a little bit of this, a little bit of that ...

Diggety dog ...
Yes, I am trying to find an apartment at which I can have a pooch. I haven't abandoned the idea of a DZER-dog, so keep your fingers crossed that I can find a place that allows pets.

This loveable canine to the right is my last dog, our family dog before my mom moved and gave him to one of my uncles. His name is Spots (creative, no?) and he was a great dog. He was a yard dog, and protected my truck on at least one occasion from having its rims stolen. He had a vicious bark, but really was a gentle dog. He had amazing jaw stregth — he enjoyed ripping the husks off coconuts. He was also and expert killer of chickens; if any strayed within his chain-length, it became an offering at the stairs for my mom.

He got along great with all my mom's cats, but didn't like being caught at it. If you walked up and the cats were eating out of his dish, or snuggled up to him, he'd get up and start barking at them, thinking that's what we wanted from him. The cats all knew better and would just give him this, "Oh shut up already" look.

Tux chic...
I found this scanned pic a few days ago; forgot I had it. It was taken at my friend B's wedding (she's on the left), at which I was the Man of Honor. On the right is B's sister, F. They're both amazing women, smart and pretty, and both of them have been Guam national bodybuilding champions, as well as South Pacific gold-medal winners.

I'm posting this because I miss them both a lot.

Oh, and to once again show that I rock a tuxedo. LOL

Grin and shred it...
I love to shred things.

There, I said it. I'm admitting to it. Sometimes I bring extra papers and documents home from the office, stuff I don't even need ... just so I can shred it. Sick, but in an anally-retentive fun way!


This is my new shredder; my old one finally crapped out on me. If it wasn't for the move, I would have bought the one that shreds in two directions, resulting in confetti, but couldn't bring myself to spend double the price of a shredder for the double-cut fun.

Update, finally...
Yes, after far too long, there are finally some new photos up on DZER's Guam Pics. I'll try to do a better job at updating this page on something of a regular basis.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam's 19 villages each have a patron saint; a few have two. Every year, on each of those saint's feast days, the villages throw huge fiestas, most of which consist of activities and mini-carnivals, gambling and cockfights over the course of at least one weekend, often two. And the food — various homes throughout the village host major fiesta feasts, with table after table stacked with a variety of foods. Visitors are welcome, even total strangers.

you're beautiful ... you're beautiful ... you're beautiful, it's true ...

... but it's time to face the truth ... I will never be with you ...

and the hunt begins ...

Wow.

There are a LOT of shitty apartments and houses out there.

I decided to be proactive and to start looking for a new place to live the day after I found out I had to be out of my current low-rent apartment.

For those of you who didn't peruse the comments section of my blog for yesterday too closely, my landlord — who's a poker buddy and a cool guy — sold the apartment he's been renting to me to his sister, who wants to renovate the place and thus needs me out. It's the only apartment in building of 18 apartments that's individually owned; the rest are owned by someone who hates the fact that someone else owns one apartment, but that's another story. LOL

So I made some calls to people listing in the classifieds section of the newspaper, and a different poker buddy who's a realtor. He took me to a nice little studio apartment a little bit south of where I live. It's a nice place, has a small pool, a little bit of a backyard and a great ocean view. But the owner wants $650 for it, water included, which means with power it will cost me close to $800 a month. Ouch.

I checked out an apartment in a complex about a half block away from me. It's a 1-bedroom, a little more space than the studio. I'm already leaning to this one, which is $500 a month. A smidge closer to work, plus it has a laundry room and a backup generator for when the power goes out.

Two others I looked at ... ugh. One was for $450 a month. I didn't bother getting out of my truck. Building seemed kind of seedy and dilapidated, plus there was a horde of little street urchin children lingering around outside like a pack of post-apocalyptic reavers. Yikes. The second was listed as a "studio house" for only $375 a month. That should have been a big clue, but I went to look at it anyway. Turns out "studio house" means converted shipping container on a shaky foundation with a tin-roofed extension. Got out of the truck, but was scared to enter the place.

