50 things about DZER ... and the early HNT

001.00: I love to play poker. As much as I love winning money playing it, I sublimely enjoy the action. I’ll happily break even or lose some money for several hours worth of good poker.

001.01: The most I have ever one in one game/tournament: $1,250. The most I’ve lost in one game/tournament: $400.

002.00: I was a heavy smoker for more than 20 years before quitting Oct. 24, 2004. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t still want to smoke.

002.01: The first cigarettes I smoked were stolen from my dad, who was a heavy smoker his entire adult life.

003.00: My first car was a 1974 Ford Pinto hatchback in puke yellow. You could pop its trunk — and start the engine — with a flathead screwdriver.

004.00: I was always a pretty smart kid, but didn’t start doing the straight-A thing until the seventh grade … which was the first school year after my radio fell on my head in the night and leaked battery acid. Coincidence?

005.00: I can’t eat beans. They make me physically ill (it’s a post-traumatic, psychosomatic reaction). Same goes for stew.

006.00: When I was an adolescent, one of the things we liked doing was climbing up onto a roof, or up a tree … and then jump to the ground.

007.00: I am the second of five children. I have an older sister, a younger brother, a younger sister and another brother, the youngest of the five, who was born one day before my birthday.

008.00: Most people would never guess it by looking at me or hearing me speak, but I am biracial. I am half Chamorro and half white. On Guam, the term is “Chamaole” … unless you’re trying to be insulting, in which case it’s “half-caste.”

009.00: I can’t speak much Chamorro outside of basic, common phrases. I used to be able to understand much more, but have lost that. I wish I was fluent in my father’s native language, but know I don’t have the aptitude or patience to learn it as an adult.

009.01: Not speaking Chamorro is not uncommon in Chamaoles … or in more and more Chamorros, on a growing basis. The language may not be dying, but it’s getting pretty close.

010.00: I fell into journalism by chance. I had a scholarship that I could take off island, but only if the degree wasn’t offered at the University of Guam. I went to the first thing on the list offered at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln that wasn’t offered at UOG — Advertising. Since the closest thing to that offered at UOG when I came back was Communications, that’s what my major was.

010.01: I graduated cum laude with a B.A. in Communications with a specialization in Mass Media. I should have stayed another year and got a second degree in Psychology or Philosophy.

011.00: I paid for college with a University of Guam Board of Regents Merit Scholarship, which I received for graduating second in my class at Simon Sanchez High School. For my junior and senior years, I also was a Truman Scholar. The Truman would have paid for two years of graduate work, but I kept postponing it until it expired.

012.00: I haven’t had a girlfriend in almost 10 years. Fucking yikes!

013.00: My favorite football team is the Chicago Bears. My favorite Bear of all-time? Tough … but I have to go with Bronko Nagurski.

014.00: I love kissing women. A lot. I mean, you really have no idea. It might be a bit unmanly how much I love kissing, but I don’t fucking care.

015.00: At one point in time, I was among the top-ranked dart players (steel-tips only, thank you; that electronic darts shit is … well, shit. LOL) on Guam. That was a long time ago though; I can’t remember the last time I threw a dart.

015.01: When playing darts, I sold darts and supplies to other players, making a decent second income.

016.00: I have never loved a woman who didn’t end up breaking my heart.

016.01: Not one.

016.01: But most not on purpose.

017.00: It shames me to admit I once purchased a PC — a very long time ago! — thinking I could try it since it was cheaper than any Mac I could get on Guam. The guy who installed it couldn’t get the piece of shit to boot and when he did, it would crash. I took it back the next day and wouldn’t use the best, top-of-the-line non-Mac if you gave it to me for free.

018.00: I have been discriminated against because I am a Mac user. Especially by software companies.

019.00: I allowed myself to be played and exploited by a woman I met on the Internet whom I got “involved” with. And yes, I really would like to have the half-karat diamond earrings back, thank you very much.

020.00: As I have been told by one very good friend on several occasions, and which I recognize and accept, I can be very stupid for someone so fucking smart.

021.00: And yes, I am a genius. And no, I don’t think it’s bragging to state that; it’s simply a fact. I’m tall. I’m fat. I’m a genius. All true.

022.00: Mensa is for losers.

023.00: I am one of the few men of my age who does NOT own a PlayStation 2 or any other gaming system.

024.00: When I was young, I was good at football, bowling, shooting pool, basketball and baseball. Now the only sport I play is golf … and I suck ass.

025.00: I’m a voracious reader and have been ever since I was a child. I think that many of the problems with today’s society, from youths on up, is the high rate of illiteracy and, thus, the lack of a solid education.

026.00: I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican. I don’t think people should limit themselves to either party. I, personally, am conservative in some areas, liberal in others. I’m adamant about some of my personal opinions and stances on issues, while I’m amenable to being swayed by a good argument on others. I also feel that we all should be more tolerant and accepting of others’ views, and learn how to practice true statesmanship and compromise for the overall good of the many.

026.01: I recognize that I’m just as full of shit as anyone else on some things.

027.00: The first time I beat my dad at Scrabble, I was amazed and astonished. Even better was that he wasn’t mad that his kid beat him. In fact, he was proud. And then beat my ass the next game.

