just a week left ...

... till Christmas is here. Well, that's the case for me anyway. Most of you folks have a whole 7-1/2 days! LOL

I've noticed a lot of people that are exhibiting a bit of holiday stress — at the office, at stores, on the roads, etc.

As for me ... I'm feeling extra Christmassy this year. Today I watched "Love Actually" and "It's a Wonderful Life" and it jacked up my level of holiday happiness. I wrapped a few more presents ... only have about 5 or 6 left to wrap. I need to take a pic of the pile sitting out in my living room ... adn I need to make sure I get the ones for godkids and whatnot delivered over to the house early for once, instead of the night of the opening of presents! LOL

I've been listening — and singing along — to Christmas carols most of this weekend ... OK, and even during the week, especially at work. I really like Andy Williams' take on most of them ... just bought an Elvis Christmas CD recently and need to upload that to iTunes.

That being said ... I miss having Christmas at HOME.

I do Christmas now at other people's homes. I love them and they're like family, but it's not the same.

I guess that's why I've never bothered to go beyond my tiny little fiber-optic Christmas tree sitting on top of a corner shelving unit. I mean, I could go out and get a tree tomorrow — they're on sale because this is a glut year for the island. Here, because everything has to be shipped in by container — can't just be trucked up or down from another state — there are two kinds of Christmas tree years: 1. The trees sell out after about 2 weeks after Thanksgiving and there are no real trees to be found anywhere; 2. There are so many trees that you kick yourself if you spend $70 on a tree because about 8 days later, that tree is only $25.

So right now, most trees are about $25. A stand would cost me another $12 or so. But I would also need tree lights, ornaments and other things, like ribbons or garland. That's far too much effort and cost for a tree that will just sit in my living room and not really be for anything.

Maybe next year. Maybe.

OK ... I'm going to go watch "Love Actually" again and do some manly weeping.
Judy to Jack: "All I want for Christmas ... is you."

Jamie: "It's my favorite time of day, driving you."
Aurelia (in Portuguese): "It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you."

Daniel: "Well, you know — I thought it might be something worse."
Sam (incredulous): "Worse than the total agony of being in love?"
Daniel: "Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony."


Mark (on posterboard) to Juliet: But for now, let me say ... Without hope or agenda ... Just because it's Christmas ... And at Christmas you tell the truth ... To me, you are perfect ... And my wasted heart will love you ... Until you look like this ... (holds up picture of a mummy)

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• It's unclear exactly what the original name of Guam was, since the Spanish really didn't go out of their way to understand or preserve the original Chamorro language. Chamorro activists like to use "Guahan," but some have argued that the name was actually "Baum." We'll never know ... unless/until we find a way to go back into time.

DZER has got some set of balls!!

Well, the appeal has been successful!

On Friday, Dec. 2, I put up the post all i want for christmas ... which was about how I really, REALLY wanted to get a set of the holiday balls from Jack in the Box.

A lot of you promised that you would get some balls to me. I'm happy to report that the very first set of balls has come in!! WAHOOO!!!!

This is a complete set of balls: the three holiday balls — rudolph jack, snowman jack, and new year's jack — as well as a new, normal jack.

MAD PROPS go out to grainne, my fabulous friend from Florida! She's proven to me that it's not just psycho hosebeast superslut liars that come from Florida, that there are good people there too. LOL

A little backstory on the wonderful, brilliant, superstar that is grainne: The only person I've known longer is Chrissie. I met and befriended both at a chat site, though in different rooms. *sly wink* I lost touch with grainne for a while until she stumbled upon my blog, and I'm glad she did. *goofy grins*

I'm also sure she is probably a little embarrassed and teary eyed reading this ... *pinching her butt* ... but probably also heavily relieved that I haven't been too detailed in what I revealed about her. LOL

Now, not to say that I doubt any of the many other promises to hook me up with holiday balls, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see what else comes in. If you have sent me some, thank you very much, and I will post a pic of me with your donated balls once they come in ;) ... wow ... that sounded WAY dirtier than even I intended! LOL

This set is going into the office with me for holiday display on top of my monitor ... I will take a pic of that once I get it set up.

