.

019.00: I allowed myself to be played and exploited by a woman I met on the Internet whom I got “involved” with. And yes, I really would like to have the half-karat diamond earrings back, thank you very much.

020.00: As I have been told by one very good friend on several occasions, and which I recognize and accept, I can be very stupid for someone so fucking smart.

021.00: And yes, I am a genius. And no, I don’t think it’s bragging to state that; it’s simply a fact. I’m tall. I’m fat. I’m a genius. All true.

022.00: Mensa is for losers.

023.00: I am one of the few men of my age who does NOT own a PlayStation 2 or any other gaming system.

024.00: When I was young, I was good at football, bowling, shooting pool, basketball and baseball. Now the only sport I play is golf … and I suck ass.

025.00: I’m a voracious reader and have been ever since I was a child. I think that many of the problems with today’s society, from youths on up, is the high rate of illiteracy and, thus, the lack of a solid education.

026.00: I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican. I don’t think people should limit themselves to either party. I, personally, am conservative in some areas, liberal in others. I’m adamant about some of my personal opinions and stances on issues, while I’m amenable to being swayed by a good argument on others. I also feel that we all should be more tolerant and accepting of others’ views, and learn how to practice true statesmanship and compromise for the overall good of the many.

026.01: I recognize that I’m just as full of shit as anyone else on some things.

027.00: The first time I beat my dad at Scrabble, I was amazed and astonished. Even better was that he wasn’t mad that his kid beat him. In fact, he was proud. And then beat my ass the next game.

028.00: My mom and other family members refused to play the card game Spades against me and my dad, because we were totally in tune and would smash the hell out of anyone we played.

029.00: Some of my fondest memories of growing up are the times we all spent playing board games, card games and doing other things — like hiking, camping and fishing — as a family. It’s rare to see that anymore in today’s world, and I think that’s a very sad thing.

030.00: I love to laugh, and appreciate someone who can get me to experience those deep, from-the-core belly laughs.

031.00: I love the sound and smell of a Zippo lighter being opened and then lit.

032.00: When I was in the fifth and sixth grades, my brother and I used to scrounge bicycles thrown away, usually by families leaving the island, who just tossed them into the boonies. We would clean them up, take all the usable parts and build “new” bikes, which we would then sell to neighborhood kids.

033.00: I believe that the most influential author of the past 100 years or so is J.R.R. Tolkien.

034.00: Twice, school administrators wanted to skip me ahead a grade so that I would be with other kids who were at the same level as I was. Twice, she refused. At the time, I really wanted to be skipped ahead. Now, I’m grateful that she didn’t.

035.00: One of the best places I ever lived as a kid was in Okinawa, Japan. It was a great place to be the age I was — 10-12. We rode our bikes everywhere, and the best place was off base, where we could buy firecrackers and cool toys for cheap, because that was when the yen was really weak to the dollar — our allowances went twice as far as they normally would have. The best place was called “Gate 2 Street” among the base folks. There were tons of stores and markets, great restaurants and more. Someday, I hope to go back.

036.00: Guam has, for the majority of my life, been my home. I grew up here, on and off, as a kid, most of the time up to age 18. It’s been my permanent home since I was 19. But I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to stay here. There is so much more out there.

037.00: This year will mark the 10th anniversary of my father’s death. He died at age 55. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I have never met a finer or better man than he was.

037.01: One of the biggest regrets in my life is that I never really told my dad how much I loved him. I showed him, I think, and I’m sure he knew, but God how I wish I would have actually just said it out loud to him before he died.

038.00: I have four tattoos — a “Punisher” skull, a Minxmaid, a kokopelli and a tribal gecko. I’m planning to get more, but am not sure what the next one will be. I have this cool ghoul, but I’m leaning toward getting something related to the Chicago Bears, like the team logo and/or mascot.

039.00: I think that the best jelly bean is the black jelly bean. Also, I prefer the old-school jelly beans, which had flavors the same as their color. LOL

040.00: I drink coffee pretty much on a daily basis, to one extent or another — sometimes just a cup, sometimes 10-12 cups.

