... the funk seems to have struck again.
what am I doing? why am I doing it? why am I not doing anything to change it? should I? should I just ride it out?
does it really matter -- to me or anyone else -- in the long run? or the short run, for that matter?
guess I'm just wondering ... well, about everything. but the "what ifs" and "why nots" and "if onlys" don't generate any coherent thought; in fact, they only serve to make things more jumbled, complicated, meaningless. they only serve to make me more disaffected, morose, befuddled, furious. but not thinking about that does pretty much the same thing.
i envy those who have a much better grasp on things ... what they want to do for a living or career ... who they want to be with or are with ... that actually like where they're at ... even those who know for sure that they don't like where they're at and plan to do something about it.
obviously, there's no real coherent point to this rambling, self-pitying, mopey post. and yet, nonetheless, here it is ...