Happy holiday balls to all, and to all a good balling!!

remember when you were young?

Bonus points to whomever knows the song and artist from whence came the above title. Wow. That was a LOT of proper-ass English! LOL

What are your first memories?

When I cast my mind back, the earliest cohesive memories I have are from about age 3. I have some flickers of memories from when I was 2-1/2, but none of them very pleasant.

When I was that age, I fell down at a beach. Had pain in my extremities and wouldn't eat. I don't remember any of that — it's what my mom's told me — you know something is wrong with one of the George boys when he won't eat — and what I've read in my medical records, which, unfortunately, aren't totally complete.

7SEP1971: Stomach ache x 3 days. 2-1/2 y.o. has complained of intermittent abd. pain over the weekend. Pain last short periods of time perhaps 3/day. ..... T cult. clear liquids. observe & ret.
- - - - - - - - - -
13SEP1971: Fall approx. 2 weeks ago. complaining of back pain. ... prob. back spasms
- - - - - - - - - -
18SEP1971: Still has back pain. walks w/ shuffling gait. .. child has been @ bed rest ... walk legs hurt. will get xray auth.
- - - - - - - - - -
20SEP1971: (patient) can't walk
- - - - - - - - - -
What I remember from this time is being in the hospital. It was a Naval Hospital here on Guam that was used to treat military personnel who suffered head and/or spinal wounds in Vietnam, so I was lucky in that there were top-flight surgeons there to operate on me. Even then I was giving a 50-50 chance of never walking again.

It was a traumatic time for me. I was the only kid there and was put in a ward all by myself — like 20 or 30 beds with just me there in a quiet hospital. My parents visited when they could, for the hours they could, but I ended up being alone and scared a lot.

I believe this is why I have a hard time eating certain foods. OK, I CAN’T eat certain foods — peas, lima beans, mixed vegetables, stew, beans … it was all stuff served up regularly by the hospital’s chow hall. So I mentally tie that food to the painful, lonely memories of a dark hospital. It’s not as bad now as it once was, when I would vomit at the taste — and sometimes even just the smell — of these dishes.
- - - - - - - - - -
29SEP1971: The patient was placed on the standard operating table in the prone position and the mid thoracic area was prepared by shaving it and scrubbing it with tincture of Betadine. It was draped in the usual sterile manner. The incision was made from T8 down to T11 in the midline and carried down through the subcutaneous tissue. The skin edges were maintained in a retracted position by means of Weitlaner retractors. The paravertebral muscles were dissected off the spinous processes of T8 down to T11 on both sides. These muscles were maintained in the retracted position by means of Weitlaner retractors. The interspinous ligament was cut. The spinous procees of T8 down to T11 was removed. Using sharp and blunt dissection, the lamina of T8-T11 was removed. At this point it was noted that there was vascular necrotic tissue at the area of T10 which was enveloping the dura. The tumor was limited outside the dura and it was occupying the vertebral canal. The capsule of this tumor had completely strangulated the dura at this level.
- - - - - - - - - -
That’s where the surgery records get cut off. I guess they were misplaced during one of the many moves the Air Force put us through over the years.

Basically, they cut out a tumor. Luckily, it turned out not to be malignant.
- - - - - - - - - -
7OCT71: three year old with 2 weeks history of progressive weakness in both lower extremities and back pain. X-Rays show vertebra plana; myelogram showed complete block at T-10. Biopsy compatible with eosinophilic ganuloma enveloping cord.

From 30 Sept to 7 Oct the patient received 6 x-ray treatments over a period of 8 days. the daily dose was 200 r.