040.01: I also drink copious amounts of Assam Black Tea. It’s the best iced tea sold commercially.

041.00: I think I would have made a great historian and philosopher. I loved both subjects in school, but didn’t see any kind of job future in either one, outside of teaching. I mean, who hires philosophers? Or historians, for that matter? LOL

042.00: Sports feats I have accomplished — scored a touchdown, scored an extra point, kicked an extra point, scored a game winning touchdown, won a city championship; hit a home run, hit a grand slam, turned a double play, made all-star teams, won a league title; blocked a shot, dunked a ball (OK, it was a volleyball … LOL), hit a 3-point shot; spiked a volleyball in someone’s face, served an ace; hit a bullseye to win a dart match, hit a Ton80; bowled a turkey, scored above 280 in a bowling game; sank the 8-ball on the break, sank a 9-ball on the break, ran the table … among others.

043.00: I have a clean record; I have never been convicted of a felony. But at one time, I was a kid who often did things I shouldn’t have done … I just didn’t get caught … or the times I was caught, I was given a break.

044.00: I think most drivers are total idiots and that my driving skills and abilities are far superior to others. Sometimes while traveling as a passenger, I have to bite my lip to keep from telling someone how they can drive better.

045.00: I am a great sulker and pouter. I’m not proud of the fact, and I try not to, but I can’t totally suppress this native talent. LOL

046.00: I hate gross hypocrisy more than most things. Oh … and fanatics/fanaticism.

047.00: I hate doing laundry. I hate most cleaning chores, but laundry is the one I detest the most. Well, maybe not the most, but close!

047.01: Sweeping and mopping suck ass too.

048.00: I have anal-retentive tendencies, but I’m not totally anal-retentive. Sometimes, I wish I was, because then it would mean that I would be a lot less sloppy than I am.

049.00: I can’t get enough of crime/legal dramas like “CSI,” “NCIS,” “Law and Order,” “Criminal Minds” and the like. I think this all started way back with shows like “Quincy,” “Ironsides” and “Perry Mason.” I think that if I had much more initiative and an aptitude for science, that I would have tried to become a forensic scientist, or possibly a chief medical examiner.

050.00: I hate making lists. Actually, that’s not true at all. I love making lists. I love checking things off my list. This is a symptom of my anal-retentive tendencies.

050.01: I would be totally surprised if more than two or three people actually read this whole list. LOL

And now, the early HNT!!

To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:


Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• There was a very short-lived effort, back in the late 1940s/early 1950s, to incorporate Guam and the CNMI as part of the Hawaii statehood iniative. We essentially would have been counties of Hawaii. And why not? We're only 3,800 miles away from each other. LOL

i'm up way too late ...

had a great evening playing cards

won a little bit ... $87 ... gonna treat myself to a fancy lunch later today, complee with dessert

talked to my favorite person in the world, though not for long enough (but is it ever?)

ate some cold chinese food and a big, juicy mango

should be in bed now, sleeping ... or at least trying to sleep

watching King Kong instead ... but don't know how long I can keep my eyes open

of course, that didn't/doesn't stop me from getting on blogger and documenting this scintillating early morning encounter for all of you

maybe a nice cup of cocoa and then to bed

hmmm ... nah

just bed

nighty-night

a googlism for the DZER ...

Stolen from Velma (thanks doll! *smooch*)

Googlism.com will find out what Google.com thinks of you, your friends or anything! Search for your name here or for a good laugh check out some of the popular Googlisms below.

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Googlism for: DZER
Sorry, Google doesn't know enough about dzer yet.

