hard to beat free golf ...

A day of golf — good or bad — is better than a day spent doing almost anything else.

When that day of golf is free, it's 10 times better.

My co-worker, friend and frequent golfing companion, Cid, and I found out on Thursday that there were two sponorship openings for a best-ball golf fundraising tournament on Saturday, and we quickly accepted. The tourney was held at one of Guam's better golf courses, LeoPalace Resort, which has about five nine-hole courses, many of them designed by Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. The resort itself hosts what are pretty much the premier sports facilities on the island. It routinely brings in professional teams from Japan and Korea to do spring-training kind of practice.

It's a tough set of courses to play — if your ball gets past the primary cut of rough, it's pretty much gone forever and unfindable; that's how thick and nasty the secondary cut of rough is.

The bad part of all this? Showtime of 7 a.m. with a tee time of 8 a.m. Which meant waking up at 6:30 a.m. Ouch. Which was made worse because despite all my planning and self promising, I didn't get to the weekend edits till after 11 p.m. and didn't finish them and get them mailed out till almost 2 a.m. So, waking up super early after about 4 hours and change of sleep. Yurk.

Cid and I played in foursome with two nice guys — a dentist and a banker. It was a great day. We played best-ball format and ended up shooting a 5-over 77, which could have been much lower. We had a several birdie and par putts lip out or otherwise just barely miss. But it was still a good score for us, and the company was good and the day was gorgeous.

And, oh yes ... IT WAS FREAKING FREE!! LOL

Here's a shot of the clubhouse on one of our final holes. And yes, it was this gorgeous pretty much the whole day. A bit hot, but there were a lot of drinks out on the course, so I stayed hydrated. This time, I DID remember my sunscreen, though I still got a little toasty thanks to the heat index.

We got a nice little ditty bag — they give out little things in a bag for tournament participants. This one was a six-pack cooler bag stuffed with two sleeves of high-end golf balls (one sleeve of Titleists, one of Nike golf balls), two baseball caps with sponsor logos, a little on-the-go coffee/beverage drinking container thing, a pen and a beer cozy. We got that just for showing up and playing! There was a continental breakfast of fruit and assorted breakfast foods, like Chamorro empanada, donuts, chicken kelaguen wraps, etc.

After we were done, it was into the clubhouse for a buffet and the after-golf thing of raffling off prizes and announcing winners. The food was good, which was nice, because sometimes the chow after these fundraising tournaments can be dicey. LOL ... I bought $25 worth of raffle tickets, as did Cid, which got us each six tickets. I ended up winning a dinner for two at a hotel restaurant ($80 value) and a pesticide company's ant-and-roach treatment for a single-dwelling residence ($150 value), which I later sold for $50 cash. Cid won two bottles of pretty decent wine and a couple of beer towels. Not bad for a charitable $25 donation.

Then it was into work for an hour and change to finish up the weekend, then home for a nap, a dinner of three meatballs covered in Parmesan cheese, and, of course, the blog update. LOL

UPDATED GUAM PICS
• Take a look over at DZER's Guam Pics for a bunch of new photos of Guam. Enjoy. :)

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• LeoPalace Resort is almost like a mini sports town. There are hotels, restaurants and condos, plus the finest sports facilities on Guam — pristine baseball fields, soccer fields, golf courses, tennis courts, Olympic-size swimming pools, track and field, workout facilities and more. Several Olympic teams — including U.S. Swimming — have already reserved space to do training and time-zone acculturation for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

a quick roundup of yesterday ...

Wasn't feeling too well yesterday, which is why I went with what was a pretty barebone post, at least for me. Actually been feeling sick the last couple of days, but yesterday I was kind of woozy feeling and just out of it.

Despite that, I managed to get a shitload of errands done:

• Went to a bank and deposited money for my mom.

• Checked my post office box after a long dry spell — catalogs, bills and that's it. :(

• Mailed off a package of special cookies to a special someone. Aren't I sweet?

• Dropped off videos a day before they started costing me "restocking fees."

• Went to the store, bought cold medicine ... and a golf glove (realized I was out at the last golf outing).

• Came home, took medicine, slept from 7 p.m. to about midnight. Woke up feeling a little better, but went back to bed a couple hours later, again with the help of more cold medicine. Could have woken up early — several different times — but my philosophy is when sick, sleep. Also, I'm a lazy bastard, so maximum sleeping time always rocks my little casbah.

Feeling a little better today, but probably going to go find lunch in a few minutes and it likely will be a nice chicken soup of some kind.

Bonus news: I get to play golf for free tomorrow, thanks to a company sponsorship thing in some fundraising tournament. Yay! I'll remember to bring the camera and try to take lotsa pics.

me no likee ...

Stolen from kathi, DZER's list of LEAST favorites:

• Color: Ecru … hate the way it looks and sounds. Bleah.