I've also had people try to explain their apartment over the phone, all the while trying to avoid detailed explanations, like they were trying to hide stuff. Idiots. I mean, I'm going to look at it before I rent it ... duh!

A couple of friends of mine are going to check with some of their friends to see if they have any decent places for rent in the central area of Guam. I should know on that front by Monday or Tuesday.

But for now I'm leaning toward at the second place I looked at. If nothing else, at least the move wouldn't be a long haul — a lot of short trips would be nicer than a lot of medium or long trips.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• In ancient Guam, young men went from the parents' hut to a communal hut a little after the age of puberty, where they were schooled in the ways of sex. Basically, a kind of female-staffed frat house. LOL.

well I'm a movin' on up ...

2006 is not my year, at least not so far. In fact, it’s mostly sucked. Let the DZER recap, for those of you who have forgotten or just haven’t been around DZER’s blog all that long:

• There was the infected hangnail toenail, which isn’t as bad now but isn’t all that much better, either.

•My friend L moved stateside, depriving me of a lunch buddy (and removing the only truly hot chick from the newsroom).

• Another Valentine’s Day alone … bleh.

• The extraction of two teeth, including a wisdom tooth, both of which had extremely long roots, which necessitated them being pulled by an oral surgeon instead of my regular dentist (which meant it also cost more).

• I’ve had to put in a lot of long days (sometimes 12 hours), though to balance that, it was due to a promotion.

• I broke a pinky toe.

See? Crappy year so far. I did get the promotion, won a corporate-level writing award and celebrated a birthday with fine food, but those are about the only real highlights.

Why am I bitching about all of this crap? Well, it’s because I have something new to add to the shitlist.

I have to move.

By the end of the month.

Fuck me.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a sweet two-bedroom apartment that’s about 5 minutes away from the office. It’s centrally located, in a quiet, trouble-free area. It’s pretty close to the beach and a whole lot of conveniences, such as stores and gas stations.

Oh, and I was only paying $300 a month for the place. On Guam, the low-end rate for a decent two-bedroom apartment is about $650-$700. So I was getting a killer deal.

Now I will have to find a new place to live. Which will mean trying to find a place in a central location that’s close to work. Which means paying anywhere from $200 to $350 more per month for a smaller place.

It also means I’ll have to pack up all my shit and fucking MOVE. I fucking HATE moving. I hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

*sigh*

Well, I guess it gives me a full-on legitimate reason to pare down my shit, to thin out my possessions, to get rid of a bunch of crap and stuff.

Remember? I said I was going to clean up and minimize my possessions and sell off a bunch of stuff. Well, now I have little choice, unless I want to cart truckloads of shit elsewhere — rather, more truckloads of shit than absolutely necessary.

I need to start gathering boxes. Stores throw them out like crazy, but moving places charge like a couple of bucks a box. Are there people who actually buy cardboard boxes? I guess so, or else they wouldn’t be on sale in so many places … LOL. As for me, it’s time to drive around the back of some retail outlets and stock up on cardboard boxes, baby!

Fuck.

Tried to get enthused there, but it’s hard. Moving sucks so much ass.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam is surrounded by a coral reef, which helps protect its shores from the worst a typhoon could potentially deliver to the island. It was dying off in most parts for years because of overfishing, environmental damage by runoff and the like. Protecting many reef areas via the creation of marine preserves has helped them rebound, though more work in other areas still needs to be done.

a decadently delicious HNT ...

I put my hands on you. Firmly, but not too strong.

No; it's a caressing touch on your skin, lightly squeezing you, feeling you.

Reveling in how perfectly you fit in my capable, exploring hands.

You're cool to the touch, but soon you will be mine.

I nibble lightly, my teeth grazing your skin.

My tongue trailing wet licks along your supple contours.

I take a harder bite.

I feel you give in to my hunger.

You open to my eager mouth, giving yourself completely to me.

Your juices are flowing and sweet ... so deliciously sweet on my lips.

Oh my God.

You taste so fucking good.

Your sticky juices are covering my lips, my mouth, my chin.

My face moves up and down, my hands gripped firmly around you as I eat you.

