an extended fit of ennui ...

I waste entirely too much time. Time spent doing nothing that could have — and, in most cases, should have — been spent doing SOMETHING productive. The last few days have been brilliant examples of this perfectly phlegmatic pathos of perilous proportions.

The two things I did the most of: nothing; and sleeping. The latter which equates to the former.

yes, Kathi, it's the huge hands & long fingers ;)

Things I could have done: Made significant steps toward cleaning my apartment by clearing out the living room ... or the second bedroom ... or the main bedroom. Reorganize the bedroom. Finally put all the Christmas stuff away. Give the bathroom a thorough cleaning ... or the kitchen. Reorganize and sort through the crap in the utility/tool closet. Prep the living room for painting. Sweep. Mop. Dust. Do laundry.

What I did manage to accomplish: Cook several meals at home instead of just grabbing some fast food or going to a restaurant, including my special steak spaghetti, as well as crispy bacon sammiches, which I had been craving for days. I made them "healthy" by eating them on natural whole grain brain instead of white bread. Heh. Washed every damn dish, pot and piece of silverware in Casa de DZER. Given the amount of dishes and what not piled up, that was something of a miraculous accomplishment.

On a side note, I never understood people who wore gloves to do the dishes. I just didnt' get the whole rubber glove thing. But I do now. I bought a box of surgical rubber gloves (powder free) a little while ago — don't ask why. No, seriously. Don't ask. The question shall not be entertained.

I love wearing them, especially when doing dishes. Nothing like wading through soapy water for an extended period of time, scrubbing and washing and then, when done, pulling off gloves to have nice, dry hands. I sooooo get it now.

Oh, I also managed to clean the stovetop. Last week I also got the oil changed out and a tire replaced. Did the grocery shopping for the week. I got all my work done, though I was late on a couple of columns and projects.

That's about the sum of my accomplishments for a lazy, three-day weekend.

A lot of time was spent in front of this computer screen, but only a fraction of what could have been accomplished actually was. The time that was wasted, that wasn't fruitful or productive, is immense.

And I have no one to blame but myself. I didn't even really give myself to chatting with folks when I "had" them in one of my many instant messenger programs. I spread myself over so many different things that I didn't really participate as much as I should have or could have in several discussions with very nice, very dear people. If you are one of the people I short-shrifted, I apologize.

I need to better compartmentalize my online/on-computer life. I probably shouldn't run the IM programs when I'm actually working, as it distracts me from work and also means that I can't/don't give adequate amounts of attention to people I'm exchanging messages.

Ack. I've just realized that I'm guilty of doing what I hate to experience when the positions are reversed. I hate hypocrisy, especially when I — finally — recognize it in my behavior. Fuck.

Other things that could have been done but were not:

• I have three erotica stories that I've started, one of them about halfway done. I haven't been able to manage the creative juices necessary to finish them up. I copped out on one of them with a lame ending that cut it way too short, so I have to really finish that one.

• I've messed around with a few graphics for my other blogs, with an eye toward jazzing them up a bit. But I haven't really done anything too productive. Nothing complete. Nothing finalized.

• I've put off a minor revamp of this blog, including tweaking the sidebar. Not to mention the audioblogs I have ideas for that I haven't attempted. Or the blog topics that sit on a Post-It on the right of my computer.

* There are a couple of other writing-related projects I have semi-started or partially planned.

So, DZER, what does this mean?
Honestly, not all that much, I guess. LOL ... I'm a leopard who's spots are laziness and procrastination. OK, not a leopard ... and elephant seal ... or elephant ... or some other massive land mammal ... whose spots are laziness and procrastination.

Maybe the puppy, when it does arrive, will change some of this. But I doubt it.

I think I would need something with much more impact for me to change things around. Something or someone would have to happen, in my all-too-real-and-boring life here, to provide the impetus needed for true catharthis.

But I'm a born whiner, so I just had to share with all of you faithful blog readers (11.7 and counting!!).

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• I has rained heavily, off and on, over the last four days here on Guam. I think that helps contribute to my phlegmatic behavior, as with my air-con cranked it makes it chilly inside, which is perfect dozing and napping temperatures. Just like Milli Vanilli, I blame it on the rain.