50% reduction in size of mass, no reaction, no complication. Will follow with neurosurgery service.
- - - - - - - - - -
(from a letter written by the commander of the Orthopaedic Department at the Naval Hospital in Oakland)

25SEP1973: Postoperatively his neurologic symptoms were corrected and he has done well; he was held in a brace for an undisclosed period of time. Apparently the brace has either broken or the patient has outgrown it.

On admission to this facility the patient was a well-developed, well-nourished 4-1/2 year old who was in no distress. There was a well-healed 6” midline scar over the mid-lower thoracic spine. There was no clinical kyphosis nor palpable defect underlying the scar. Neurologic examination was normal with no evidence of long tract signs. Deep tendon reflexes and sensation were intact, sphincter tone was normal. NO muscle wasting was evident, no pathological reflexes were noted. There was no marked increase in lordosis nor was any pelvic tilting evident on standing.

The rest of the letter is about putting me in a body jacket made of Orthoplast to prevent spine curvature, and how they had to send it from Oakland to Guam because my father and I had to return to Guam prematurely because of a death in the family (my grandmother, my dad’s mom).

On the previous brace, my mom has told me that I was a holy terror in that thing. I was supposed to be restricted in movement and not go overboard … so of course I ran around all the time and climbed trees and what not. My mom broke a toe on the brace once when she tried to give me a little swiping ass kick to make me slow down. Heh.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The construction of the current Naval Hospital on Guam began in 1953 and opened in 1954. In September 1965, the hospital began receiving casualties from Vietnam via medevack flights. Within three months, the average patient load increased from about 100 to more than 300, and in 1968 and 1969 often exceeded 700.

"what if" moments ...

There are key moments in every person's life at which a decision is made that affects their lives from there on out. And not all of these life-changing choices are big deals. I'm not talking necessarily about the more notable things in life — which college to go to, keep the baby or not, quit the job or stay, move to a new town or stay where you're at.

No, I mean the things that don't seem critical or crucial until after you make the decision. Or until days or weeks or months or years later.

What if ...

... I would have stuck with my training regimen from ninth-grade football throughout high school when I moved to Guam? Could I have played at a big-time college program? Could I have made the pros?

... I didn't try to be the tough guy in front of my friends and had just let that insult slide? What if I had avoided that fight that fucked up my shoulder? How much pain and suffering would that have avoided?

... I had kissed her on the night of the dance instead of being afraid and just driving her home? Why didn't I ask her to be my girlfriend first?

... I would have ignored the woman I met online who turned out to be a total nutjob lying opportunistic greedy whore instead of hooking up with her for far too long?

... I would have met a certain person a year earlier? What if I had done more to make that work? What if I had made sure she visited me before him?

... I never had gone to the strip club that night? What if I had never offered her a place in my home? How much money would I still have left? LOL

... I had gone to the wedding?

... I had jumped in the pond that day in grade school? Would I have rescued him? Or would I have drowned too?

... my mom and I had left a couple hours earlier to pick up Pop? Would we have been on time to save him?

It really doesn't pay to think about these kinds of things too often or too deeply. But sometimes I do.

The early HNT from GUAM!
Yes, it's Wednesday for most of you. But for me it's almost Thursday. Enjoy!

As if! LMAO

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• What if the ancient Chamorros would have slaughtered every European ship and explorer that set foot on Guam or any other Micronesian island?

just a quickie ;)

• Another older erotica piece (freshly edited) is up at DZEROTICA.

Enjoy!!

vote who DZER most resembles!!

A little bit of fun and frivolity for your Tuesday blogging pleasure:

It's time to play that classic game — Who Does DZER Look Like?!?

OK ... not so much "classic" as fun.

OK ... not so much "fun" as "didn't have anything else creative to blog about today.

Geez. You people can suck the fun out of ... Fun Fucking Fridays at Fun-Land ... or something similarly fun.

You all know that I'm a big guy. OK, technically I'm fat.

You all know that I keep my head shaved, at least you do if you've looked an any of my pics. I'm not bald, just shaven-headed.

That combination often evokes imagery of other famous fat, shaven-headed folks.

