Idiots in line ...

Is it just me? Am I the only one who constantly gets stuck behind intelligence-challenged individuals in lines?

Cases in point:

• McDonald's drive-through. I'm behind someone who first stops at the first menu — the one well before the ordering box — and ponders the many lunch offerings for two minutes. Two minutes are an eternity in the drive-through. When this person finally drives up to the ordering station, it takes another two minutes to order. She needs clarification. She's asking what comes with what, and how much extra it will cost.

It's MCDONALD'S! Are there people that go there so infrequently that they have no clue about their dining options. And, if that's the case, why would they choose to use the drive-through?

But it gets better (worse). She pays at the first window, then drives up to the second window. And proceeds to order an additional item. And then has to dig around in her purse to find the money. Idiot!

• I'm No. 8 in line at the movies to buy a ticket. I want to watch "Bewitched," which starts in 10 minutes. I still have time to get a drink and popcorn, then find a seat before it gets too dark.

Except the idiot directly in front of me. Despite having the movies, and all the show times, listed in front of him for his entire time in line, he has no idea what he wants to watch when he reaches the ticket lady. Then he begins to ask about movies. Will I like this?

Would you like a kick in the ass? Pick a movie!

And yes, it gets better (worse). He turns to his girlfriend for the $15 the two tickets cost him. Despite being in line for several minutes, and knowing what a movie costs, they aren't ready to pay. It never occurred for them to get their money ready. And, of course, her wallet is somewhere at the bottom of her purse. Her hands rustle around inside for a while. Finally, she finds the wallet. Then, she has the arduous task of finding the money. Idiot!

• Now I only have a few minutes to get something from the snack counter. I go to a line away from the idiot couple. I'm second! Only one girl ahead of me. She's chatting with her friend, who's just gotten her own snacks.

And the girl in front of me knows what she wants. She orders, gets her stuff and pays. But she keeps standing there. She's organizing her snacks, getting a straw, getting napkins, putting her money back in her purse.

How can she not know that once she's done, she must slide to the side to do all that stuff? The cashier is looking at me, then her. I'm looking at him, then her. We can't do the transaction because she refuses to move.

The guy behind me coughs.

Sorry buddy, nothing I can do.

Luckily, her friend notices all of this and pulls the statue to the side. I order, pay and am out of there while she's still fiddling with that liquid butter crap. Idiot!!