morning people

Ugh. Can't understand them. How can anyone be happy and chipper and peppy and all zippety-doo-dah in the morning.

What genetic fault do these people have? Don't they know that mornings are meant for sleeping in, especially early in the morning? How can they not see that thanks to technology, especially artificial lights, there's no reason to live a life according to the rising and setting of the sun. Seriously, why are we sticking with these farmer hours? Why the hell is there still a daylight savings time? Why do we send our kids to school based on an agrarian calendar?

Back to the peppy people. Seriously again, what the fuck? These are the folks whistling in traffic, or while waiting for the waitress to get back with their eggs — sunny-side up, of course! Male versions of this breed often make the double-click noise with their tongue while doing the finger-gun motion pointing at you thingy.

They sing-song their greetings: Gooooood moooor-ning! Often they do this while asking inane questions: Isn't it a beeeeee-yooo-tiiii-ful morning??

What's so good about it? I'm not even that chipper when I wake up early to play golf for free.

They have pithy and overly friendly greetings (courtesy of a recent Chrissie morning):

Them: How are you this bright and cheery?

Her: *grumble* fine. you?

Them: Ooh! sun is shinin', bees are buzzin'!

Yikes! Thankfully I don't have anyone THAT bad in my office — but that's just because my office is filled mostly with jaded journalists. Plus, I don't have to be there first thing, thank god.

The worst are the Monday morning Morning People — "Good morning! How was your weekend? Mine was spect-TAC-ular!"

It makes me want to call them at midnight: Hey!! How's your night so far? What? Sleeping? On such a beautiful night? Hello? Hello?"

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam is where America's day begins, thanks to the International Date Line. But does the day have to start sooooo early?