On any given day, someone comes up to me and asks me if I'm related to one of the following three people:
Buddha, left; Curly, center; and Uncle Fester, right.

Seriously, if you couldn't identify these three cultural icons, you have no business being on my blog. Or anyone's blog. Or on a computer, for the love of Pete. Pete who? Are you fucking kidding me? You don't know Pete? That's it. Leave. NOW!!!

Whew. Excuse me there. I think I need some meds. LOL

OK ... and now for the comparisons:

So what do you think? Am I a Buddha-Belly Baby? A Crunky Kickin' Curly? Or a Fucking Freaky Fester?

Your vote counts! Vote early, vote often!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Your Random Guam Fact Of The Day minutes have been exceeded. Please try again later.

one more prezzie pic ..

... little montage of three more I wrapped last night :)

the one on the left looks killer in real life. I need to figure out some better lighting ... should ask the photogs at work ... make a little mini studio in my bedroom ... could then use it to help strippers with the "portfolios" ... and then could put up a few poles in the second bedroom ... in case they need practice space ... heh

I keeeeeeel me. heh.

quick bit of news ..

• the links list has been updated. if you should be on there but aren't lemme know.

• there's a new post (but old story) up at DZEROTICA, entitled "happy anniversary." I think it was the third or fourth, maybe fifth, short story erotica I ever wrote. Enjoy.

• Busy weekend with lotsa posts — if you haven't been here in a few days, scroll down ... and down ... and down. Christmas party updates and pics to boot.

bogey ... and bacall ...

You would never think that a man named "Humphrey" could ever be the coolest man that ever was. Not even a nickname can make that name cool — Hump? Humph? H? C'MON!

Yet Humphrey DeForest Bogart — and yes, that was his given name, not some kind of made up stage name — was the epitome of cool for decades. To many, he still is if not the epitome, then at least AN epitome of coolness. He was smooth and suave. He was tough as nails, but also smart as a whip — he was no mook. His characters were rough and ready, quick with a witty comment, smooth with the ladies.

It came across all his characters: Philip Marlowe, Sgt. Joe Gunn, Rick Blaine (MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE!), Sam Spade, Frank McCloud, Linus Larrabee. They were ladies' men. They were men's men. Snappy dialogue.

They were never invulnerable or perfect; a good sucker punch to the jaw would take him down. If he was jumped by two thugs, the thugs usually had their way. But not in the end. In the end, it was Bogey — maybe a little battered and bruised, but still alive and on top.

I love the dialogue of the old black-and-white movies, the film noir. The snappy patter between Bogey and his leading lady. Especially when she was Lauren Bacall. Now SHE was all about what women should be — beautiful, smart, tough. A perfect match for Bogey. God she was stunningly beautiful when she was a young thing. Such perfect bone structure. Her eyes, so sly and yet playful. God she had beautiful eyes. She gave come-hither looks like no one else. She had an amazing body too, but what was even more impressive was how she used it. She could go from coltish ingenue to man-eater at the drop of a hat. And boy did she look great in hats. She moved with a graceful economy of motion.

And that smile. That teasing, smirking smile. No other leading lady could do it quite the same. There've been some great smiles over time — Meg Ryan's put my insides into twists and brightened my soul — but nobody ever came even close to her smirk. And I should know ... I'm a smirk expert! LOL

There's this part of "The Big Sleep," when Bacall calls the police and Bogey takes the phone from her. The scene involves them handing the phone back and forth, giving the old razz-matazz to the desk sergeant on the other end of the phone. Watch them as they banter, as well as listen. Watch their eyes. They're constantly staring at each other and you can feel the spark and sparkle between them.

I watched several movies featuring Bogey over the weekend, including two featuring Bogey and Bacall — and their real-life romance was even more amazing than any on-screen relationship they had — on Turner Classic Movies. We need more actors like these two, and more movies like they made. Because let's face it ... how much of the crap that's turned out now is going to be anywhere close to watchable in 50 or 60 years like the old black-and-whites? For my money, it will be a small minority of the crap that's produced.



