Gals, this is something that most women don't know about guys. Some of you might be aware of it, and maybe have even seen it, or bitched about it (re: NAGGED US!). But what you don't know is just how formalized and intrinsic to all men it is.
I'm speaking of one-upsmanship. Yes, us men are almost all about competition. We have an internal, emotional and psychological need to better better, have more and better than the next guy. And the next one. Sometimes we get stupid about it. It's why neighbors always try to outdo each other. Why one guy wants his car to be faster than the other guy's ride. Why we want to make more money than the next guy.
We're all about trying to outdo other men. It's what has made the human race great. Why do you think there are three pyramids? Each of them were larger than the previous one. It's why civilization has progressed. Why cities have risen, fallen and been rebuilt. Why buildings have soared higher, gotten bigger. Why cars are bigger, faster, more cool looking. Why we have airplanes and rocketships.
And it happens with EVERY facet of our life. You scored three touchdowns in one game in high school? Nice. I scored four ... in one half. You bench 200? I bench 350. You make $90K? I spend that much on lawn care! You have a beach house? Me too ... it matches the one in the mountains.
It even happens with bad stuff. You broke your leg? I broke BOTH of my legs at the same time. You had the shits for two days? I had the explosive liquid crap combined with projectile vomiting! You had to walk a mile to school? I had to fall off a mountain, navigate a gushing river and walk 5 miles in the snow — uphill — both ways! You got beat up in school everyday? I wish! They still call me "prison bitch" at my high school reunions!
You get the picture. Anyway here's what is generally considered one of the top trump cards in all of guyhood: This is me and "Giselle" (her stage name). She's French-Vietnamese. Very hot. Very sexy. Also intelligent and knowledgeable and wise. She also happened to be a bisexual stripper who was my live-in girlfriend. That's a very hard one to one-up.I'm certainly one-uppable in many other areas, and it has been YEARS since I dated her ... like 8 or 9 ... but she still counts.
Yes, it's extremely shallow and base and even stupid. But it's my adult "na-na-na-na-na-naaaaa" to the other fellas.
Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam's one-uppable thing on the rest of the United States: It's where America's Day begins. You know when movies open at midnight? Our midnight showings are 9 a.m. the previous day in the states. Yes, we got the Harry Potter movies before you did. Christmas happens here before where you live — Santa comes to visit us FIRST! So does the Easter Bunny, Cupid and the New Year's baby. Heh.
32 comments:
ROFLMAO! I'd say she'd be hard to beat Duane! Good for you. I loved the na na na naa line. *laughing*
I always suspected it was this way with men. Thanks for letting us in on the secret. ;)
And you don't think women do this also??????? Ohhhhhh----they do! LOL!!!
But you are so right- I mean, this even goes way back to the primative days.
With women? It's about who's shoes are more expensive & nicer, who's nails are better, who has the better hair style....and the better man.
For me? I'm like the man. I say, "Na na nana na"---cause they want my woman! *hehe* (she paid me to write that- I swear)
I mean--just look---Kathi tries to compete with me to see who can comment first on your blog... (that biiiotCH!) ;)
DAMN, deb beat me here again. I honestly think she sits at the puter commenting everywhere she can as soon as someone posts, just to get there before I do. She's such a control freak!!!
Now, what was your post about again? Oh yeah, competition between men...LOL
LOL! That's great! I guess it's kinda built into all of us. I don't tend to do it unless it's someone that has an attitude and thinks that they are better. I feel the need to knock them down a notch or two.
btw deb ~ shoes, I'm easy to beat...all I wear are Croc's (unless I'm forced to wear something nicer, then I whine because my feet hurt)
nails, I do my own...keep em' short and clean.
hair, wash n go, always
man, Mine would be hard to beat, but we could try and catch him and see.
jenn: no charge ... though I will be punished by the men eventually ;)
deb: with us, it's ingrained in the system. and I'm sure gals compete ... to be most attractive to the competing men LOL
kathi: deb makes me call her as soon as I post.
lilith: I'll let you knock me down and take my peg down a step or two ;)
kathi: do you compete with other moms? "my son won a bronze and he's only 15 and in his second wrestling match ... what did your son do? LOL
NOOOO, I'd never do that. Even if I knew another mom, I'd not do it. I'm a loner, dzer, seriously. Extremely shy, wallflower kinda gal. When I do try to make friends, as soon as I open my mouth, something smartass comes out and all hope is lost. It takes a special person to be my friend, really. Usually, it's not the kind of woman that cares about shoes, nails and hair...I guess I just got lucky with deb liking me. Yup, lucky, lucky me. :)
On the flip side, guys always seem to like me, go figure!
ah ... you could just be one of those guy chicks ... women guys like/get along with ... rare breed LOL
Yea well my truck is bigger than yours!
ohhhhhh D....hunny
i guarantee i'm way more competitive than most men.
