DZER makes a spectacles of himself ...

I got prescription glasses and my eyes are correct
Two times every year I go to have them checked
Per-fection's my selection, and I will select
And if it's not (per-fect) I will perfect
-- Run-DMC

Apparently, my last pair of glasses were ugly. Or, at least, they didn't suit me ... so I've been told recently by a number of people.

:oP to Chrissie and Madame X

So I set aside a bit from the last few poker winnings and went out and did something about it.

I'm sure there will be critic's of DZER's new specs. I also sure that women will continue to not make passes at a DZER in glasses.

But at least I got my prescription updated (right eye got a smidge worse).

And yes, they come in identical shape (though a different color) for my prescription sunglasses.

and yes, I preserved the blue eyes for the few who demand it ;)

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• If you are a bit cross-eyed, or have a lazy eye, the descriptive term in Chamorro is "kitan," pronounced "kee-tan."

The Tao of DZER

(with all apologies to Tao Te Ching)

In all instances of DZER, the DZER cannot help but be the DZER; except when the DZER is not the DZER, in which case he is not the DZER.

The DZER is the beginning of all DZERness, and the end.

Ever unDZERish, the DZER can see the mystery.
Ever DZERish, the DZER can see the manifestion.
That which is DZERish and unDZERish spring from the same source but differ in name;
This appears as DZER.

DZER within DZER,
The gate to all that is mysterious and wonderful.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

The way of the DZER is simple and, yet, not simple.

• Be kind to others, as the DZER would be kind to you … unless they’re fucking assholes; then unleash the power of meanness and evil innate in all upon them.

• Take only as much as you give, unless you have overmuch; then take less so that those with none can take more.

• Love your children as the DZER loves you, even when they are whining and bitchy and embarrassing and bad. Until they turn 18. Then you can kick their asses into the real world and let them see how far their whining and bitchiness takes them.

• Like the DZER, always cross both ways before you cross the street, lest you be hit by a bus or dumptruck.

• Treat a woman as you would a gentle flower; stroke her petals gently and never be rough with your hands upon her … unless she gets off on that and wants you to call her your little cumslut. Then, do as does the DZER and give in to the freakiness.

• Apply your abilities to their utmost in your job and always seek to do the best you can. Unless your company is screwing you and your boss is a jerk; then, do only what you must to keep the paychecks rolling in.

• Love yourself above all others; though never so often that your palms become covered with coarse hair.

• Never judge a DZER until you have walked a mile in his shoes. Not that he’s ever walked a mile in his own shoes. And make sure you have stuffing for the shoes; the DZER has HUGE feet.

• When in doubt, ask yourself, “What would DZER do?” If it has to deal with a relationship with women, do the opposite of what DZER would do. Trust me.

What the H about DZER ...

This post is brought to you by the letter:

It's tag time again. This time, Snow White has tagged me with the letter meme. Here is how it works: You get a letter assigned to you, and you have to come up with 10 words that begin with that letter and then give your thoughts on them. My letter is "H."

• Hafa adai: This is the traditional, informal greeting of Guam. It basically means "hello."

• Half-caste: This is the term for what I am -- of mixed racial lineage. I'm half Chamorro and half Haole (Causcasian). Sometimes this term is used in a derogatory manner, but not usually. I certainly don't take offense when someone asks me if I'm half-caste (with the accent, it sounds like "haf-cass").

• Halftime: The first of two football references in this list. It's my favorite sport to watch and, when I was MUCH younger, it was my favorite game to play. When I first started playing, around fifth grade, my parents were really involved with the team. They always volunteered to help out, especially with the refreshments during halftime. That generally meant water, or Gatorade, and also a shitload of orange slices. They would be cut into quarters, and there weren't many things that were more refreshing than sucking on some orange slices while sitting on your helmet, listening to your coach give a pep talk for the second half.

• Half-Orc: This is the race of one of the two main characters I'm playing in Neverwinter Nights with My Favorite Person, who's playing an elven druid. My half-orc is a hulking, ugly brute of limited intelligence ("Me go now.") who fights with a sonic longsword. Me like him lots. He fun. Heh.

• Halter top: God I love a woman in a cleavage-revealing halter top. Almost as good as a tubetop (which has the lovely bonus of possibly slipping down to reveal breasts ... heh). There are all kinds of halter tops, as I've discovered, but most all of them not only feature breasts well, but they also serve to show off delicious clavicles and necks. Yummy.

• Heavy: That's me. I not your brother, I'm heavy. Pretty much always have been, since about age five or six. I've always been big for my age, both in height and weight. As I got older, I got bigger ... and bigger ... and bigger. That's changing a little bit. Oh, I'm still heavy ... but not as heavy as I was last year, or even a couple of months ago. Hopefully, that trend will continue.

• History: This was one of my favorite subjects in school. I really had an affinity for dates and events. 1066 - the invasion of England by William the Conquerer. Don't know why, but that one's always stuck in my head. March 4, 1789. 1914-1917. Aug. 1, 1950. All of significance to me ... howzabout to you? My television is often tuned to the History Channel, to learn more.

• Honors: I took a lot of honors courses in junior high school and high school, so many that I graduated with a 4.13 grade-point average -- with 4.0 being straight-A average, because you got an extra point for honors course. There, an "A" was worth 5 points instead of 4, and a "B" was worth 4 points instead of 3. Also, I graduated from college with honors - -cum laude (not cum loudly, although ... heh).

• Huskers: My freshman year of college was spent in the frozen environs of Nebraska. I attended the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and I still consider it to be "my" school for purposes of sporting events, even though I ended up coming home to graduate from the University of Guam. I root for the UNL Cornhuskers, more familiarly called the Huskers, particularly in college football ... even though they've sucked in the past couple years. This year is their year! Go BIG RED!!

• Happiness: Yeah. As if. LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Chamorro pronunciation of "H" is "heche."