I coulda been a contendah ...

In my sophomore year of high school, because of a stupid schoolyard brawl, I lost my shot at fulfilling my dream. I dislocated my shoulder trying to throw a guy I had picked up into a wall when he slipped out and my arm hit the concrete wall at an odd angle. In retrospect, it's probably lucky he slipped out, or I would have probably been arrested for assault or murder or something along those lines.

Anyway, for the next several years, my shoulder chronically would dislocate whenever I extended my arm past 90 degrees straight out to the side of my body — past 90 degrees up or back — and it would pop out of its socket. I dislocated it playing basketball, football, play fighting, rolling over in bed wrong, trying to avoid someone poking me.

That kind of chronic problem prevented me from entering the profession of my dreams, kept me from doing what I wanted to do for a living for most of my childhood, adolescence and teen years.

No, I didn't want to be a professional football player. I did want to play football at a top-level college, and wouldn't have said now if I did and then had been drafted, but what I really wanted to be was a wrassler.

Not a wrestler ... a wrassler.

I wanted to be a pro wrassler, like some of my favorites: Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, Bruno Sammartino, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, the Road Warriors, etc.

Yes, I know it's not REAL, but damn it always looked so fun and cool and dangerous and wild. I actually went to a few matches when living in Texas, as wrestling was huge then, way before the WWF (now WWE) and WCW became really huge. I got to meet a bunch of wrestlers, some who became famous in the bigger organizations laters.

Watching pro wrasslin' was a family event — we all loved it. My dad loved watching it, so did my brothers and sisters. Guam loves wrasslin' — it was great Saturday afternoon viewing.

But wrasslin' involves a lot of shoulder work — body slams, nelsons (both full and half), chicken wings, even basic thrown-into-ropes stuff. So I had to give up the dream.

Never would ...
... The Mighty DZER

stalk the rings and strike fear into the hearts of his opponents.

*sigh*

c'est la vie ...

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Chamorro word for "wrestling" is "áffulo'."

5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 1! ...

Guess what? New Year’s Day is further away than you think. Not a lot further, just a little bit.

You’ll have to hold off kissing someone for an entire second. That’s right; scientists have figured out that 2005 is short — by one second. So they’re gonna add one second to all the atomic clocks, as you may have seen on the wire news reports.

It’s a leap second. I guess they couldn’t wait around until the next leap year to get the whole thing sorted out.

The blame falls on the time it takes the Earth to orbit, which can be affected by ocean tides. Maybe it was the tsunami, or Hurricane Katrina that threw it off.

And it’s not the first time it’s been done. The first time a leap second was added as June 30, 1972, by the the U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology. What’s weird is that there’s an official international standard-settings agency charged with making sure we stay THAT on time — International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service.

Oh, did you also know that beyond Eastern, Central and Pacific Standard Time there is THE time standard? Coordinated Universal Time. Yep. Think anyone outside of Earth follows that standard? LOL Also, oddly enough, there have never been negative leap seconds, even though they are possible.

And now for something not completely different

Ugh. New Year’s Eve is quickly approaching. I don’t have plans, not really. And I really don’t WANT plans, I think. Co-workers are constantly asking what everyone’s plans are, if they’re going to parties, if they’re going to watch the fireworks, from what place are they going to watch the fireworks, is it safe from the incessant gunfire associated with the holiday? LOL

I think what I’m going to do is lounge around my favorite strip club. That way, not only will I get to watch gorgeous naked women, but I will be pretty much ensured of getting a smooch or three too boot … and the good kisses, with lots of stripper tongue and tit/ass gropes during the smooch! Heh.

NEW FEATURE!!
• Tired of missing out on all the fun by coming late to a new post on DZER’s Diatribe? Wish you knew exactly when a new post was made? Need extra crap filling up your e-mail inbox?

Well you’re in luck!! Check out the sidebar to the right. You can now SUBSCRIBE to DZER’s Diatribe! Get an e-mail alert every time I post!

Umm … just remember that I post kind of often. And sometimes I’ll see part of my post that I need to redo or fix, so I have to go back in and do that and then repost. So sometimes you might get 5 e-mail alerts about the same post. Now you can’t say you haven't been forewarned.

DZERette Alert!!
• The first rule of the DZERettes: You must always be ready and presentable for the DZER.
• The 6th rule of the DZERettes: Don’t post the DZER’s ass on your Web site or you will be spanked … unless you like being spanked, then you will get tickled … unless you like being tickled … then you will be stroked and petted … unless …

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam and the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas are in the Chamorro Standard Time Zone, which was just recently changed from “the middle of nowhere where them brown jungle people live,” or something similar...

additional suprise hnt ...

For those of you who DON'T already know, a second DZER HNT has been posted.

For those of you who are daring and adventurous enough, those who are thrill seekers in regards to fat semi-nekkidness, you can see the mighty crack at Chrissie's blog.

That evil, mean wench! LOL

I would post HER ass, but that wouldn't be revenge ... though it would increase the traffic to my site, I'm sure! LOL

But she will pay ... someday ... some how ... *maniacal cackling*