some miscellaneous meanderings ...

• Did you know that if you are a one-in-a-million person and live in either India or China, that there are more than 1,000 more just like you.

• More than 90 percent of the dust in your house is composed of dead skin cells. But relax; most of it's yours.

• Your fingernails and hair don't keep growing after you die; your skin contracts, making it seem as if they're still growing.

• Pity fucks should be the community-service that beautiful/handsome people have to perform.

• On a pound-for-pound basis, no place consumes more Spam annually than do the people of Guam.

• Going back to work after a two-day vacation is going to blow in the blowingest blowing way imaginable.

vacation, happy to get away ...

well, I'm not actually going away, but I am taking two days off during the middle of the week for some quality me time. That basically means vegging out and sleeping a lot.

I prefer to break up my vacation time into little chunks — week here, few days there — rather than take it all in one shot. Maybe that's because I'm not big on traveling and going places and doing things. When people find out I'm going on vacation, they ask me, "So what are you going to do?," I reply, "Nothing ... and a lot of it."

Because isn't that what a vacation is supposed to be all about, getting away from the monotony, craziness, tension, stress and general bleah that is the job? So why replace it with a crazed traveling schedule, flying somewhere, touring all over, dealing with hotel beds and meals, etc.? Most people I know who come back from one of those big vacations are actually relieved to get back to work — so they can recuperate from their vacation! They need vacations from their vacations.

Maybe I got all my traveling out of my system as a child in a military family, moving every two to three years and traveling all over the country and to some parts of the Pacific.

The most work-like stuff I plan to do is catching up on a few chores, doing 4 days worth of dishes (a character flaw, yes) and do 3-4 loads of laundry. Maybe, if I can break out of my laziness stupor, I will be able to summon the energy to sweep and maybe even mop. Don't look so stunned!!!

Hmm ... OK ... do look stunned. You got me there.

perfect harmony ruined ...

Has anyone seen the new Coke commercial? The one in which they take the melody from the classic "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" and changed the words to make the song super sucky. Remember the original? One of the most iconic commericals of all time! All these different people, of different races and different cultures, united by two things — a Coke and a song.

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company

I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land


It was a cool song. It was a cool commercial.

And now it's ruined.

"I'd like to teach the world to chill?" What the fuck is that?

I appreciate the need to attract new and younger consumers. But this shouldn't be the price. Come up with a new song, a new melody. Don't ruin the good thing.

But then again, this is from the company that brought the world "New Coke." Idiots.