— o n e — s m i r k i n g — b a s t a r d —

smirk
pronunciation: smûrk
Verb: To smile in an affected, often offensively self-satisfied manner.
Verb: An affected, often offensively self-satisfied smile.

"There are only two styles of portrait painting;
the serious and the smirk."
— Charles Dickens

When is a smile not a smile? When it's a smirk.

I'm a smirker. I smirk quite often.

That's not to say that I don't smile, because I do. I'm a pretty good smiler. I smile when I'm happy. I have goofy smiles, pleased smiles, contented smiles. I've been told I have a nice smile. When I truly smile, like after a good laugh, my blue eyes tend to sparkle. They become playful, holding the hint of a laugh yet to come.

I also grin. I'm a pretty accomplished grinner. I have a solid wry grin. Even better is my knowing grin. You don't want to see my sly grin unless you're in cahoots with me. When I'm grinning, there's a sense of mischief and trickery in my eyes. The laughter is still there but, like the grin, is usually sardonic.

But I was a born smirker.

Seriously. I can smirk on command. When I'm in THAT kind of mood, the smirk is near perpetual. It can be, and often is, a condescending smirk. It means that not only am I laughing at you in my head, but that I also think that you don't get that I am — or that I know that you know I'm laughing at you in my head but just don't give a rat's ass.

Not giving a rat's ass is an attitude that fits perfectly with a smirker and his smirking lifestyle.

Wow. I so went into the third person there. I apologize. DZER hates it when DZER does that!

:ox

And now for something completely different ...

How is it that all the women who find me hot — or somewhat hot ... or better than they've seen recently ... or at least somewhat doable ... or "hey, at least he's not gay" — don't live anywhere near me? How is that none of them live on Guam. The population here is 155,000 or so; more than half of them are women. And none of them seem to see me that way.

It's a conundrum, wrapped in an enigma, presented as a riddle in a game of charades by blind mental patients.

As Confucius put it: What is the sound of one hand jacking?

And now for something else completely different ...

I had a GREAT audioblog. I reviewed it. It was ... well ... GREAT! I hit the number to post it. I hung up.

It didn't show on my blog.

Twice.

Fuck.

I grieve for all of you, my loyal blog readers (and listeners). You missed out. I can't even begin to describe how brilliant and fun the audioblog was, how engaging and dynamic and enrapturing I was. *sigh* And so, I mourn on behalf of all of you, who for all eternity will have this small gap in your hearts and souls, because of the bastards of audioblogger.com.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Chamorro term that best describes me is "kinuksika". To find out what it means, ask Oh So Wonderful, my Chamorrita blogging che'lu. Heh.