Fuck me you are sooooo fucking good.

I can't get enough of you. I could eat you all night long.

You fucking delicious mango, you!

Heh.

* Dedicated to Always Aroused Girl. ;)

To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:


LOOK OUT BELOW!!
• Or, rather, look down below! Head's up people — another cool and fun post below this one! Scroll down, biotches!!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Mangoes are one of Guam's favorite fruits. We have a local version that grows here that is smaller than the huge Peruvian mangoes that go to grocery stores. While some people like eating local mangoes when they're ripe, more enjoy them pickled with hot peppers or eaten when they're almost ripe but still green, when you press the fruity flesh into a mix of salt and hot peppers.

The DZER remains the same ...

This one is stolen from Snow White, you stole it from elsewhere.

The rules are you pick an artist and answer the questions only using titles of their songs. Here's the DZER’s:

Name of band/artist: Led Zeppelin

• Are you male or female? “Moby Dick”

• Describe yourself: “Dazed And Confused”

• How do you feel about yourself? “Over The Hills And Far Away”

• Describe your ex girlfriend: “I Can't Quit You Baby”

• Describe current girlfriend/boyfriend: “Nobody's Fault But Mine”

• Describe where you want to be: “Going To California”

• Describe how you live: “The Song Remains The Same”

• Describe how you love: “Good Times Bad Times”

• What would you ask for if you had just one wish? “Whole Lotta Love”

• Share a few words of Wisdom: “Ramble On”

• Now say goodbye: “Gallows Pole”

sacrifice and abstention ...

For those of you who don't know, I am somewhat of a lapsed Catholic.

Grew up in a double-tough Catholic home — my mom comes from a long line of German-Irish Catholics. My dad from a long line of Chamorro Catholics.

When I was growing up, we went to church every Sunday. CCD classes (Sunday school) as well. Mass on all the holy days. Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, back when it was still held at midnight. All the sacraments ... well, I still have marriage and last rites left to go; I'm sure I'll get one or the other soon! LOL

I didn't really question my faith growing up, not vocally at least. I wondered why we did some things, but not because I was against them; just because I was curious. I read the Illustrated Children's Bible at a young age. By Grade 5 I had worked my way through the Old Testament and the New Testament of the Roman Catholic Bible.

When I was living on Guam, I was very involved with our church, Nuestra Señora de las Aguas — Our Lady of the Waters — in Mongmong. My auntie and uncle lived just down the street from the church, so when we lived on Guam — even when we were half the island away living on the Air Force base — we went to church there. I got my First Holy Communion there. I was Confirmed there.

During our high school years, the parish priest liked me and my brother, James. We were tall, so we could easy maneuver the long-handled collection baskets (though the first time I did it, I hit the back of a lady's head LOL). You had to extend the basket at least halfway down a pew, then draw it back, lift it up and into the next row, and repeat — without spilling bills or loose change. My uncle made me and my brother help one Sunday when a couple of the usual guys weren't there, and we came to be regulars.

The priest also often called on us to do the readings. We read well, projected our voices, and didn't stumble over words like "Ephesians" or the more esoteric old-school words like "doth" and "thee." So I would do the first reading, he would do the second. Or vice versa.

Lent was always a big deal in our house. We went to Mass to kick things off on Ash Wednesday, which is today, by the way. We all gave up something we really liked so we could gain some limited understanding of what Jesus went through during his 40 days and nights in the desert, though of course we could never come anywhere close.

We didn't fast, but there was no meat on the holy days — Ash Wednesday, Holy Thursday, Holy Saturday — and, of course, on every Friday as well, including Holy Friday. No chicken, no beef, no pork. Only fish and seafood. And eggs. I actually miss those Fridays during Lent, because it broke up our routine meals we had on a regular basis. Scrambled eggs and rice were good, or a cheese omelet that my dad made perfectly. Salads with all kinds of vegetables. Pop made killer tuna fish and egg salad sammiches too, and grilled cheese to die for. Nobody has made grilled cheese better than him.

