Saturday, October 15, 2005

DZEROTICA is up and running ...

The link is just over to the right.

Right now I only have a couple of things posted: A three-part erotica featuring Rick and Gina, and one other piece of erotica.

I've set it up so there's only one post per page, as some of these are a bit long, but you can read them individually by checking out "previous posts" on the right side of the page. The inter-connected pieces will have links at the bottom to part 2, 3, etc.

I've started working on some new pieces, both erotica and otherwise, so those will go up as they are completed, though I have promised to debut at least one on Everything Nice's Web site, so keep an eye out for me over there.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
The Random Guam Fact Of The Day will become much more random, and not some much daily.

Friday, October 14, 2005

video killed the radio star ...

Well, kiddos ... my new digital camera also has a video feature. It's not great video, and there's no audio to go along with it, but I can still showcase movin' pictures for ya'll.

The following video was shot during my lunch break, in my truck, as I drove to the bookstore. It's East Agana Bay.

Damn I hope this works LOL

Upload Video at

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• East Agana Bay is a popular area for families to barbecue, because the water is nice and shallow for the kids, and it's also popular with those who have personal motorized watercraft, windsurfing boards and the like, again because it's relatively shallow, has a large area of water between the reef and the beach, and it's almost always very calm. Motorized watercraft are banned from the waters during the "run" of indigenous fish, the ie'ie' and the maƱahac.

foliage; lunchtime

sprawling and spreading
constantly extending
creeping ever forward
voraciously hungry
a rising wave of foliage
coming to envelop all

where were you today?
I thought we were supposed to have lunch.
I waited for a half hour
nibbling on breadsticks
calling your phone, gettting your voicemail
if you didn't want to come
you could have told me you were busy
now I'm still hungry
especially for an explanation

Thursday, October 13, 2005

HNT mutha-fuckas!!

Sit and spin.

Eat me.

Fuck off.

Screw you.

And the horse you rode in on.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Chada i namu!

sun slips silently, silkily, somberly

a last gasp of sunshine
before the world turns again
the hand of a drowning man
pleading for a savior

a subtle shading of blues
echoing the mood of sol
from light to progressive dark
fearing, yet welcoming, the black

a speck in the distance
barely visible against failing light
wanting, yearning for recognition
but the dimness is just too quiet

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

centennial post with the most!!

Well, loyal blog readers (all few of you), today marks my

OK, so it's not a big deal. So sue me. I've been having a very shitty week and needed SOMETHING to be happy about.

So I was typing up a comment to a post on Sassinak's blog (oh yeah, it's all about the refers, baby) and I came to a decision. I am going to start minimalizing my life. Not because I need to or have to or anything like that — I haven't joined some weird religious cult, I'm not moving into a teeny tiny apartment. But because I really don't need so much of the stuff that I have.

For example: I have three TVs. I only watch one. The other two — one a 13-inch combination TV/VCR — are in a closet. I have 6 plastic bookshelves and 8 or 10 wooden/fake wooden ones. I have hundreds of books I will never read or reread. I have clothes that I haven't worn in years, and likely won't. I have dishes and plates and plastic containers that I never use and likely never will. I have all this cool stemware for my home bar, but I don't really drink. More to the point, I don't have people over. But when I moved in, I figured a "bachelor" pad needed some kind of bar, including all the right glasses.

I have hundreds of videos I don't watch. I have dozens of CD's I don't listen to, now that almost all of them are uploaded on my iTunes. I have a cd player/boombox deal that hasn't been used in years. I have hundreds upon hundreds of comic books that I no longer read.

The list goes on and on and on.

So what will I do?
This is what I'm going to do, what I've already started to do. I'm going to clean and categorize all of my extra stuff. I will then take all the big stuff and put a classified ad in the newspaper. After a week or so, I will hold a yard sale — or, in my case, an apartment sale. Clear out my living room entirely and just put all the stuff I'm selling there. Anything that doesn't go will be given to The Salvation Army or Goodwill — or tossed into the dump.

I will repaint my living room. I will set it up to be my poker room. It will be tastefully decorated with my photos, knickknacks and bric-a-brac (yes, fuckers, I have bric-a-brac. Wanna make something of it?).

I will next fix up my bedroom — new coat of paint, redo the closet, get a new bed, move the loveseat in there, refinish my dresser.

The spare bedroom will be kept as empty as possible, in the event I decide to sublet it out. It will serve as storage, if nothing else, and a sort of wrapping center for my Jingle George stuff.

