Saturday, January 14, 2006

on turning 37 ...

Sunday, Jan. 15, 2006 — the DZER turns 37. Yep, I was born Jan. 15, 1969. The first day of the year, the last year of the SIXTIES, was a Wednesday, which means I was born on a Wednesday.

The news, the year I was born:
Man walks on the moon for the first time. One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind. Or, as the Onion headlined the event — HOLY SHIT: MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON ... LOL

Also, Richard Nixon became president. Dwight D. Eisenhower dies. The battle that came to be known as "Hamburger Hill" is fought in Vietnam; the first U.S. troop withdrawal happened in 1969. Manson Family murders are committed. Hurricane Camille. The My Lai Massacre.

Sports, the year I was born:
Pele scored his 1,000th goal. The underdog Jets beat the Colts in Super Bowl III. Mickey Mantle retires from baseball. The Miracle Mets win the World Series.

Cultural happenings, the year I was born:
Woodstock, like, happens, man. The first every ATM is installed. Damn; I didn't know that! LOL ... the first ARPANET link is established — it's considered to be the progenitor of the Internet. The first Boeing 747 takes its maiden flight.

Damn. That was one busy fucking year! LOL

And now, a word from the astrologer ...

By Stella Wilder

Born today, you are a deeply conscientious individual, always taking into account the feelings of others as you make your way in the world. You understand better than most just how important it is to acknowledge your connection and interacting with other people, and you realize that it is impossible to be entirely self-sufficient or solitary in any endeavor. A born leader, you nevertheless know how to talk to people in an everyday, common fashion that invites loyalty and cooperation; you never get cocky or condescending in your relationships with others *cough*bullshit*cough* ... LOL

When it comes to your personal life, you can be rather secretive and aloof — but this is not likely to be a problem so long as others do not try to impose on you in any way. When you feel your back is against the wall, you can become protective of yourself and those under your care.

Also born on this date are, from left to right: Martin Luther King Jr., civil rights leader; Margaret O'Brien, actress; Aristotle Onassis, shipping tycoon; Charo, actress and entertainer; Jean-Baptiste Moliere, playright and poet.

OK ... that's enough now. More birthday-related posts, facts, remembrances and photos later, people. Yeah ... I can tell from your enthusiastic outcries that you can't wait for more. LOL

day-before-the-birthday birthday dinner ...

The tradition with my good friends here is we go out to nice restaurants to celebrate each others' birthday. The birthday person eats and drinks for free (and gets prezzies! yay!); the others pay for their own food and beverages, and split the cost of the birthday honoree.

So earlier this night, we did just that, minus one guy who's off-island (and thus owes me! hah! LOL). The restaurant of choice: The Guam Hilton Resort & Spa's Roy's Restaurant!! Super good food. Those of you who might have tried the place in Hawaii or elsewhere are lucky; it's chef Roy Yamaguchi's fantabulous chain.

So here's a little bit of the dinner, since you all have become accustomed to my food posts. Hope you enjoy looking at these as much as I enjoyed eating and drinking them!

I got there first — I'm always on time and everyone else is always late. I decided to loosen up a bit and ordered an Absolut kamikaze on the rocks.

Not pictured: My friend and boss ordered ahead and made sure there was a chilled bottle of champagne for us to enjoy before the meal. Silly me actually thought for a bit that it was provided by the restaurant because of who I am and because it was my birthday. Ooops ... my hubris got me shot down. LOL

But later, the waiter did bring me another Absolut kamikaze on the rocks on the house because it was my birthday! Woohoo to free booze!

A very tasty flat bread is served with an olive mix-mash thing in oil. Damn this stuff is GOOD!

I went off my usual page with this appetizer — a spinach sald rolled up, dipped in tempura batter and then flash fried. I usually have one of the salads or the crabcakes. This was very tasty though, so I was by no means disappointed. The sauce on the tomatoes is a spicy jalepeño deal; nice and piquant.

Not my meal, but a dinner companion's very tasty sushi roll. She couldn't decide between a variety of items, so went with a three-appetizer dinner — escargot to start; then the cream of lobster and zucchini soup; then this hearty sushi roll. Not a bad idea, though I need something heartier for my main course. LOL

My main course was the filet mignon, medium, served with mashed potatoes. I wish they would have told me they butterflied it; I would have ordered it more medium rare/rare. Oh well; the premium steak cut melted in my mouth it was so tender. Mmmmmmm... But, it would have been a little better if it had been a little more bloody.

A free dessert, courtesy of the restaurant, which came along with ALL the waiters singing a happy birthday song, which included the manager playing guitar. Pics of that to come!

This was a take on a pineapple-upsidedown cake (which, coincidentally, is my FAVORITE cake of all time) with fresh berries and other fruits. Tasty.

I love Roy's coffee. They use this fancy coffee-maker. The water in the bottom bowl is heated from below with a flame. When it reaches a certain temperature, the water rushes up to the top bowl, which is filled with Kona coffee. After it percolates a bit, the flame is taken away, the coffee cools and seeps down to the bottom again, leaving the grounds up top. Nothing beats finishing off a great meal like a great cup of coffee ... except perhaps a cigarette or cigar ... *sigh* ... of course, I didn't indulge in the tobacco, though I wish I could have. LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Chamorro phrase for "birthday" is "kumple años."

DZER is eee-ville ...

OK ... thanks to Tequila Girl, it is now clear that I am one evil bastard! LOL

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eighth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Eighth Level of Hell: The Malebolge

Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche.

The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart.

When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

Friday, January 13, 2006

funny thing about spelling ...

