fitty ... pibty ... Five-Oh ...

stolen from me brudder's blog ...

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Not as much as I like bleu cheese. Fail!

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
No, but I once dusted a heroine.

3. Do you own a gun?
My attorney has advised me not to answer this question.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
Fuck me, I wish there was a Sonic anywhere near me!

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
I. Hate. Fucking. Doctors.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Wait a minute. Are you one of those people who believe that hot dogs exist?

7. Favorite Christmas song?
“All I Want for Christmas Is You” — the version the kid sings in “Love Actually.”

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Is limited to liquid matter?

9. Can you do push ups?
I’ll do yer push-up bra, my little chickadee.

10. What was the name of your first girlfriend/boyfriend?
Imaginary.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
That other stripper’s eyebrow ring.

12. Favorite hobby?
World. Of. Warcraft.

13. Do you work with people who idolize you?
Most of the barely tolerate me.

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
No, I have S.U.B.T.R.A.C.T.

15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself?
Besides the globulous, cetaneous fat?

16. Middle name?
Miguel. I shit you not.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
That exact moment already passed.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
Iced tea. Deodorant. Body wash.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink.
King Car Lemon Tea. Coffee. Is there anything else?

20. Current worry right now?
How much sleep I’ll get.

21. Current hate right now?
The amount of sleep I’ll get.

22. Favorite place to be?
Sleeping.

(Can you sense the pattern?)

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
See above.

24. Where would you like to go?
To sleep.

25. Name three people who will complete this?
I’d be fucking stunned if anyone did.

26. Whose answer do you want to read the most?
Fuck ‘em all.

27. What color shirt are you wearing?
I’m not wearing shirt.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Who has time to sleep?

29. Can you whistle?
Just put your lips together and …

30. Favorite color(s)?
Does sleep have a color?

31. Would you be a pirate?
Arrrrrr!!

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Die Zauberflote: Act II-Die Holle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

33. Favorite girl's name?
Hel.

34. Favorite boy's name?
Mephistopheles.

35. What's in your pocket right now?
Nada.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
“The Colbert Report.”

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Back to the sleeping thing I see.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Broken heart. Duh.

39. Do you love where you live?
If you can’t live in the place you love, baby, love the place you live.

40.
There was no question associated with this number.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Shh!!

42. How many dogs do you have?
Hot dogs?

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Nobody has EVER crushed on me.

44. Who is your favorite president?
Of what?

45. What is your favorite book?
Too many to mention.

46. What is your favorite candy?
Butterfinger.

47. What is your favorite sports team?
Chicago Bears.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Amazingly, I have nothing smart-assed or poignant to write here.

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Socketing a belt on World of Warcraft with new gems.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Fuck. I have to wake up.