gross ant story, updates and thanksgiving ...

OK, just in case you thought you were having a bad week, I present to you the following story:

KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - A woman receiving treatment for diabetes at a state-run hospital in eastern India lost one of her eyes after ants nibbled away at it, officials said on Tuesday.

The patient recovering from a post-surgery infection shrieked for help as the ants attacked her on Sunday night, but nurses told her it was normal to feel pain from the infection.

On Monday, the patient's family saw a gaping hole with swarming ants in it when they lifted the bandage on her left eye.

Authorities of the Sambhunath Hospital in Kolkata said they were probing the incident.

WTF??? Ants. Ate. Her. Fucking. Eye.

While she was in the hospital.

Being eyecandy is NOTpleasant.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

OK ... let the updates begin!!



• Yes, new photos, such as the one above, are up on DZER's Guam Pics.

• I am now presenting, on the right-hand rail of my blog, a gallery of DZER mugs. Scroll on down. Tell me which one you like best and why ... and win a FABULOUS prize!

• Links over to the right are updated. It's a MANdated change — yes, I do read men's blogs, despite the often-heard snarky comments about my "Dzerettes." Anyway, I've fixed the link to Hick's blog. I know you're Mike now, Mike, but you will always be Hick to me. Two new additions to the highly influential "Blogs I Read ..." list: a man called Horsn and Castufari. Horsn's got mad graphics skills, as he showed by putting murph's name onto Everything Nice's tits. Dude ... if you can put ME on her chest, I'd be eternally grateful.

ON WITH THE BLOGGING!!!

Can you believe, after all of that, I still have shit to say? I'm very vociferously and vibrantly verbose, vermin! Oh yeah ... I did it ... and with V's too baby. Deal with it!

It's fucking Thanksgiving next week. In fact, it's just five days away for me. Six for you suckers, but that's just because you're living behind the time, bitches!!

Hmm ... I will pause now to apologize for my blatantly belligerent and bellicose berating, blog-onauts. I just realized I called you "vermin," "suckers" and "bitches" in the span of two very short paragraphs! LOL ... I'm sure some of the chicks out there are probably turned on with my mean and uncaring Dom talk, but for the sake of Kathi and other delicate and fragile blossoms of womanhood, I will restrain my baser instincts.

(Those of you who don't want me to restrain my instincts, but would rather have me restrain you, and then perform deliriously decadedent and deeply debasing acts upon your quivering, aching bodies, e-mail me immediately!!)

By the way, I hereby stake claim to the term BLOG-ONAUTS. I claim it for the honor and glory that is DZERLAND! If anyone has used it before me, tough shit! It's mine!

OK ... back to Thanksgiving.

It's next week! Yay!!

It's my most favoritist holiday, right after Christmas. I can't get enough turkey, giblet gravy, mashed taters, stuffing/dressing (yes, I know the difference — do you?) and pumpkin pie. Seriously. I wish I could eat that meal at LEAST once a week. It's one of my all-time favorite meals. I will try to have several Thanksgiving meals.

I will eat at the office — the paper is great about taking care of employees who work the holiday. One of the island's top catering companies will be paid to provide turkey, ham, mashed taters, stuffing, gravy and pies for those working Thursday. So I will eat there. If there are leftovers, I will sneak some home.

Then I will be eating at my the Thanksgiving feast of my pare' and muli. Those are Chamorro words for the father and mother of my godchildren. Ri can cook her ass off. Again, there will be turkey, ham, taters, stuffing, etc. I will definitely be taking food home from this one too, so I can have leftovers on Friday.

By the way, just a few words on stuffing/dressing:

• There should never be any raisins in it. Seriously.

• There should never be oysters in it. Seriously.

It should basically be stale bread, diced, onions, celery, giblets, black olives, and seasonings. No crazy ingredients. No apples. No sausage. No broccoli. No nuts. No cranberries. Simple and basic are key. Fuck all that fancying up of stuffing/dressing.

More on Thanksgiving in the week to come. Keep an eye out for:

• The Thanksgiving That Almost Wasn't.

• Typhoons, Thanksgiving and Swarming Bees.

• DZER's Childhood Thanksgivings on Guam: Fiesta Plus Haole Holiday Feast!

Keep an eye out for this holiday blogramming (YES, BITCHES!! ANOTHER COINED TERM!!) and more, right here on DZER's Diatribe!! Wow. I linked to myself on my own blog. That is just sad. But fuck it. LOL

POP QUIZ!
If you can remember, without scrolling back up how many:
• Bloggers I linked to in this post
• Authored Amped and Amazing Awesome Alliterations
You win a FABULOUS PRIZE!!

That's right, fuckers! (Excuse the channeling of Stiffler yet again) TWO FABULOUS PRIZES offered in ONE blog!!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam was formed millions of years ago when a pair of volcanoes sank beneath the ocean, leaving only their peaks above water.