what a total steal ...

So after work on Friday I head to Cost-U-Less, one of those warehouse shopping kinda stores but without membership prices, to get some groceries for the weekend. I only intended to get some Pepsi, chicken breasts and salad fixings.

While there, I noticed that the store had set up a returned-products section. You know, stuff people bought and then brought back to the store, usually with complaints about something not working. Anyway, they have this Canon MP130 — it's a printer, scanner and copier. It originally sold in the store for about $159 and was in the section with a price tag of $60, with "doesn't print" written in tape on the package.

Well, I've been looking for a scanner, and most of them aren't $60. So I figured what the hell, I'll buy it strictly for the scanning ability. That way I can get all my old pics in a digital version.

Well, guess what? The scanning works great ... and so does the printing. I don't know what kind of idiot bought it and couldn't get it to work. Maybe they had a PC and something with the software didn't work ... I dunno, but I thank him or her, because now I have a kick-ass office machine on my desk that only cost me $60! LOL

Also, because grainne initially thought the previous computer pics I put up from my office were my home pics (btw, darlin' ... of COURSE it was a ViewSonic LOL), I now include a pic of my eMac at home. It's a nice little machine, though I'm hoping to be rich enough soon enough for my own G5, with cinematic flat-panel monitor ... and a PowerBook for portability. That's probably a long way off, so I'll enjoy my eMac in the meantime.

Don't try to read the Post-It on the computer either; it's been blurred with Photoshop to prevent that. LOL ... if anyone CAN identify the words on it, I'll send you $10 in Guam money! Also note the details of my cell phone (so 2002), watch ($29.95) and pager (buzz me baby). Oh, and that bundle of stuff on the left of the computer, attached to the computer desk's hutch? It's a bunch of bulldog clips of various sizes. Sometimes I like to take the clips and ... well ... that's another blog ... and probably for DZEROTICA to boot ... ;)

It was just hair yesterday ...

It might surprise some of you loyal blog readers (up to 6.5, according to the latest Gallup polls), but the DZER was not born bald. Umm ... wait a minute. I WAS born bald! No, I wasn't, really.

I was one of those kids with a few wispy blonde hairs — which quickly grew into a crazy and mangled mop. Growing up, I always had a very full, thick head of hair. This photo is from when I was about 2 I think, with my sister Connie on the back steps of our Rome, N.Y. house that I totally don't remember.

When I was really young, my brother I and sported crew cuts, but they had to be done every couple of weeks — that's how fast my hair grew. When I started going to the barber, they would use the thinning scissors — those monster teeth looking ones — to hack away at the thickness before they would actually cut my hair.

When I was in junior high and high school, I wore my hair as long as I could get away with. My dad WAS an Air Force senior master sergeant, so my brothers and I would get VERY strong hints to get a haircut when our gorgeous tresses reached a certain length.

Once I was out of high school though, even when living with my parents, my dad let me do what I wanted to with my hair. I became a man in the house the day when I was 17) HE bummed a cigarette from ME while we worked together on my beat-up piece-of-shit 1976 Ford Pinto. Yes, it was a very male bonding moment — a father and son, all dirty and greasy with a carburetor all torn up, sharing cigs. *sniff*

Anyway, that didn't keep him from making fun of me — such as the time I tried to get the sides of my hair dyed blonde, to make my semi-mohawkish top stand really out. They woman put the stuff on, let it set ... it didn't take. She repeated. I ended up with a reddish tint to the sides, which led my dad to ask me, when I got home, what clown college I'd signed up with. I TRIED to find a pic of that debacle, but I seem to be missing a passel of photographs. I'm sure I still have them; I just need to find where I put them.

So here's a pic of me from freshman year in college. This was taken at the Great America in New Jersey. I went up to visit some high school friends for my spring break trip. I think this was taken in front of one of the fountains in the place. I remember I only went on a couple rides, but I did win TWO giant stuffed animals. So did my friend Charlie. Only my friend's sister's boyfriend — the superstar jock college football player — failed to perform. She got one of my two. That part wasn't relative to my story, but if you haven't noticed by now, loyal readers (those who aren't loyal or are just new here and aren't loyal yet, make sure you read the archives — it's all just as amazingly funny and well-written as this!!) Anyway, take a look. That's a LOT of hair, especially when you compare it to what I have, or rather don't have, now.

