And the winners are ...

Yesterday's DZER's Diatribe featured two separate contest: Pick the best DZER pic and the links/alleration find.

Here are the winners of the FABULOUS PRIZES!!:

• buttah: You're right. The cigar pick rocks. Especially since I can't smoke any more. Fuck.

• sugarpunk: You didn't get the right answer to the links part, because it wasn't just the links I added, but the number of different people who were linked in the actual post. However, you got the alliteration part right. Plus, no one else bothered to make a guess.

So what are FABULOUS PRIZES?

Buttah wins dinner with DZER at the Hyatt Regency Guam's Al Denté Ristorante (premium Italian food).

Sugarpunk wins an all-over oil massage at the Guam beach of her choice from me, the DZER.

Note: Transportation to Guam is the responsibility of the winners. Prizes expire Dec. 31, 2005.

MERRY CHRISTMAS DECORATING

OK. I admit it freely. I'm a Christmas guy. An EARLY Christmas guy.

Yep. That guy almost all of you hate.

I like the Christmas stuff going out on sale early. Why? Because if gives me more time to prepare. I like first dibs on the cool stuff. I like first choice of good, quality wrapping paper, and not having to settle on super-thin, easily torn and creased Smurf wrapping paper that's two decades old.

I admit that I've gone a tad bit overboard. I can't resist picking up more stuff when I'm out shopping — even though I have plenty. Today I added five more rolls of wrapping paper of different colors and tones, ribbons, bows and more bows. And tags. And some metallic string (gonna try something new ... heh!). Oh, and a box of Twinkies. But I balanced that with a bag of baby carrots. But that's another blog for another time.

So, today I put up my brand new door decorations: Ta-da!!



Now, this doesn't mean my door is done. But the door is drilled and the super-cute, super on-sale ($4.99) wood and wire homey Christmas sign is up on the door. And the homey, wooden, super-cool and super on-sale ($2.99) sign is up over the door. And yes, drilling the concrete above the door was a bonus — I got to break out my power drill, which totally rocks.



Yes, it's not a super drill. It's a Skil 1/2" drill with the power horizontal grab bar (where you can store drill bits) and the drill bit hole at the bottom. Like I said, it's not a pneumatic drill or anything, but it gets the job done — for me that means it can drill concrete so I can insert anchors for screws.

Any, back to the Christmas stuff. There still may be more stuff going on the door. Hell, I might splurge on one of those Christmas welcome mats at Kmart.

Wait; it gets worse.

Tomorrow, I'm putting up the lights on my balcony. My little mini fiber optic tree is coming out, along with any and all home decorations. Some will be going into the office with me to dress up my "pod" for the department-vs.-department decorating contest.

Most Christmas cards are out. Blogger Christmas cards — with lovely surprises inside — go out early next week. Present wrapping starts next week as well.

Christmas carols are playing on my iTunes as I write this. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams — one of my all-time favorites!

Hell, I just might go to Mass during advent! Hmm ... maybe I shouldn't use "hell" when I talk about going to church.

I, in my capacity as Jingle George, will be a celebrity bell ringer for the Salvation Army Dec. 10 at Guam Premium Outlets for an hour or two. I'm sure there will be pics.

DZER NEEDS A DATE

Oddly enough, Dec. 10 is also my company Christmas party. I am, for the fourth year in a row, the emcee of the event. I pretend to hate doing it, but those of you who know of my haminess know I freaking love it. Last year it was tough because I was off cigarettes and in a bit of an emotional funk, but this year should be all joy and happiness. Hmm. Better not count that chicken before it's hatched.

Also, as of now, I am going stag. I have the option to bring someone along for free, but all of my favorite strippers work on Saturday nights. And no, there isn't anyone I can think of to ask, especially who isn't already going.

Fuck. There's the funk. Another lonely Christmas ... another New Year's Eve without a date or a kiss. Well, at this point, what's another one, right?

So, if any of you think you might happen to be on Guam on the 10th, let me know by the 6th. The night will include a good dinner, dancing, fun and engaging company and me on the microphone guiding the event along.

It just would be nice to have a date is all.

I promise to be a perfect gentleman. No sexual advances, no forwardness. I won't even get drunk.

Fuck it.

I WILL DANCE!

Damn. I can't believe I typed that. The last time I danced was ... almost 10 years ago, when Ri got married.

So there's your incentive.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• One of Guam's Christmas traditions is the "bilen," or nativity scene. Some families have giant, life-sized recreations on their lawns. Others have sprawling bilens inside their living rooms, that seek to recreate not only the manger scene, but the city of Bethlehem and the surrounding countryside (the shepherds, you see). Most have a small, tidy display that's easy to put up and take down.