Lewd, rude and tattooed ...

For those of you who have bothered to scroll down along the right side of my blog to learn more about me (I'm guessing two or three folks at most), you would know that I have four tattoos. Since I don't have anything deep to write about tonight (like I ever do), I thought I'd share them with you.

These are cropped photos for two reasons: 1. To show as much tatt detail as possible; and 2. To spare you from seeing any more of my fat, flabby flesh than you absolutely need to.

I give myself bonus points because none of these are the "typical" tattoos you see on so many people. No barbed wire. No butterflies. No tribal banding. None of these were chosen out of a book. I brought in each and every one and had the tatt artist make a template for the tatt, and then took the originals back with me.

Oh, and my godsons love how I have "pictures" on my skin. Their mom and dad don't know it, but on their 18th birthday, Nino is gonna hook them up! LOL

This is my first tattoo. No, it's not completely original, but it is very cool. Comic book fans will recognize this as the logo of "The Punisher" of Marvel Comics fame. Not the movies. Those all sucked major ass. But in the world of comics, Frank Castle was THE man! And I love the stylized skull. I really do wish it was a bit more crisp, and yes, I know that I have to get some touch-up work to even out the black.

Tattoo No. 2 was something of a whim. I kind of collect kokopelli images, art, knick-knacks, etc. I think the kokopelli looks pretty cool, and I love the mythos attached to the imagery. The kokopelli comes from the American Southwest and is found in a number of different Native America mythology, though most strongly with the Anasazi. You want to know more? Google it, ya lazy bastiches.

Tatt No. 3 was the most painful one I got. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise — high-speed repetitive piercing of your skin by a metal needle hurts; it's all about degree of pain. I've heard ankle tatts are pretty painful because the bone is so close to the surface of the skin, but a needle dancing across your spine HURTS! And I got it done with my then live-in girlfriend watching the whole time (Remind me to tell that story sometime. I don't think I'll ever hook up again because I used up all my significant-other points with her; she was just toooooo beautiful), so I couldn't even cry like the bitch I felt like. I toughed it out and only had one break ... "to smoke a cigarette." It's a tribal gecko, and all that matters is at the time SHE thought it was hot. I need to get someone to take a pic of it; it's hard to get the right angle shooting it by myself.

The cardinal rule with tattooing is to NEVER ink a woman's name into your skin, because no matter how much you love her and she loves you, it could end. The only exceptions are for your mom or female daughters. Ask my brother how much of a pain it was to cover up his ex's name over his chest (heart). Or the guy I saw in the tatt artist's book, who had his lady's name tattooed in six-inch tall letters across his shoulders. The cover on that took a LOT of ink ... LOL. This is the closest I'll ever come to putting a woman's name on my body — a cartoon version of a very special woman who, though I'm still friends with, will never again feel the way I still do about her. Oh well, that's life — all sucky and shit.