This next one is from a year or two down the road, at the wedding reception of one of my friends. Again, still a lot of hair. In fact, I have a picture of it from later in the night, when we went out, which makes me look like I'm wearing a big box of stand-up hair. And no, you don't get to see that one! LOL

So what happened? Did the DZER (and yes, I'm getting off on the third-person reference) start losing his hair? Is he suffering from male pattern baldness?

No. to both. I still could have a full head of hair if I so chose. What happened was this: I got tired of dealing with an unruly mop of hair. I had to wash it daily, and had to use massive amounts of head & shoulders to control the dandruff. I had combs. I had brushes. I had not only shampoo, but conditioner. Hell, I had PRODUCT! Ack!! Yep, I had mousse and styling gel ... and hair spray. It was a pain in the ass to keep my hair looking good ... plus, it was hot under all that hair here on Guam.

So I started wearing it shorter. I left it a little long at the top and buzzed the sides. That progressed to something of a flattop/crewcut deal. At the time, I was still a military dependent and thus going to the military barbers, so I said "fuck it" and went with the high and tight cut. That lasted quite awhile.

Then, one day, in the barbershop, I again said "fuck it" and told the barber to shave it ALL off. No, not just with the clippers down to the nub — go there and then break out the straight razor and SHAVE IT to the scalp! Luckily for me, I have a pretty decent looking head. I've seen people shave their head, usually guys losing their hair, and they have ugly skulls — badly shaped, or with some kind of leftover cro-magnon thing going on. Or their head just looks ... wrong on top of their body. It's hard to explain, but you know it when you see it.

So now you know the story of DZER and his hair — or lack of it ... on his head, you dirty thinking freaks!!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Ancient Chamorro males wore something of a topknot; they kep their heads shaved close except for a long bunch of hair on the top, back of the skull.

the ecosystem of the dzer ...

There have been some pretty deep and intense blogging in the blogosphere (I'm really detesting myself for the frequency with which I use this word) over the past several days, which has translated into some pretty deep and intense comments.

Basically, I'm spent. I've shot my intellectual and emotional load. I held off for as long as I could, but then ended up splooging my thoughts all over the place — hot, gooey ramblings of mind-seed spurting out ...

... wow. what the fuck was that? I think it's my subconcious telling me to finish some of these erotica stories I've been working on.

Speaking of which, if you haven't been to DZEROTICA in a while, you will find some updates there, including a very naughty Santa piece. No, there are NO boundaries I will not cross in my filthy writings. But isn't that what it's all about? Stay tuned for my Easter Bunny Fucks Like A Rabbit story, and, of course, it wouldn't be St. Patrick's Day without Leprechaun porno, hey?

Also ... more stunningly beautiful pics of Guam on DZER's Guam Pics!!

Now that's a burger!
Did you know that Burger King now makes a TRIPLE Whopper with cheese? Oh yes, my friends — you've enjoyed the hearty tastiness of the Whopper; you've somehow managed to finish off the over-indulgence that is the Double Whopper ... but are you ready for the famine-ending gluttony of the Triple Whopper?

I was. But, to be honest, I didn't have any fries or onion rings with it. Just the monster burger and a Coke. It was more than a meal; it was an orgy of beef-tastic beef-itude. My only regret? I didn't ask for bacon on it. Next time, Triple Whooper ... NEXT time!

Getting to know me ...
Some people who read my blog — but don't comment here (yes, grainne, I'm calling you out again!) have suggested that I post some pics that give you an insight into me and my life. I don't know why anyone would want to see that crap, but I decided to acquiesce. Why? Because I'm a giver, a pleaser and I pretty much have a hard time telling any woman "no."

So here's the first sneak peek. There may be more later as my apartment becomes more clean and able to be displayed for the world to see. Speaking of which, this is my apartment building, or at least part of it. My apartment is the second-story one on the left there. Not too revealing, but it's the best I can do with an exterior shot.

Some apartment facts: I've been living here about five years. My rent is obscenely low for a two-bedroom apartment in a decent neighborhood (mostly; the transsexual hookers live a street over but don't come this way) in central Guam. I'd tell you how much I pay but then you'd want to shoot me.

It is two bedrooms, and one of the bedrooms is fairly spacious. I have had some plumbing problems, but I think they're fixed now. I never really use the living room or the second bedroom. I'm almost always in the main bedroom, with some time spent in the kitchen area and the bathroom.