*sniffle*
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Googlism for: Duane
(a selection; not the complete list)

• Duane is the man. (Heh)
• Duane is president of the Duane corporation.
• Duane is the leader of the infamous U.S. Bombs.
• Duane is ecstatic.
• Duane is very happy to get fan mail. (Very true! Write me!)
• Duane is the ranking minority member on the committee on investigation.
• Duane is a real estate agent that is known in the community of Windsor for his dedicated client service.
• Duane is regarded by many as the top rock.
• Duane is going to divorce her. (What the hell? Who am I married to?)
• Duane is the president and founder of Baron Financial.
• Duane is a bright.
• Duane is in the forefront of utilizing object viewer technology.
• Duane is an outstanding runner. (LMAO)
• Duane is one of the country's best.
• Duane is a vegetarian. (This must be Duane’s evil clone!)
• Duane is a master gardener.
• Duane is a regular guest on regional television programs such as "Arklahoma Outdoors" and "Arkansas Outdoors.”
• Duane is the coach of the us youth fly fishing team & host of "Fly Fishing with Duane” on the sportsman's intractive magazine.
• Duane is available to give public presentations on the themes featured within this website.
• Duane is with a girl. (Duane wishes!!)
• Duane is the development officer for the department of mechanical engineering.
• Duane is remembered in history for its association with the Coast Guard and naval action in World War II.
• Duane is convinced that freedom in Christ means that he can do whatever he wants and god is obligated to forgive.
• Duane is an accomplished accordionist. (Polka, anyone?)
• Duane is a professional forester and has been a computer programmer and consultant for local small businesses since 1979.
• Duane is a powerful and energetic speaker and has shared his overwhelming knowledge on health.
• Duane is well acquainted with hostage crises.
• Duane is proud of his family. (Then why am I divorcing her?)
• Duane is tops. (Yay!)
• Duane is plant manager for the automotive and industrial electronics group for Motorola where he is responsible for seven production operations.
• Duane is saddled with a tired marriage; troubled children in various stages of pregnancy. (Is that why I’m divorcing her?)
• Duane is a lesbian. (True; but aren’t we all, to some degree? LOL)
• Duane is responsible for all sales and marketing of the Seahawks and its stadium along with an exhibition center, which includes television and radio.
• Duane is the proud father of four kids. (Not that I know of)
• Duane is the author of “Awakening Earth.”
• Duane is a former Barbershopper of the Year for the Winona Chapter and is the 1995 Land O’Lakes District barbershopper of the year. (Need a hair cut?)
• Duane is living what many Americans would call a dream life. (Only very poor Americans)
• Duane is bowling in another PBA regional event.
• Duane is also often seen performing for conventions of magicians. (Fuck you, it’s magic!)
• Duane is an internationally recognized expert in welded connection design.
• Duane is an asset to any band he performs with.
• Duane is also the author of “The Acorn Stories.”
• Duane is the boy next door. (Heh)
• Duane is the 1990 recipient of the Giants Award.
• Duane is currently working on Project Muse.
• Duane is getting quite good at feet and inches now. (Next up, meters and centimeters!)
• Duane is a graduate of Central Bible College in Springfield. (Amen)
• Duane is also deeply rooted as an advocate for the perpetuation and survival of the cultural arts within his native heritage.
• Duane is a rare breed of performer whose magic appears effortless. (Abracadabra!)
• Duane is one of Bermuda's premier entertainers.
• Duane is depressed. (Is that why I’m divorcing her?)
• Duane is deeply appreciative of the support and encouragement of those who enjoy his work.
• Duane is contacted by members of the press for expert background.
• Duane is a 6-foot, 4-inch 285-pound African-American wrestling superstar who hails from Atlanta. (I wish I was 285 pounds! LOL)
• Duane is supported and encouraged in his ministry by his lovely wife. (Wait! Aren’t I divorcing her?)

sumptuous burgers and gas prices ...

Monday's almost over ... but not quite. *sigh*

Odds are I'm going to have to go back into the office in about 15 to 20 minutes ... so I'll try to keep this short — for now, anyway.

Since so many of your expressed interest — and hunger — over my burger plans, I thought I'd show you the end product. Now I didn't end up having these for lunch on Saturday. I just didn't feel like cooking much during most of the weekend. I ended up cooking these up late Sunday night into Monday morning. I had planned on Chinese food, but didn't want to drive that far. So — minced onions and garlic and salt and pepper mixed into the meat, grilled to medium. Toasted onion rolls, fresh local tomatoes and crispy bacon. The gunk on the bun is habañero mayonnaise and French's yellow mustard.