Fuck I'm hungry for grilled cheese. LOL

Fishsticks were popular. As was reef fish barbecued up or deep-fried. Up until about junior high, I liked fish a lot. My favorite part of fried fish were the eyeballs. But at some point I lost my taste for most fish dishes. Oh well.

Anyway, back to the reason behind this post.

I haven't been to Mass in ages, let alone observed the Lenten season. But this year, I am going to give some things up for the 40-day stretch. Maybe I'll even try to go to Mass. Lord knows it couldn't hurt me.

Here's what I will do without during Lent:

• Texas Hold 'Em. I play at least once a week, often twice. For the next 40 days, I won't play at all ... (pauses to allow everyone to pick their jaws up off the floor).

• Strippers. No strip clubs, period. No lunches with strippers. No strolling down to several places in Tumon where I often see and talk to strippers ... (waits for the cries of "Bullshit!!" to die down).

Heh.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Pale' San Vitores, "The First Apostle of the Marianas," noted in his journals that ancient Chamorros were highly skilled in the use of slings. He writes; "They can throw stones from a sling with such dexterity and strength that they are able to drive them into the trunk of a tree." San Vitores is largely credited with the conversion of the Chamorros to Catholicism. He was martyr, being slain by the Chamorro Chief Matapang, after baptizing the chief's daughter without Matapang's consent.

i'm crushing my head, i'm crushing my head ...

This pretty much sums up my day.

How close did I come to smoking a cigarette?

][

*sigh*

If I had any energy left, I'd head to the strip club.

Drown my sorrows in a beer ...

... and between Yvette's thighs ...

... and between Desiree's tits ...

... and another beer.

I really wish the last decent strip club near my house hadn't moved.

Blech.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam has the ONLY dive site in the world in which you can view both a World War II vessel — the Japanese Tokai Maru — and a World War I vessel — the German Cormoran — in the same dive, as the Tokai Maru rests atop the Cormoran.

ouch ... oh, and new DZERettes ...

I’m pretty sure that I broke my left pinky toe on Saturday. If it’s not broken, it’s the closest it can be to being broken without actually being broken. It aches a bit but doesn’t really hurt-hurt — unless I bump it against something; then it hurts mucho. It’s red and purple and black. Not pretty. Well, then again, it’s not like I have good-looking toes. I have ugly toes, actually. I’ll never be a toe model (if there are those). But now it looks pretty rough and nasty.

As you can see, by the disgusting picture I’ve included.

Heh.

Thanks, Madame X, for reminding me that I forgot to say how I fucked it up.

So I'm taking the grocery cart back to the front of the grocery store, having just unloaded my groceries into the truck. Some begging person comes up and, in an attempt to step aside from his reekingness, my left pinky toe — I was wearing flipflops at the time — hits hard on the edge of one of those concrete block yellow parking things the put in parking spaces for the idiots who don't know how far they can drive up. I hit it as my foot is swinging forward, so I get the smashing into it part, plus the rest of my foot keeps going on, so I get the bent back fun too. Fucking ouch.

Didn't notice how bad it was, other than the aching bit, until I got home and could see it up close in color.

So … what am I going to do about my likely-to-be-broken toe?

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

What would be the point? Spending money on a visit to the doctor so that he can tell me, yes, it is broken? It’s not like they make little splints for pinky toes. A cast would be not only pointless, but cumbersome.

So I guess I’ll just wait for it to heal on its own, and try my best not to catch it on anything or bump it against anything.

NEW DZERETTES!!
That’s right, folks. It’s been a while since we’ve had any additions to the wonderful world of the DZERettes, and now we have three in one weekend!

Heh … I like using “we” as in the royal DZER we … almost as fun as DZER referring to DZER in the third person.

Anyhoo … the new DZERettes are:

• Madame X

• prairie girl

• snow white

I hope all the other DZERettes join the DZER in welcoming the new members to the fold, with plenty of lingerie pillow fights and girlie kisses … heh.

Do YOU wanna be a DZERette? Check the right rail and find out how!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• There are four letters in the word Guam — “G,” “U,” “A” and “M.” And, yes, that’s the correct order. Heh.