There is only one other tenant living here right now. The main landlord cleared the apartment building to renovate it, but couldn't get me out because I rent from someone who actually owns the apartment. As such, my door and balcony railing got changed, but I didn't get the full interior renovation that other apartments did. I think they ran short of cash as the apartments on the other end aren't fully finished, but the main landlord did move in one or two guys into the bottom right apartment. They are military and quiet and sometimes are gone for weeks at a time.

And this is my desk at work. Right now I use a G4 Mac, but I will have a new G5 once they get the new Mac OS X upgraded for us put into all the machines. Then I will have TRUE power.

On the tower is my little collection of things. There is the Brian Urlacher action figure (Go BEARS!), the Wolverine™ bobble-head figure, the nuts-and-bolts metal golfer figure, and my miniature Nebraska football helmet (Go HUSKERS!!). Also there is a cigarette butt on a golf tee, from a photo shoot in which I took a swing at a lit cigarette on a golf tee with my monster John Daly Hippo driver (it was about how much better my wind and stamina was on the golf course after giving up smoking).

OK, there you go. A little peek into my environment and thus life. I'm guessing most of you just scanned through the crap up above and didn't really read it. I don't blame you. Not one fucking bit. LOL. But, as punishment — not RGFOTD for you today. Not that anyone's commented on the RGFOTD in weeks and weeks though, so :oP

SNAIL MAIL CHRISTMAS CARDS!!
None of you untrusting bastards will be getting one this year. Wait, check that. Sass will get a card. And Chrissie will get a card, though she always gets a card ... and usually a present or three. Oh, and grainne will as well, once the U.S. Postal Service finally delivers what she sent.

The rest of you? You had your chance. You lose, you untrusting bastards and bastardettes!! Heh.

tnt ... ka-blam!

Well, on Guam the hour is fast approaching. Yep, not all that long from now, it will be midnight here. That means it will be Thursday. And that means, as all good (and bad) blogger guys and gals know by now (and if you don't, how uncool are you? Answer: Very!), Thursdays means Half-Nekkid Thursdays!

On Guam, Half-Nekkid Thursday starts before most of you are beginning your Whatever Wednesdays™. And for me, your Half-Nekkid Thursday flops well into my For Fuck's Flippin' Freaky Fritada Fridays™.

The reason for all this meaningless meandering? Well, as faithful blog readers (up to five or six now! woohoo!!) know, I am a fat guy. That's not a value judgment — it's a medical fact. Well, medically, technically, the term is "morbidly obese" which translates from the Latin to "Scary Fuckin' Fat." Anyway, this text should show at the top of your browser. The HNT — which just might be TNT, or Too Nekkid Thursday — pic will be a little lower down. If you have a queasy stomach, or if you don't want to be involuntarily subjected to a large, half-nekkid man, you have the option of getting out now.

There. Verbal warning delivered.

Without further ado: DZER's got back ... a BIG back!!



As an added "bonus" (Warning: the word "bonus" might not mean something good that's extra and free, depending on your personal definitions), I've included a closer pic of the hat (I love the Big Daddy gear) and the spiked collar. Consider it a little extra post-Halloween thang. Oh, and forgive the smarmy grin. I was filled with the spirit of smarm. Or is it more a smirk? Hmm ... a question for the philosophers.

If it looks, smells and tastes like meat ...
I think I've discussed this before in my blog — WAY back in the early days (couple months ago) when pretty much no one but me read my blog (maybe one or two others), but it came up again today at the office, so I'd thought I'd re-rant about it. Here goes:

What is up with vegetarian food that's made to look like, smell like and even taste like meat?

Now if you're a vegetarian, that's your personal choice. I don't hold it against you. I don't begrudge your decision to not eat meat. It's cool. I don't understand it, really, but I get that it's your life and you can live it like you wanna live it. I'm magnanimous like that. LOL

But if you've decided to give up meat, why would you want to eat food that looks like meat, that smells like meat and tastes like meat? Mushroomloaf that looks and tastes like meatloaf. Veggie burgers that look and taste like hamburgers. Soydogs that taste and look like hotdogs.

If you really want the taste and texture and look of meat ... how about you eat meat? Why torment yourself with the hypocrisy? Why not just cook a bunch of mushrooms in a pot, or put sliced vegetables on bread, or slice up some tofu onto a bun?

It's like a guy who decides — for whatever reason — that he will no longer have sex with women. So he mostly sleeps with men, but every once in a while he bangs a post-op transsexual. Looks like a woman, fucks like a woman ... but it's really a man he's fucking, so it doesn't count. WTF?