• Time of Day: 6-9 a.m.; me and mornings don't get along too well.

• Day of Week: Thursday — long story.

• Month: April … taxes, need I say more?

• Holiday: St. Patrick’s Day … I mean really, what other ethnic group gets a “national” holiday. He didn’t even do anything in America; he drove the snakes out of Ireland. Why don't we celebrate St. Augustine? Or any other saint? Sorry Madame X and Murphy, but I just don't get it.

• Food: Sashimi. I'm not a big fan of fish, but if I have to eat it, it's gotta be cooked. I do like some sushi, but none of it involving raw or semi-raw fish. Fucking bleah.

• Movie Genre: Elizabethan English crap (Sense and Sensability, Pride and Prejudice, etc.) What's weird is one of my favorite movie genres is modern English romantic comedies and action flicks (Notting Hill, Love Actually, Transporter, Snatch, etc.).

• Actor: Keanu Reeves — the man could play Pinoccio because he's so wooden. His only good role — Ted, from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. And don't give me the "Matrix" arguments. Those movies were good and fun (at least the first one was), but not because of Keanu. Two words: "Little Buddha."

• Actress: Andie McDowell ... the female version of Keanu. Only decent movie she's been in was "Four Weddings and a Funeral," and it would have been SO much better without her. Two words: "Green Card."

• Film: Sweet November. Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle was that bad! Keanu + Charlize + near-prostitution + anger management + cancer = please gouge my brain out.

• T.V. Program: Any soap opera or Springer-like show.

• Sport: Ice Skating … the only sport that chicks love more than guys. Seriously ... bad dancing to bad music ... on ice? And fake skimpy outfits, with nude-colored fabric instead of just nude skin.

• Animal: Most humans. Seriously. The vast majority of us suck big-time.

• Character Trait: Hypocrisy, bigotry

• Body Part: Teeth ... because mine are in such bad shape. *sigh*

• Piece of Clothing: Socks and shoes … I’d go barefoot all the time if I could

• Music: New Age — Tesh, Yanni, etc. I'd rather listen to neophyte music students at their first recital.

• Game: Love ... 'nuff said.

• State To Drive Through: Oklahoma ... flat and boring ... like the girl I sat next to in 6th grade (ba-dum-dum!)

• Sound: Alarm clock ... cursed be the persistent buzzing that forces me out of bed.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• My least favorite thing about Guam: How far away it is from pretty much everywhere else ...

every DZER's working for the weekend ...

OK, here's a special treat for all of you DZER fans out there (8.4 and counting!). Instead of my normal Half-Nekkid Thursday treatment — which is usually a view of my face, my brilliant blue eyes and my topless self — I thought I would share a picture of the DZER in his native environment.

The office.

And yes, this is the look I usually have while working on my computer. Intense. Attentive. Focused. Mad that I'm stuck inside an office building. LOL


To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:


Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The sun set on Guam today at 6:33 p.m. Want to see what it looked like? Head on over to DZER's Guam Pics to find out!

"Pacing through the forest,
Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy."

— As You Like It

Well, truth be told I didn't go pacing through any forest.

I went to Shirley's Coffee Shop, the Tamuning branch, for lunch.

Good lunch. Nothing fancy, nothing costly, just something that really hit the spot. I had one of my favorite comfort foods — meatloaf with steamed rice sprinkled with soy sauce. Mmmm ...

Now that I think about it, I should have ordered another to go ... then tomorrow I could have enjoyed cold meatloaf sammiches for lunch. Rats.

too early ...

I'm awake four hours before I really HAVE to be.

Just woke up. No reason. Well, I did have to pee, but even that could have waited a while. Did sleep straight for about 5 hours, which is a little longer than usual, so maybe that's it. My body is ready to be up after such a sustained bit of sleep.

But my mind isn't. Not really. Even though I'm not groggy or numb — I'm actually quite lucid and clear — I just know that I shouldn't be awake right now. I have no golf or early morning meeting that requires me to be up right now. No pressing phone calls to make or take.

And so ... back to bed. To sleep ... perchance to dream.

Yeah, I know that's not original ... but it doesn't make it any less true.

the last time I ...

... ate cereal was yesterday, for a late-night snack. I had a big bowl of Cocoa Krispies with a banana sliced in. This is my favorite way to eat my favorite cereal.

... checked my post office box was more than two weeks ago. Hope I haven't missed anything important ... and am confident that I haven't, which is sad.

... talked to my mom on the phone was more than three weeks ago. I know, I know — I'm a bad son. I don't talk to her often enough, and she's almost always the one who calls me.

... spoke to any of my two brother or two sisters, on the phone or in person, was ... fuck, it's been a long while. I don't consider myself to be a bad brother, though — I guess I'm just not all that big on family closeness. Hell, I spent the better part of my life with all of them. I think I fulfilled my quota, pretty much.