028.00: My mom and other family members refused to play the card game Spades against me and my dad, because we were totally in tune and would smash the hell out of anyone we played.

029.00: Some of my fondest memories of growing up are the times we all spent playing board games, card games and doing other things — like hiking, camping and fishing — as a family. It’s rare to see that anymore in today’s world, and I think that’s a very sad thing.

030.00: I love to laugh, and appreciate someone who can get me to experience those deep, from-the-core belly laughs.

031.00: I love the sound and smell of a Zippo lighter being opened and then lit.

032.00: When I was in the fifth and sixth grades, my brother and I used to scrounge bicycles thrown away, usually by families leaving the island, who just tossed them into the boonies. We would clean them up, take all the usable parts and build “new” bikes, which we would then sell to neighborhood kids.

033.00: I believe that the most influential author of the past 100 years or so is J.R.R. Tolkien.

034.00: Twice, school administrators wanted to skip me ahead a grade so that I would be with other kids who were at the same level as I was. Twice, she refused. At the time, I really wanted to be skipped ahead. Now, I’m grateful that she didn’t.

035.00: One of the best places I ever lived as a kid was in Okinawa, Japan. It was a great place to be the age I was — 10-12. We rode our bikes everywhere, and the best place was off base, where we could buy firecrackers and cool toys for cheap, because that was when the yen was really weak to the dollar — our allowances went twice as far as they normally would have. The best place was called “Gate 2 Street” among the base folks. There were tons of stores and markets, great restaurants and more. Someday, I hope to go back.

036.00: Guam has, for the majority of my life, been my home. I grew up here, on and off, as a kid, most of the time up to age 18. It’s been my permanent home since I was 19. But I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to stay here. There is so much more out there.

037.00: This year will mark the 10th anniversary of my father’s death. He died at age 55. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I have never met a finer or better man than he was.

037.01: One of the biggest regrets in my life is that I never really told my dad how much I loved him. I showed him, I think, and I’m sure he knew, but God how I wish I would have actually just said it out loud to him before he died.

038.00: I have four tattoos — a “Punisher” skull, a Minxmaid, a kokopelli and a tribal gecko. I’m planning to get more, but am not sure what the next one will be. I have this cool ghoul, but I’m leaning toward getting something related to the Chicago Bears, like the team logo and/or mascot.

039.00: I think that the best jelly bean is the black jelly bean. Also, I prefer the old-school jelly beans, which had flavors the same as their color. LOL

040.00: I drink coffee pretty much on a daily basis, to one extent or another — sometimes just a cup, sometimes 10-12 cups.

040.01: I also drink copious amounts of Assam Black Tea. It’s the best iced tea sold commercially.

041.00: I think I would have made a great historian and philosopher. I loved both subjects in school, but didn’t see any kind of job future in either one, outside of teaching. I mean, who hires philosophers? Or historians, for that matter? LOL

042.00: Sports feats I have accomplished — scored a touchdown, scored an extra point, kicked an extra point, scored a game winning touchdown, won a city championship; hit a home run, hit a grand slam, turned a double play, made all-star teams, won a league title; blocked a shot, dunked a ball (OK, it was a volleyball … LOL), hit a 3-point shot; spiked a volleyball in someone’s face, served an ace; hit a bullseye to win a dart match, hit a Ton80; bowled a turkey, scored above 280 in a bowling game; sank the 8-ball on the break, sank a 9-ball on the break, ran the table … among others.

043.00: I have a clean record; I have never been convicted of a felony. But at one time, I was a kid who often did things I shouldn’t have done … I just didn’t get caught … or the times I was caught, I was given a break.

044.00: I think most drivers are total idiots and that my driving skills and abilities are far superior to others. Sometimes while traveling as a passenger, I have to bite my lip to keep from telling someone how they can drive better.

045.00: I am a great sulker and pouter. I’m not proud of the fact, and I try not to, but I can’t totally suppress this native talent. LOL

046.00: I hate gross hypocrisy more than most things. Oh … and fanatics/fanaticism.

047.00: I hate doing laundry. I hate most cleaning chores, but laundry is the one I detest the most. Well, maybe not the most, but close!

047.01: Sweeping and mopping suck ass too.

048.00: I have anal-retentive tendencies, but I’m not totally anal-retentive. Sometimes, I wish I was, because then it would mean that I would be a lot less sloppy than I am.

049.00: I can’t get enough of crime/legal dramas like “CSI,” “NCIS,” “Law and Order,” “Criminal Minds” and the like. I think this all started way back with shows like “Quincy,” “Ironsides” and “Perry Mason.” I think that if I had much more initiative and an aptitude for science, that I would have tried to become a forensic scientist, or possibly a chief medical examiner.

050.00: I hate making lists. Actually, that’s not true at all. I love making lists. I love checking things off my list. This is a symptom of my anal-retentive tendencies.

050.01: I would be totally surprised if more than two or three people actually read this whole list. LOL

And now, the early HNT!!

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Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• There was a very short-lived effort, back in the late 1940s/early 1950s, to incorporate Guam and the CNMI as part of the Hawaii statehood iniative. We essentially would have been counties of Hawaii. And why not? We're only 3,800 miles away from each other. LOL