Oh, and another thing. If you're vegetarian, fine. But please don't try to preach to me, to convert me. I don't like people of some different faith trying to actively convert me to their faith, and don't want you to try your best to sway me to the vegetable side of the force. Also, don't try to convince me that I'm murdering poor cows, chickens, pigs, etc., in an effort to turn me off meat. It won't work.

Look, I don't try to convince you that humans, like bears (bonus trivia) are born omnivores. It's proven by our teeth. Some teeth are meant for tearing and rending flesh. Some teeth are meant for chewing up vegetables. We can live on mostly meat diets. We can live on mostly vegetable diets. Basically, we're very adaptable to the kind of food we can eat and not dependent on any one major kind of food source. But I don't shove that scientific evidence down your throats and make you swallow it like a big hunk of deep-fried beef. So please don't try to cram yer militant vegetarianism down my craw either.

HEAD'S UP!!
• If this is your first trip here in a couple days, please feel free to scroll on down. This was a four-post Wednesday. Either I had a lot to say, or I was bored. You choose.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The diet of the ancient Chamorros was one primarily consisting of seafood, fruits and vegetables. Why? Because the only mammal indigenous to Guam and the Marianas, other than humans, is the fruit bat. And yes, they ate those when they could. And still do (not the endangered ones. OK, sometimes the endangered ones). It's actually tasty ... once you get past the fur.

mmm ... sloppy joes redux

came home for lunch today.

reheated the sloppy joes from near the end of my BEST WEEK EVER.

Damn ... they're just as good this time. Great leftover food.

Anyone want a bite? ;)

Morality Test ...

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION
You are in New Orleans and there is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST
Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's President George W. Bush.
At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options, you can save the life of the president or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most famous men.

THE QUESTION
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer …





Would you select high-contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

a question for the babes, female and male ...

What's it like to be hot?

To be desired and lusted after by just about every member of the opposite sex, and even some from the same gender? To walk into a room and see the heads swivel; to stop conversation dead while people leer and ogle? To have people salivate over a pic that you post and comment about how "hawt" or sexy you are?

Is it always nice to get that kind of attention? Or does it sometimes drain you or become tiring? Does it ever become a "burden?" I'm guessing that happens, but never to the point that you wish you were "normal," huh?

Do you ever worry about what happens when/if the looks go? If you get into a disfiguring accident, or just get old? Do you wonder how different it will be to only "look good for your age" or to actually be more normal, to be non-hot? To not be a babe or stud any longer? Will you do the plastic surgery thing, maybe get a lift or some botox treatments?

Or do you just not worry about that at all, and let the future take care of the future?

Just wonderin' ...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ...

As I write this, there are just 53 days left until Christmas. That means there are only 52 days left to shop for Christmas. That’s a little more than seven weeks. That means three or four paydays, depending on when you get paid.

Wow. Look at how many of you froze up, clenched up, clammed up or just plain gave up.

Yes, the beginning of November means the countdown toward Christmas. It used to be signaled by Thanksgiving. The day after we gorged ourselves on turkey, mashed taters, gravy, stuffing/dressing (without raisins, oysters or anything else weird, dammit!), yams (blech), cranberry relish or gelatinous circles (double blech) and pumpkin pie — that used to be the day Christmas shopping “officially” started.

But not anymore. Weeks before Halloween started, some of the Christmas items went out on the floors of Kmart, Cost-U-Less and other retailers. Artificial trees. Fake garlands and wreaths of pine cones, mistletoe and fir branches. Shiny ornaments and strings of beads. Wrapping paper, ribbon and bows. Right next to the masks, fake blood and 10-pound bags of candy.

I’ve already jumped into the season. I have two new Santa hats for my Jingle George columns. I’m taking in the suit this week to get some minor alterations made. There will be a ton of new Jingle George photos taken at various points around Guam.

I bought miniature stockings — about 40 of them. And I’ve added tons more of wrapping supplies to my gift-wrap armory, including boxes of all shapes and sizes. I had tons of stuff left over from last year, and yet still can’t resist getting more, especially when I see cool new items.

I really should consider opening a side business doing special quality gift-wrapping for others. It would be a way to cash in on something I already like doing.

Ooh. I need new super-sharp scissors. And some more tape. And wax in various colors (don’t ask ;) …heh). Time to hit the craft stores, I think. So much to do, so much to do … and so little time to do it. Oh, you may THINK there’s a lot of time, but it’s really not. And there’s less and less of it with every passing minute, hour and day!