... went to a strip club was before Lent. I was tempted to go last night, but ended up deciding not to go.

... kissed a woman was the last time I went to a strip club. Heh.

... slept the whole night through was ... I can't remember that either.

... flew on an airplane was early November 2001, coming back to Guam from Hawaii. I was there to serve as man of honor for my best friend, Barbara, who was getting married for the second time.

... wrote anything that I really put my soul into was ... hmm ... probably something on here a few months ago. Couldn't pinpoint it though. Good luck if you feel like poking through my archives.

... someone inspired me to write something was back in late December. It was a short erotica piece.

... slept in really good was Saturday. I didn't bother getting out of bed till almost 1:30 a.m.

... drove around the island was about 5 years ago. I've been thinking of doing it again soon, if for no other reason that to fill up my camera with images of Guam for DZER's Guam Pics.

... went to the movies was a couple weeks back. I watched "Failure to Launch." It was utterly predictable, but still kinda cute ... and not something one had to think about too much while watching. The best part of the movie, to me, was Zooey Deschanel. She's a cutie.

... heard someone who's not related to me say "I love you" was ... fuck. That's fucking sad. Holy shit. It can't have been that fucking long, can it? Fuck me, but yes it can. Fuck. And no, I'm not telling you how long it's been.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam's northernmost village is Yigo. It's pronounced "gee-go" or, if you're really into the accent, "dzee-goo."

a little sun, a little pun ...

As many (six or seven) of you know, I went out and played a little golf Sunday.

It was cloudy and overcast all day, which is my excuse for not remembering to put on suntan lotion. Not smart. When pasty, big white boy goes out to play golf in the tropical weather, visible sun or not, the end result is usually sunburn. And that's exactly what happened.

The photo doesn't do much justice to my redness, which on the head was partially mitigated by the hat and the shades. As you can see below, my arms fared a bit worse. I'm hoping that it won't take too long for the sting to go away and for it to brown out a bit. This is the kind of situation that makes me envious of my younger brother. He would spend the day at the beach, come home bright red, but wake up in the morning a bronzed, tannish hue. The fucker.

Hell, it's just lucky I wore long pants instead of shorts. The last time I wore shorts while going out to golf and got sunburned on the legs, it was a painful few days in the office, having to wear long pants over it. Ouch!

Once I wore a straw hat that wasn't tightly woven ... yep, check-marked sunburned head.

The worse sunburn story I have is one day I played golf without a hat — yep, it was overcast and cloudy, so I didn't put anything on at all. Crispy red. And then, a couple days later, I wasn't thinking and lathered up my skull and pulled the razor down my scalp ... mother funkydellic!! Holy crap did it hurt ... and even worse, I had to finish shaving the skull, or else walk around with just this big notch in the fuzziness ... LOL

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:
I'm a wordsmith. As a writer, I just love words — in all shapes and sizes. I love the perfect word in the perfect place, and the inspired vocabulary in an unexpected place.

I also love puns, as many of you know. Also, as many of you don't know, I'm sure. Hell, some of you know!

Hope you all enjoy the following as much as I did ... even though I've seen several of these before:

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet.

One says "I've lost my electron."

The other says "Are you sure?"

The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, " I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan.

Years latter, Juan sends a pricture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins! Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.

He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so … thereby proving that Hugh — and only Hugh — can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) … a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

Heh.

That last one was bad.

OK ... ALL of them were bad ... LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The traditional Chamorro soother for a sunburn is homemade coconut oil, which not only feels good when it's put on, but it leaves you smelling all nice and coconutty.

a day at the golf course ...

Sunday. Ah, what a day. Not much better than golf on the weekend (OK, yes, sex I get it, geeze! Well, I don't get sex, but I get what you guys ... nevermind). Oh, except FREE golf! Yeah baby!! And after two nights of big poker tourneys! Heh!!

Yes, I finally got back out on the course after a long absence — I haven't played since before Christmas for sure, and probably several weeks before that. I didn't play all that well, but I did have some good moments. A few more times out and I'll have my swing back, such as it is, as well as some of my lost stamina and endurance. When I get back into "golf shape" — which isn't really in shape, per se LOL — I'm sure I'll get my game back.

This Sunday of golf was one of breaking stuff in. To the right are my new course kicks — Footjoys that I got for a steal price right before Christmas. It's also the first time I hit these golf clubs, which I bought myself as a Christmas present. Also the first time to putt with the Odyssey Two-Ball Putter that I got for Christmas. Damn I love this putter!! Once I get a little more used to it, I know I'll be holing more putts (and yes, I'm aware I used the word "Christmas" way too many times in this paragraph).

This was the kind of day it was. A little cloudy and overcast, but not a bad day, all things considered. The course was in really great shape.