Yummy-most, people!

The price of gas on Guam went up last week. Here are the current prices. I have a feeling the price might go up again soon, as early as this week, because of how much it's gone up in the states over the past couple of weeks — not that Guam gas prices are tied to national gas prices, because they're not. Our prices are tied to the Singapore price of oil, because that's where we get our gas from.

The good news is that our Circle K's are now stocking Nathan's hot dogs! LOL ... Oh, and also, they now carry White Castle hamburgers. Now I haven't had a White Castle burger in years and years, but I'm not sure that getting the microwave version at a gas station will do the trick.

And yay! I just found out I won't have to go in after all, so I'm going to have a bowl of ice cream and watch 2-1/2 men.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The "state" tree of Guam is the ifil tree (Intsia bijuga). It's an extremely dense, hard-to-work hardwood that, in the region, is considered one of the most valuable timbers in Southeast Asia. On Guam it's illegal to cut the tree down; you can only harvest fallen wood. It's used by craftsmen and woodworkers for cultural and artistic work.

Sunday ... and the soon-to-be Monday ...

As I start writing this entry, there are just 35 minutes left till Monday.

Fuck, do Mondays ever suck. Worst day of the week — bar none.

Can I get an, "Amen ?"

As is the case of most days of the week, it is named after a god. But not a cool god. That's why Thursdays rock — because they are Thor's days, and Thor was one bad-ass god. Not Monday. Monday is named after Mani, the moon god of Germany. I'm pretty sure he wasn't the god of the moon, as in the satellite rock in orbit around Earth. I'm positive he was the Germanic god of showing ass as a means of mockery.

Think about it. On Monday morning, don't you feel like someone has just shown you a hairy, brautwurst-padded Heinz heinie?

Let's not forget, it was a Black Monday that's seen as the start of the Great Depression ... and so many of our little depressions.

This is what I'm going to be seeing in just a matter of hours:

Yep. This is my parking space. Yep, I have reserved parking — part of the compensation package for being a high-falutin' editor ;) ... but what I need is valet parking ... LOL

Sometimes, if I get there early (rare — I have my drive timed down pretty much perfectly), I just sit in the truck and stare at the 37. And just wish I had bought a lottery ticket that was a winning ticket. And looking at my watch, wondering how much longer I can put off going in.

And it's not because of my job, because I have a good job. I work with good people. I work for good people. It's just that if work was optional and I could still do all I do now WITHOUT working ... I wouldn't. LOL ... THAT'S how much of a lazy ass I am.

But I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Almost all of you are just starting your Sunday. You have a whole day of possibilities in front of you. You can laze about, make love (well, some of you can LOL), do chores, run errands, watch a movie, drive to the country, go into the city ... but not me. Nope, I'm heading to work soon.

Well, at least Friday is closer for me! LOL

Sunday went pretty much as planned: Slept in till 11:30 a.m., then drove down to the hotel for the card game. We only had 13 players; several who had "confirmed" were not only no-shows, but they didn't answer their phones. I'm guessing their wives clamped them down hard.

It was still a good game. I had a good run and lasted all the way to third place — and only because the time the poker gods chose to give me pocket Queens, they gave one of the other two guys still left in the game pocket Kings. Bastards. What makes it wors is if I would have played a garbage hand of Jack-four off-suit the hand just before that, I would have broke one of them and cut into the other's chip stack, thanks to the full house I would have had. Oh, capricious poker.

So I won enough to pay my backer back the entrance fee, then with the split winnings I left with a whole $40. LOL

Oh well, it was a great way to spend a Sunday and with just a few different moves it could have meant a huge payout. So, all in all, a decent Sunday afternoon.

After that it was just about making myself some dinner, taking a nap and watching some TV.

Overall ... not a bad weekend at all. :)

Ack! It's Monday!!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• What kind of Guam facts do YOU folks want to read about? I got all kinds of miscellaneous information in my skull about this place ... anything you want to know more about? Culture? History? Common-day practices? Island events? Landmarks? Historical sites? Let DZER know!!