I’ve already bought parts of some people’s Christmas presents and I have some ideas of what to get a lot of the the people on my list. Yes, I already have my list — though I still need to check it twice.

I’m also stocked up on Christmas cards — though I do need to get some holiday stamps — and am updating the card list so everyone who is supposed to get a Christmas card gets one.

So here’s your chance to get a Christmas card from Guam, where America’s Day Begins (and where Christmas gets its official U.S. kickoff. See more at the Random Guam Fact Of The Day).

Anyway, back to the thread of my post: If you want to get a personal Christmas card from DZER, or even Duane — or both — it’s very simple; not hard at all.

All you have to do is e-mail me your name (blogger identity is fine if that’s all you want to give out, you untrusting souls) and a mailing address. It could be your work address if you don’t feel safe giving out your home address. It can be a P.O. box. Hell, I’ll send it “general delivery” to your post office if that’s what you want. If it helps, Guam is about 6,000 miles from Los Angeles, 7,961 miles from New York City — kind of hard to do any quality stalking from that distance.

If all you’re willing to give out is an e-mail address in hopes of getting an electronic, over-the-Internet Christmas card, good luck — I’m notoriously bad about sending e-mail!

Send me an e-mail with the appropriate information to dzer@teleguam.net and I will guarantee you a Christmas card. Not a present (well, maybe some of you), but a card … complete with my autograph.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam is the very first place in the United States that Santa visits come Christmas. When you people are still waking up to your Christmas Eve morning, we are getting presents from Jolly Old St. Nick. Before you can even go to sleep with visions of sugarplums dancing in your heads, we’re ripping open presents filled with great things from Kris Kringle. Heh.

10 to 1, baby, 1 to 10 ...

almost forgot: this is stolen from linny's blog.

10 Favorites:
• Favorite Season: Football.
• Favorite Sport: See above.
• Favorite Time: That part of the lazy Sunday where you wake up and realize you don’t have to get up, so you go back to sleep.
• Favorite Month: December — It’s all about Christmas, baby!!!
• Favorite Actor: Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Will Farrell (he kills me!).
• Favorite Actress: Catherine Keener, Lauren Bacall, Meg Ryan (that magical smile … *sigh*).
• Favorite Ice Cream: Ice Cream Sandwich … fuckin’ LOVE those!
• Favorite Food: Meat and rice — too many varieties to mention.
• Favorite Drink: Coffee is probably my favorite drink, but it would be closely followed by Assam Black Tea. I actually drinkl much more Assam in a given day than coffee — a LOT more.
• Favorite Place: Out on the golf course.

9 Currents:
• Current Feeling: Blasé and ambivalent.
• Current O/S: Mac OS X — Tiger! Rawr!
• Current Windows Open: ICQ, Yahoo! Messenger, Microsoft Word, Blogger post.
• Current Drink: Big, tall glass of Coke over ice.
• Current Time: 11:40 p.m. Monday night.
• Current Mobile(s) Used: Motorola phone, GuamCell is my provider.
• Current Show on TV: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (he rocks da casbah, in case ya didn’t know).
• Current Thought: What the hell should I write as my current thought? Other thoughts: I'm hungry. I wonder if I should have a few more potato chips or one of those Korean pearapples (see the 5 category below).
• Current Clothes: Jeans, unbuttoned and unzipped … wanna see? ;)

8 Firsts:
• First Nickname: Bulldozer.
• First Kiss: “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night (And Party Every Day)” … oh! I get it … umm … some girl in 3rd grade.
• First Crush: The girl in 3rd grade. Her best friend pushed me down the stairs over it … and later me and the best friend attended high school together and became good friends! LOL
• First Computer: My personal one was a Mac Performa — the Edsel of Macs. Our family bought a … what the fuck was it … one of those ones that you connected to your TV. All I know is it sucked ass and I never touched it.
• First Vehicle I drove: My Uncle Tony’s tractor on his farm in Missouri.
• First Job: I was a youthful entrepreneur. Was a Red Cross-certified babysitter on Kadena Air Force Base in Japan and also had a business with my friend “Jughead” (I shit you not!) selling iced tea to construction workers on the base. Oh, and we also cut grass and trimmed lawns in the summer. Damn I was a busy beaver!!
• First Movie: If I remember right, it was “The Big Bus,” at an outdoor theater on NCTAMS here on Guam with the family.
• First Pet: Princess, a daschund that liked to steal lollipops and loved Kool-Aid in her water bowl.
• First Shave: Junior high … but it was only like three hairs. Even know I can go for days without really NEEDING to shave.