By next year, my home will be eminently suitable for company. I will be able to host poker night and not be embarrassed by how shitty my place looks. I will have a bedroom a woman will be proud to be fucked in ... well, at least she won't have to be blind-drunk to consent to be fucked there. Or something like that. Not that I'm getting women blind-drunk and then molesting them. I just mean my bedroom sucks, OK? Geez. Some people. I'm desperate, but I'm not a deviant felon (though I can be deviant).

The bad news is this: No one from the blogosphere can visit me at home until January. If you come to Guam, I will hook you up with a good hotel.

Head's up!
I also soon will start posting some older erotica and poetry and stuff on another DZER blog ... DZEROTICA. Isn't it great just how nice that fits in? It just melds, blends and connects.




Blam! I'm pissed I never thought of it sooner! LOL All this time I could have been using that and didn't. Damn.

The site also will feature new short stories, erotica and poetry as I write. And I have recently been inspired to write again. I lost tons of poetry and short stories when I lost my Web site and my last computer crashed and burned ... I knew I couldn't just redo it all, and losing so much hurt that I didn't really feel like writing much anymore.

Luckily, Chrissie had saved a bunch of my stuff (thanks!), especially my erotica, which used to be hosted on her old Web site. So I will start with that stuff, and gradually add more.

Excited? No? Screw you then! I AM excited! LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam hosts a memorial to the brave canines who served alongside the Marines in World War II. The War Dog Memorial, located on Big Navy, honors the 25 dobermans who gave their lives in service to their country.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

A miscellany of multiple, marvelous, mellifluous meanderings ...

Flooded apartment update: Fucking fuckers!

Got it all cleaned up and bagged, with a few newspapers put down to soak up the odd amount of leftover water. Woke up to find more water. Apparently, turning off the valve on the water heater, and the circuit to the water heater, wasn't enough to prevent the leak. So I get to clean it all up AGAIN.

So the same company sends more plumbers over, say they will call with an estimate. Guy's telling me it will be expensive because 20-gallon lowboy waterheaters are more expensive that bigger water heaters. Three hours of labor or so, plus a $300-plus water heater, he's guessing, but will have details later. Guy never calls my cell, which is the number I gave him to call.

I get home, he has message on my machine. But he's out of the office and they won't give me his direct number, so they call him and then call me back. Estimate: $569. Fuck. But no breakdown of cost.

So I say hmm ... lemme call a hardware store. 20-gallon lowboy water heater, electric, fits the bill, etc. — $230.95. Yep; plumbing company #1 tried to fuck me over — big time. $338 for three hours labor? Fuck that shit.

So I call another company. Guy tells me the water heater will cost about $230 to $240, but he'd have to check. Labor for 2-3 hours of work — $100. Miscellaneous parts (valves, hoses, etc.) — max fo $50. So $380 for the entire job, or just $42 more than the first fuckers were gonna charge me pretty much for labor and general ass-reaming.

So not only will plumbing company No. 1 never get any business from me, but I will bad-mouth them to anyone and everyone who ever mentions plumbing, leaks, water, water heaters or anything else even minutely close to plumbers. Ass-munching goat-fuckers!

Happier thoughts
Well, at least I won't have to be in the office early. In fact, I'm not expected in till after lunch — woohoo!

Time for some fun. I stole the following from Lilith who in turn stole it from Wendi. I answered it in Lilith's comments, but liked it so much I'm gonna post it here.

What you do is go to Google.

Type in "(your name here) needs" — Remember to use the quotes!!

Look at the five Web sites that say you need something and use different Web sites.

What are the 5 things you need?

Here are my results: Oh, and I went to Yahoo! instead of Google.

Duane needs ....
... a new computer. How did they know I lust after the new 17-inch G-5 PowerBooks?

... to have lung surgery. Fuck! I quit smoking almost a full year ago! If I have to have surgery, I'm smoking again!!

... volunteers. It's true. Only you can help Duane help Duane. Umm ... the ladies that is. Guys — wash the truck please.

... sponsorship. Duane is brought to you the letters "D" and "G" and by the numbers 6 and 9. But I could use some paid sponsorship.

... something to do. Hmm ... that should have been "Duane needs female someone to do! I already have to much work plus all this bloggin' and commenting. I need more?

More fun!!
OK ... stole this one from the guammie girl's site:

Sloganize your name!

My results:

• You too can have a DZER like mine!

• Duane — It looks good on you!


Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• It's still fucking raining on Guam. Rainy season is in full effect baby. Bring on the morose moods!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

still no dog ... but that is likely to soon change ...

To the many (two) faithful (?) readers of this blog that asked me about the dog — which I said I was planning on getting on the weekend — I have some sad news for you. I am still poochless. Sans canine. Without mutt. Lacking puppy. Still needing a hound. Minus a mongrel.

You get the point.

I didn't get around to doing the necessary cleanup. Big surprise to anyone who knows me. I'm a serial procrastinator, plus I general dislike the chore of cleaning. Put those together and you get my current situation — constantly planning to clean up my apartment and never getting around to doing it.

Are you disappointed? You shouldn't be; you should know me better. And if you don't know me better, how can you be disappointed? Screw you for imposing your moral standards and social mores on me!


Anyway, that's all beside the point now.

Because God has decided to punish me for not getting a dog. You think He wouldn't? That He's too busy with other things to worry about whether or not I have a pooch? A canine? A mutt? A ... you get the point.

Well; you're wrong.

Think about it: What is God spelled backward? For the dyslexic and other challenged folk, the answer is "dog."

And it's a known fact (kinda) that all dogs go to heaven. And the main part of the word "dogma," which is faith, is, again, "dog."

So where's my proof?

Well, I woke up early after going to sleep around 2:30 a.m. How early? Around 7-ish. I never wake up that early, or if I do, I'm playing golf or going back to sleep, since I don't have to be awake until at least 9 a.m. I didn't have golf and I wouldn't voluntarily give up two hours of sleep without a good reason. I tried going back to sleep and couldn't. Just kinda tossed and turned. So I got out of bed, deciding to just stay up.

Good thing I did — there was water all over my living room and seeping to other parts of the apartment. Fuck ... me.

The plumbers, who couldn't get here until 9:45 a.m., found that my water heater is pretty much rusted through the bottom, leading to the indoor flooding. It needs to be replaced, which my landlord will have to cover, but in the meantime I will have to go without hot showers for a while. And I get to clean up tons of wet newspapers that I had to use to stop/soak up the water. I had two bundles and it still wasn't enough; I had to pick up more from circulation on the way home from work.

I still have yet to clean up. I keep looking at these piles of wet newspapers and not wanting to clean it all up. I will, I just will hate it. I'm guessing four or five garbage bags — the lawn size — filled with wet, heavy newspapers. And I still will have to lay down some more papers to soak up the rest of the water. And then clean that stuff up.

Bleah. Double bleah.

Which means I need to go get a dog. This weekend.

Or who knows what will happen to me.

Which means I have to clean — and beyond the newspapers.

Bleah. Double bleah.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• It rained all night and pretty much all day here. The weather sucks. And I kind of like it that way.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

fun sunday ...

Today, I had brunch with a bunch of friends to celebrate my friend R's birthday. It was a belated celebration, and we usually do a fancy dinner thing, but she was off-island on her actual birthday and brunch just sounded right this year. Plus, it meant that kids could come along.

We went to the island's top resort, which has a killer brunch deal. For $28, you get all you can eat — tons of entrees, a huge Japanese station with tempura, sushi, sashimi and hot noodles, a roast pig carving station, an omelette station, and a teppanyaki station, not to mention deserts, breads, fresh fruit and free wine (both red and white), champagne, beer, punch and coffee. The price includes tax and tip, and you also get a free game of bowling on their lanes, located right across the restaurant.

The food, by the way, is great. Seafood lovers are very happy here, with lots of fresh shellfish and fish.

Nothing like taking a good two hours plus to lounge over food, enjoy the conversation of friends, go back to the various stations time and time again ... and then go bowling.

Here's me with my godsons, on the left and middle, and their cousin on the right. I love these kids and always have fun around them, though my legs pay for countless rounds of "horsie" and my arms and shoulders burn from the "pick me up" game. It doesn't help that the big godson — the one on the left — still thinks he weighs like 80 pounds less than he actually does. I need to start working out to keep up with him.
Here I am in all my bowling glory! Actually, I pretty much suck now — averaging about 120. I was a lot better when I was a kid, when I averaged like 170 or so, and in my teens I was usually up in the 180s. Gave up bowling for a long time, but it's fun to do it now and again. I just hate that I can remember being good but that I'm not good anymore. LOL.
OK, these are way too cute for a man to be wearing, I know, but when I saw them at the store counter yesterday, I couldn't resist, especially since my left ear has two piercings perfectly placed to make it look like some tiny being took off his slippers before crawling in my ear LOL