who wants a bad case of V.D.? ...

I'm sure there are many people out there like me ... slightly (or more) bitter, and single — an likely to be that way in a few weeks, come February 14.

That's right ...

V A L E N T I N E ' S D A Y

... bleah

I'll spare you the details of the shitty Valentine's Days past, and of the whole named-after-a-beheaded-priest spiel, even the whole holiday-made-up-by-the-greeting-card-candy-and-floral-companies-to- make-money-hand-over-fist diatribe.

I did find a fun card site called Be My Anti-Valentine with some very apropros greetings for those in a similar position as me. I encourage all of you in said position to use the site; hell ... send ME one. Here's an example:
Heh.

In the immortal words of the J. Geils Band:

Love Stinks
You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
Ya just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing's for sure

Love stinks

Love stinks ... yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks ... yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks ... yeah yeah
Love stinks
Love stinks ... yeah yeah

But anyway, the point of this post ... kind of ... LOL

This year, I'm actually going to DO something about Valentine's Day.

That's right. I'm not just going to bitch and whine, moan and complain. This year, I'm taking ACTION.

No, I'm not going to form a Lonely Hearts Club. I'm not even going to ask someone out so I have a date on Valentine's Day (though I'm sure some will tell me that's exactly what I SHOULD do).

So what WILL I do, you ask? (he asked, rhetorically)

Well, let me tell you, you inquisitive souls. (he stated emphatically)

I'm going to make reservations.

All over town.

At the best and most popular restaurants.

For Valentine's Day.

Multiple reservations at multiple places at multiple times.

Why? (again, you ask, rhetorically)

Surely some of you have guessed ... it's to fuck over all the couples (specifically men, who are charged with this duty) who wait a little too long to make their romantic night reservations. They will call and find out that this restaurant is booked. And that one. And that one too!

It's also to get back a little at the restaurants, with their fancy special menus for two, for their collaboration in this persecution of single, unattached folks. Even if I wanted to just go out for a nice dinner on my own, even to the middle-range places, I wouldn't be able to escape the "you're-eating-alone-on-valentine's-day-you-loser" looks ... not to mention the crowded conditions and over-abundance of lovey-dovey crap and smooching and soulful looks into the eyes and yadda-yadda-yadda.

So I invite inveterate or just unfortunate singles to join in my guerrilla war. It's a lot easier if you live in a relatively small town with few fancy dining options, but do what you can when you can how you can. Hell, spread the word ... with enough of us making these calls — nice and early too — we can screw over a LOT of couples and a LOT of restaurants! LOL

Anyway ...
... that being said, the Valentine's Day cards and prezzies have been sent ... heh. If I have your address, you are likely getting a VD card. A couple of you are getting a little bit more. Enjoy! :D

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Chamorro word for "heart" is "korason."