Plus, I miss the hat-and-trench-coat look. They need to bring it back. I'd have to find a tailor to make me a giant-ass trench coat, but man it'd be worth it to be able to ask some mook why he's pulled out the heater, then smack him around a bit and tell him to tell his boss to get lost, see? Then to take some dame with gams that go on forever and grab her and kiss her hard, to have her slap me before kissing me even harder.

Of all the blogjoints in all the world, you had to walk into mine ...

Blog it again, Sam. You blogged it for her you can blog it for me!

Round up the usual bloggers!

This is the beginning of a beautiful blogship ...

it's a wrap ...

just a little glimpse into the gift-wrapping madness that is DZER at Christmas time.

Please note that these are examples of my BASIC and ORDINARY wrap treatments. Heh.

Click the pics to see slightly larger, more detailed version. :)

I'll try to remember to take pics of one of the ELABORATE wraps later. LOL

the stack o' boxes. one of my faves.

basic red-and-green, with a snowman bonus

silver and blue. doesn't photograph well at night lol

stacked and tiered. hmm. might redo this to three separate presents. not sure I like how this looks, now that I see it onscreen. but the paper rocks — heavy and textured almost like plastic.

ribbon and bow look pink but are kind of a metallic white. I like this paper.

xmas party pics ...

... as promised
the smirk in FULL effect before the Christmas party. heh. and yes, I was in full jewelry accessory mode — three earrings that matched the watch.

a detail shot of the Christmas vest, made by DZER-Mom. It's holly leaves and berries against a field of Christmas green.

Me and co-worker L.

Me and co-worker O, far left, and T, in the middle.

as I noted previously, I rocked the emcee mic. just ask anyone who was there! seriously! heh.

got compliments from everyone I talked to, made folks laugh all night when I had the mic in hand, as a good emcee should, and always the laughing-with laughter, even when I poked fun at others. no one took it personally, the laughter was genial and fun in those instances, everyone was happy.

but was there ever really any doubt? I am that smooth and natural with a microphone. I AM Mr. Hammish H. Hammington. I'm also brilliant AND funny. But you know that — after all, you read it here every day!

OK, now that I've pumped my ego up to the size of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Float, back to reality.

• I didn't dance. Wasn't even asked to. Usually some of the younger reporter chickadees try to get me out on the dance floor, but I think I've finally trained them not to ask. Also, I've perfected that "I'm not dancing" face. Heh.

• I didn't get drunk. I did have a few beers over the course of the evening, but nothing stronger. I don't do the whole "get-drunk" thing anymore. It's far more interesting to see other people who do still do the get-drunk thing, and what they do when they do do it. doobie-doobie-doo.

• I forgot to take my prize payment and accidently raffled it off with the rest of the presents. Oh well, c'est la vie. It was only lunch for two at a hotel restaurant.

• Even though I really didn't want to be there, I actually had fun, for the most part. I did miss out on a poker game that, from what I've heard, had a lot of good action and a few suckers. Fuck.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Random Guam Fact Of The Day is temporarily out of service. Please try again soon.

christmas party and then some ...

back from the company christmas party.

it was fun. no, really.

I was outstanding as emcee, naturally. it's not bragging if it's true, yeah?

lots of pics, but don't feel like dealing with them tonight, so you're stuck waiting, all three of you who bother reading this blog on the weekends.

and no, I didn't dance.

HOUSEKEEPING

the links section will be updated this weekend. yes alex and suze, it means I will finally get my favorite brit bloggers up on the list. anyone else i'm missing? holla.

might be playing with the template some. still not sure what I wanna do with it.

also plan to get off my ass and finish up an erotica story or two. keep an eye out. (there's the eye thing again).

the latest installment of Jingle George is up. Click here to check it out.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Chamorro phrases that sound dirty when translated into English but really aren't: "Un fatto." "Matto hao."