parking idiots ... and the early HNT from Guam ...

Have you ever noticed how many people just can't park? It doesn't matter if it's a diagonal slot at the grocery store, a straight-in slot at the mall, a reserved space in which they've been parking for months, if not years, or if it's a parallel job on the street.

So many people just can't do it right.

They pull into a slot in the parking garage that they've been in hundreds of time, in a car they've driven for years, and still can't get closer to the wall than three or four feet -- doesn't matter if they're backing in or parking front side in. They simply don't realize or feel the dimensions of their vehicles. That's understandable when you're in a new car or an unfamiliar vehicle. But how can you not know your own car?

This is my spot. It's close to a wall and on the first level up from the ground, which makes it impossible to just pull into. I have to drive perpendicular to the spot, reverse, then pull in —- basically, I have to execute a modified reverse three-point turn. I hate the assholes that follow me up the ramp right on my tail, especially long-time parking garage users who should know that this is where my rather distinctive pickup belongs. Although a part of me does love making them wait, looking at my reverse lights as I prevent them from moving around me. Assholes.

And I hate people who take up two slots. I don't care how wide your vehicle is, you get one slot, asshole. Don't take up two spots, especially if you're in a tiny car. Especially if it's anywhere near the doors. You want to take up two spaces to protect your car from dings? Then take your ass to the remote areas of the lot and do it there.

I also despise it when you do a good job parking, leaving yourself and your passenger, if any, plenty of room on each side. You park correctly, well inside the parking demarcation lines. You come out of the store and some asshole has parked about six inches away from your driver's side door. For some of you slender fucks out there, it might not be a big deal. But to me, you might as well have welded the door shut. What the hell is up with that?

And how can you parallel park, get out of your car, notice that you've left a motorcycle lane between your passenger side and the curb, and not rectify your parking error? How the hell did you pass your driving test to get your license?

It's already hell out there because of the legion of idiots who are allowed to "drive" on our roads ... do you have to exacerbate the problem by not learning how to park right?

*feeling the tension and rage diffuse from my soul*

OK ... on to more important matters: THE EARLY HALF-NEKKID THURSDAY FROM GUAM!

My "fake" shoes. When I want my feet to be extra comfy, I slip into these ... well, slippers. They look enough like shoes that I can get away with wearing them, which I do ... often. Heh.


To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:


Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam has no parking meters. Zip. Zero. Zilch.