GUARANTEE!
I think as you age you lose that competitiveness...or I'm just arrogant enough to think there is no competition....lol
Kathi- you're usually on top of me when we're in the same comment box.......
And Dzer, can you call me sooner this time? Geesh!
murphy: thanks man ... and I live in an apartment ... no lawn LOL
gigi: women! can't live with 'em ... can't chop them up into little pieces and bury them in your backyard ...
roadkil: LOL ... it might be!
buttah: I believe you ... I've seen your TV!! LOL
mike (you'll always be hick to me LOL): maybe the complacency will set in when I reach YOUR age .. hmmm ... you'll always have me beat there LOL
deb: 867-5309, right? ;)
Okay now wait a fucking minute... how the HELL you missing my face around here with all this action?!!??!
Honestly Doz, you'd do fine without me.
And I just want to add that barely ANY of these people commented on my blog today...
so
nananananananana
I only have two pairs of shoes.
just two, not expensive by any means... but comfy.
one black, one brown.
Hey that's my number 867-5309.
And just for the record....I beat Deb AND Kathi this morning so.... *sticks tongue out*
naughty one: I always miss you ;) ... oh, and I have a hard time feeling sorry for you that hardly any of my nine commenters didn't contribute to the 150+ comments on your blog ... even though a full 1/3 of them did ... so :P
jenn: I got it, got it! for a good time, for a good time call!!
and I love it when the chicks fight to be on top ;)
I get two things out of coming to your blog, Dz. One, of course, is fortifying my daily dose of YOU and, reading these comments. I love how it goes back and forth and the dialogue continues. I think it's wild!
And about the one-upmanship..so true, so true. Girls are the same way. That's why I hang out with guys. Too much territorial crap with the girls. Too much drama, too much mouth. Guys tend to be funnier and more interesting to hang with. (:
wonderfulness: you're right .. guys are funnier and more interesting to hang with ... until it's time for sex ... then women rule ;)
well ... probably not for you LOL
go back to work!
awwwww, jen...it's on now!! :)
I don't give a fizzuk dozr, all these ladies can have ya.
JUST KIDDING.
(i find the best way to get your attention is to pretend I don't want ya)
So, yeah girls.. have at him. He's apparently all pissy over my comments section anyway.
ooh ... it's on!!
naughty one: and here I was thinking you were tired of my over attention? LOL
and I don't get "pissy" ... though I do pout lOL
Well....at least ya didn't think I was arrogant....lol
Awe, I used to love that song too, Dzer!
Jenn----your picture----STOP! (??) What happened to that beautiful sunrise? You're kinda cute when you stick your tongue out at me though...........hmmm....
Okay, wait. If there's tongue sticking I wanna see it.
Dzr... you pouting? HAH. no.
K, where I lives one-uppedness... ?uhhh.
We get to watch the late night programs earlier.
we actually have SEASONS.
we already have snow.
and Im about to enjoy it this weekend.. ON MY SNOWBOARD!
Biotch.
Deb~funny story about that sunrise (oh, and how did you know it wasn't a sunset? Smart cookie) I was in Chicago with my friend and we had an awful view of the other side of the hotel. But I was up at 4:30 am and found out that if I leaned out of the window, I had that beatiful view. I had to wake my friend up to see it. She was pissed at first but admitted that it was a great beginning to the day. :)
I decided to change my pic to go with my name.
*insert more tongue* (take that anyway you want to, hehehehe)
Apparently my STOP sign is irritating people. I thought is was better than my pussy picture!
mike: nah ... just old ... old timer LOL
deb: Used to like? wtf?
naughty one: we have seasons — rainy and dry. LOL. And you want to brag about snow? we'll see how you're feelin in February when it's STILL 86° Fahrenheit here
*sticks you with my tongue*
jenn: I think the stop sign fits you ... though maybe people think it's blunt and abrasive. I think you should find a "dangerous curves" sign ... THAT would be perfect!! ;)
Ok, too weird----->
I thought this was more appropriate and so did you, lol.
But I don't think I have the dangerous curves.
Oh, BTW, my curves are pretty dangerous!
just for the record:
i have 43 pairs of shoes. that's not including sneakers of any kind....all stilleto/high heeled shoes.
i'll still kick your ass in anything though!
chrisse: hey ... I'm the one who made the lap dancing pic! you never actually gave me one ... though I dreamed about it .... and still do ... and I love it on the rare occasions you let me one up you ... or get one up in you ... or something like that LOL
jenn: all women's curves are dangerous to men ;)
buttah: I'd like to see you try ... no; seriously ... I really would ... *bends over slightly*
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