We (me and my work pal Cid) got rained on for the last part of the first hole, the first part of the second hole, and then now and again during a couple holes on the back nine. It was breezy but not too windy, though a few gusts kinda messed up a few of our shots.

The above picture is me teeing off on the first hole on our back nine ... or, rather, getting ready to tee off. Cid took a lot of shots from a lot of different angles. For the one above, he laid down on his stomach in front of the ladies tee about 20-30 yards in front of me. I hit a low screamer off the tee, which went about 20 feet over his head but looked a lot closer than that! LOL

The picture to the right gives you a better look at my golfing attire for the day. I wish I could be the snappy and snazzy dresser in plus-fours and a tam and sweatervest, but first of all I don't look good in that crap and, second, it's too freaking hot to wear any of that crap. So this is me in too-big slacks — I still need to buy some that fit me better since losing weight the last several months — and a somewhat loose polo, as well as sunglasses and straw hat.

Oh ... and the carts ARE mandatory at this course, as they are at most Guam courses. So no, "Why didn't you walk it, fucker?" LOL


The swing is ugly, but the course was in great condition and the day was pretty nice too — not super gorgeous, but more than fine.

Here I am trying to sink a put to "save" bogey. Driver into the fairway sand, blast to short and right of green, wedge shot that I didn't catch into the sand, blast to 15 feet. And no, I didn't make it. It stayed out there to the left of the hole (from my side LOL), not breaking one bit. Luckily I only had a shortie after that to get my double bogey.

I did start off the day very well with the new putter. On our second hole, I hit a long driver to the center of the fairway, then perfect 5-wood to pin-high on the right side of the green. From there it was 12 feet of pure beautiful loveliness and luck. LOL ... I hit it well and on-line and it wobbled back and forth, finally dying on the left side of the hole, where it tumbled into the cup! Yeah, baby!! Birdie on the second hole!! Woohoo!!

At the end of 18 I was bushed, but not so overly tired that I felt like I was dying, as used to be the norm when I was still smoking. I just have to make a commitment to try to get out on the courses once or twice a month.

And probably start walking.

Bleah. Exercise sucks!

Wanna see some more pics?
Oh ... and some new pictures up over at DZER's Guam Pics, including some flowers and stuff from right outside the clubhouse at the course where I played today. Also some great shots of Hagåtña from high up, some sunset shots and an old Spanish fort. Check it out!!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Many Japanese fly in to Guam to play golf for two or three days, squeezing in two rounds a day if at all possible. Why? Because it's cheaper to fly here for several, stay in a hotel, pay inflated tourist prices and even rent clubs than it is to play most Japanese courses — if you can somehow manage to get a reservation to play on one of them!

you can always procrastinate tomorrow ...

For those who aren't aware, I have been temporarily spared from having to move from my comfy, big, 2-bedroom, chea-ass rent apartment. I won't have to move until about June or July.

My apartment is the second-floor unit on the left there. The beat-up Nissan Pathfinder there belongs to the only other tenant in this whole 18-apartment unit. He lives on the first floor, on the right. I don't even know what his name is. We've said, "Hey" and "What's up?" a few times, but that's about it.

That balcony is SO under utilized. Maybe I should buy a charcoal grill just so I have an excuse to go out there now and then. I used to go out there a lot when I first moved in ... to smoke, enjoy the evening air, etc.

Anyway, I have started some work to prepare. I've thrown out a ton of stuff — old crap I don't need and won't need. I have boxed up some things that I will be taking with me, whether it's to move to a new apartment or a new continent. I've also taken some stuff and cleaned it up and set it aside for some sort of yard sale in the near future.

But I still have a lot of other stuff to go through, and more things to clean up and sort through for resale. I did get rid of my other digital camera for a decent price. I'm actually surprised by the assortment of knick-knacks and bric-a-brac (and yes, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to use the term "bric-a-brac") that I have saved up. So many candleholders, picture frames, glassware and decorative pieces.

I think I have a chance to make some real money with this yard sale. LOL

I also have so many fucking shelves!! Plastic shelves, metal shelves, wooden shelves, fake-wood shelves. Something like 20 shelving units! What the hell!! How the hell did I amass so many shelves? Big and small, some medium, some wide, some thin and narrow ... it's amazing how many shelves I have.

I need to dedicate a weekend to getting off my lazy ass and getting some of this work done, once and for all. This weekend was impossible — two big poker tournaments. Tomorrow I have golf (YAY!!!) and then probably will have to work part of the evening.

So ... to make sure I'm all rested up ... I'm going to bed "early" .... just past 2 a.m. ... LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
The forecast for Sunday here on Guam, for my golf game: Very humid with times of clouds and sun. Winds from the ENE at 10 mph. High: 84° F RealFeel: 94° F. Yikes ... I'd better double the amount of water I'd planned to take.