... the funk seems to have struck again.
what am I doing? why am I doing it? why am I not doing anything to change it? should I? should I just ride it out?
does it really matter -- to me or anyone else -- in the long run? or the short run, for that matter?
guess I'm just wondering ... well, about everything. but the "what ifs" and "why nots" and "if onlys" don't generate any coherent thought; in fact, they only serve to make things more jumbled, complicated, meaningless. they only serve to make me more disaffected, morose, befuddled, furious. but not thinking about that does pretty much the same thing.
i envy those who have a much better grasp on things ... what they want to do for a living or career ... who they want to be with or are with ... that actually like where they're at ... even those who know for sure that they don't like where they're at and plan to do something about it.
obviously, there's no real coherent point to this rambling, self-pitying, mopey post. and yet, nonetheless, here it is ...
6 comments:
Dzer,
Not that it helps you in any way, but I totally get this feeling. Not so much today (because for me the funk is transitory and it's hard to feel TOO bad on the Friday before a long weekend), but in general the last few months I have felt like this more often than not really. I hate my job and I'm not sure about anything I'm doing in my personal life either.
I think (hope?) that at some point it's going to come to a head where I strongly feel what I DON'T want, to the extent that I have to act. Until then, I'm just bopping along and trying to enjoy what I can until I can get it all figured out.
P.S. I've missed your cleverness, btw...in case you were wondering! ;o)
*hugs*
We all ask those questions. Well, not all...those of us with more brain and with more ambition. Some are content to float through life without a care. And while it seems they got the best end because they don't have these existential breakdowns, they never leave their mark in this world.
Just a thought.
-N
you need a kick in the ass!
Good to see you writing somethin'! I was getting tired of checkin' in at least once a day and gettin' the same old burp!
I'm here to kick ass with Chrissie.
It's funk season.
*SPANK*
That oughta help a little. ;)
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