7 Lasts:
• Last Chai (Tea): Screw that crap. It sucks ass!
• Last Movie: “Elizabeth” town just this weekend. I liked it a lot, even though I broke down during it a couple times because of scenes regarding the main character making preparations for his dad’s funeral.
• Last Time I Drove: Just about 30 minutes ago.
• Last Time Shaved: Can’t remember … I actually prefer to blow money by going to a barber shop and getting my head and face shaved … one of my little indulgences. LOL
• Last Web Site Visited: Yahoo!
• Last Software Installed: Upgraded my iTunes; last new program — JussDrop.
• Last Pill I Had: Some aspirin last week.

6 Have You Evers:
• Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yep.
• Have You Ever Been Drunk: Not recently.
• Have You Ever Climbed a Tree: I’ve climbed more trees than most people … something about Guam and the jungle does that to you.
• Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes … you gotta love the strippers!
• Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast: Gunfire; I’ve been hunting and have relatives with lotsa guns.
• Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: I highly doubt it, at least not from a romantic standard.

5 Things:
• Things You Can Hear Right Now: Television, fan, air conditioner, fingers tapping keyboard, dog barking outside.
• Things On Your Bed: About 15 pillows, clothes, wrapping paper, Santa hat, comforter.
• Things You Ate Today: Candy corn (it’s Halloween!), spicy barbeque chicken, steamed white rice, Cocoa Krispies with sliced bananas, potato chips.
• Things in Mind: I don’t wanna work tomorrow; I have to write the first Jingle George; This list is taking longer than I thought it would; I need images to go with this list; I need to replace the batteries in my digital camera.
• Things in your refrigerator: Assam Black Tea; Korean pearapples; cereal; salad fixings; four kinds of cheese.

4 Places You Have Been Today:
• The office.
• Korean restaurant.
• Supermarket.
• Paradise (but I’ve never been to me).

3 Things on your desk right now:
• eMac.
• Bills.
• Velocity lightweight moisturizer (surprised ya, didn’t I?).

2 Choices:
Black or White: Always black.
Hot or Cold: Usually cold.

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die:
• Thing? Does a person count? LOL Hmm … I would have to say, win a huge lottery. Heh.


Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• On Guam, it’s already November. Fuck. It’s fucking NOVEMBER!!! Where the hell did the year go?

Happy Halloween ... a day early

I'm not as into Halloween as I used to be, but I still like to dress up. Big shocker there, huh?

Stop the presses! Irrepressible ham likes to draw attention to himself!

So, without any further ado, let me present to you:

OK, here is the shirt I'm actually going to wear into work on Monday. Our company does some fun stuff for the holidays, and in recognition of Halloween, Monday is Black and Orange Day. Fun, huh?

One problem: I didn't have anything orange! I own plenty of black garments, but didn't have anything orange. Well, thanks to Kmart, I now do ... a plain orange T-shirt which I transformed — using masking tape, permanent black markers and my remarkable creativity — into a tummy jack-o'-lantern. Yeah, I could have just worn it as a plain orange shirt, but where's the fun in that? Oh, I also found a cool Big Daddy orange ball cap to top my outfit, which will be black shoes and socks, black pants and a black button-up shirt worn unbuttoned over the orange shirt. Ain't I the company fun guy?

After work, I get to head over to my godsons for Halloween fun time — I'll help pass out candy wearing this super-scary get-up. I'm still not up for roving around neighborhoods with candy-crazed children wanting to go to the next house and the next one and the next one. My lungs are improved, but not by THAT much!

We'll also have a nice little barbecue. I'm already hungry ... Ri and Steve have some of the best food on Guam.

Updates!!
• Check out the right side of the blog ... Right over there. See them? DZER's Blog Ads! Heh!

• For those who haven't been here at all this weekend, stroll on down for my weekend posts — a contest won, stripper kissed and a sex quiz — how can you beat that?

• I added a few new stories to DZEROTICA late last week, check them out.

• I added a BUNCH of new photos to my Guam Pics page, including some more very cool sunset photos.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day
• Guam, being mostly Catholic, observes All Soul's Day, a day after All Saint's Day and two days after Halloween. Families go to Mass, and visit the gravesites of relatives. Many spent a good part of the weekend cleaning up and sprucing the graves and surrounding areas.