OK, here's how out of it that feast had me today. As I mentioned, after lunch I left the office to do a few errands, which meant I had to take my truck, since the post office is several miles away.
I come back, write the piece below, write the edit, do some more office work and about 2-1/2 to 3 hours later, I'm ready to leave.
Only I can't. Why? Because I can't find my keys. Fuck!!
I look all over my desk. In my desk. I look in all the places in the office I'd been since getting back: the conference room; a co-worker's desk; the bathroom. Zilch. Zippo. Nada. Taya keys!
So I figure I either must have dropped my keys somewhere between my parking space and the back office door, or inside my truck. Or, like a true nonthinking dumbass, maybe I even left then in the ignition.
Of course it was the latter. But it's even worse than that — THE FUCKING TRUCK WAS RUNNING IN IDLE THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!
LMAO @ my stupid fucking ass!!
I was already low on gas earlier in the day. I was perilously below the empty line on my gas meter. Luckily, there's a gas station a stone's throw from the office, even though I had to drive a little further because of the median and traffic lights and all. I pull up to the pump and, before I can turn off the ignition, my truck dies. Right there.
*whew*
Thank you God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Karma or whoever or whatever let me get to the gas station. LOL
And now for something completely cool ...
OK, I have always thought that my blog kicks ass. I have had the feeling that some of my loyal readers (9.5 and climbing fast! LOL) sometimes feel that my blog sometimes kicks ass (one can never be sure when surmising). But now, it's official.
I've been reviewed by JStrap and Charlie on their blog, The Journal Of JStrap II?. JStrap reviewed DZER's Diatribe. His conclusion?
Sweet!
Charlie, in turn, reviewed DZEROTICA. She used very flattering words, calling me a wordsmith (one of my favorite words), that I "ooze passion" — and yes, I do ooze other stuff ;) — and also noted that my erotica "certainly made (her) a little damp down there." Yay, me! LOL ... Her official comment:
And yes, I'm quite aware that this has basically been self-pimpage of my blog, which you already are here reading. But I am a ham; that's a well known fact. I'm also something of a ... *hangs head in shame and mumbles* ... bragger.
There. I said it. :oP
Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Yikes! Two days till Santa comes to Guam!
15 comments:
For a genius, I can be a dumbass. And yes, yay me! *licks*
murph: I had hot coffee, some mail, items for the newsroom gift exchange ... and I was in a overly fed food fog ... I have never done anything close to this ... especially considering I didn't realize anything was wrong forever LOL
la hooker: yeah? maybe we can lock ourselves in the backseat sometime? ;)
sugarpunk: no doubt ... I'm sure I'll be getting flak for this for a long time from friends and co-workers LOL
HAHAHAHA. Good story. You know what I miss Deez, how Guam is one day ahead....anyway I still have to go to the post office for you. Expect a late present.
hugs, Jax
Right then Dzer, from now on how should we address you? Sir, M'Lord or Gov. LOL.
congrats on the great reviews, dzer. you are the man!!! ;)
p.s. i think i can top your blunder - i once went all over the strip mall looking for my sunglasses--and they were on my forehead the whole time. how's that for stupid???!
jax: the day ahead thing usually rocks LOL ... and I'll just pretend it's the post office's fault!
suze: oh, any of the above will do, milady ;)
ell: but no one can drive off with your sunglasses LOL ... and aren't great reviews ... well ... great? heh.
hey congrats dzer! i'd love to get a 'made me blush' but i don't think i'm the right kind of blog for that *lmao*
ell: i did that with goggles at a swim race when i was a kid. still blushing.
sass: I'm sure that if you put your deliciously delightful mind on depicting decadent devious debauchery, you would make all kinds of people blush. ;)
Dzer, I got almost the same compliment. Someone told me that my blog was written by an ass. That's close to kicks ass, right?
Yep, you are the man!!! I did the exact same thing with my keys, only I did not make it to the gas station, and it was 13 degrees outside...I am still shaking my head at my own stupidity!LOL Have a wonderful holiday!
sableass: well, I think so! LOL From one ass to another, merry Christm-ass
wmy: I KNEW I was the the man! woot!! and thank god for close gas stations on a tropical island paradise where the record cold is like 71 LOL
I was gonna say "you poor thing" ... but it sounds like I should save that for your hubby LOL
Aww I'm glad to hear that charlie is reviewing blogs too now! ^_^
I'll have to check if she's done mine
I've left my keys in the car before, but not with the car on!! Well, I'm sure you won't be doing that again any time soon. ^_~
shay: oooh ... I'll do you! heh
and I've never left my truck on either ... until that time LOL
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