Here's a little something I got in the e-mail awhile back ... thought I would share with other folks who like/love words.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Naet, huh? It's wierd how our midns wrok.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Chamorro was a completely oral language originally. It's only been in the relatively recent past that there was an effort to make the language a written one. However, there still is a lot of argument/disagreement over orthography and spelling ... as, I guess, is natural when you try to make an oral language into a written one.

don't got much today ...

Work was relatively OK today, except my weekly community meeting. There were some very differing views at extreme ends of the spectrum and it got a bit ... loud. Oh well; they can't all be sedate or entertaining.

Went to not one, but two poker games last night. The first started about 7 p.m., and I only went because my regular game wasn't starting until 9 p.m. and I was bored. LOL. Lost about $60 at the first table — mostly because I went all in for $40 in my last 5 minutes there on a Jack-10 in Texas Hold 'Em, mainly because it was my last 5 minutes and those were the best cards I'd seen in an hour and change. Someone else had King-9 suited, another guy called with pocket 7s. No paint on the flop, so the 7s took it down.

Then it was on to my regular game. I like the guys a lot — almost always a friendly and fun experience, though at times it can get vicious ... LOL. This was not one of those nights. I ended up winning $95, which means I finished the night plus $35, counting the $60 lost at the first game. Nobody lost big, and a few of the fellas brought some delicious, expensive dessert treats, so I figure I ate about $15 worth of goodies to boot. LOL

Since I'm not my normally effusive, effervescent and overly nattering self, I'm gonna provide you with a few more pics left over from yesterday's HNT possibles.

Also, be sure to check out Chrissie's blog today, as she's going to be posting a very naughty HNT pic of me! ;)

Here ya go:

What I'm trying to convey here: "Oh really?"

What I'm trying to convey here: "Oh ... really?"

Boy ... I just realized that I look REALLY drunk in this photo LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• One of the most popular poker games with Chamorros is "season," also called "padugi." The object of the game is to get one card of each suit. You can play either high or low season/padugi, or what's called "crazy padugi," which is a split pot game — half to the highest hand and half to the lowest. The best high hand is four aces (one of each suit); the best low is 4-3-2-1, again with one of each suit.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

spreading the (naughty) word of DZER ...

After an IM discussion with the very lovely, very horny Kim last week about a certain technique, I told her I would write up a little something in a guest author capacity for her to publish.

Well, I did and it's up. Check it out "Stand and Deliver" on Kim's blog.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

early HNT is here again ...

Hello there, all you sexy people (yes, you too, Mike ... LOL). Yet again, it's time for the early Half-Nekkid Thursday from Guam.

(waits for the roar of applause from the masses to die down)

As if ... LOL

Any way, I put this week's HNT possibilities through a very tough screener — Chrissie, who knows something about being half-nekkid (and fully nekkid, va-va-va-VOOM!), and about seeing me half-nekkid (and fully nekkid, va-va-va-not-so-much) ... LOL

Thanks to her, you will not see my scantily-haired arm pits (feels the collective sigh of relief out there in blogland). You also won't see upshots of my nostrils (unbelievably, an even LARGER sigh of relief).

So, without further ado ... I present the winning image (mostly for the dimple, I was told).

Yes, the smirk is still in effect. ;)

Also, there will bill a bonus DZER HNT tomorrow.

The aforementioned Chrissie will be posting a MUCH racier and naughty HNT image of DZER in her Half-Nekkid Thursday post tomorrow.

Are you ready for DZER gone wild?

I didn't think so ... most people — and ecosystems — are not. LOL

To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The Chamorro word for "ass" is "dagan," which is pronounced, roughly, "dot-gann."

dropping the bar of soap ...

Does anyone out there still use soap in the bar form? In any capacity? On the sink? In the bath or shower?

The bar of soap is anachronistic. It's outdated. I guess it's still seen as serviceable and functional on airplanes and in hotels. But even then, it's those little tiny bars, not the big, easy to drop in the shower, bar. I'm guessing that the time of the soap bar in these last two bastions is quickly running out.

If you are one of the folks still using the bar of soap, can I ask you a question?


No. Seriously. Why the BAR of soap, when there are so many other soap alternatives out there?

I'm guessing you use liquid soap for washing dishes ... unless you use the powdered soap for dishwashers. But still, that's not a bar!

I use liquid soap for the bathroom sink, and have pretty much since it came out. No soap scum on the sink or soapdish (and now the soapdish is moot!), no having it pop out of your hands onto the floor. Nope ... now it just a pump or two of liquid soap. Big giant refill bottles for when the little bottle is used up.

In the shower I use a liquid soap too — a nice, manly body wash. LOL ... no loufa ... I use one of those little roundish, fluffy scrubbers with the little rope handle. Shit ... I just found out that's also called a loufa. Or loofa. Oh well. LOL ... Anyway, the lather is amazing and easy. You can shower so much faster with a body wash than with a shampoo and washcloth.

So why are there still so many different kinds of bars of soap? I would have thought by now that there would just be a few bars of a few brands taking up a tiny part of the entire soap section of stores, but here still are tons of soap bars available.

I remember when growing up that we had two types of soap bars — regular bath and sink soap, and then Lava. Lava was for getting the really gunky shit off your hands, after working in the yard all day or on a car. The harsh lye of Lava.

The first liquid soap I can remember is from one of my uncle's farms. He had this stuff that was like industrial strength liquid Lava, meant for people who regularly had to clean grease and oil and that kind of crud from their arms. I think it was called ... shit, I can't remember now. LOL ... Though the best thing to clean off oil/grease is WD-40 (which now makes Lava, by the way!) and then a strong soap.

So ... any of you out there sticking by your bar of soap? Do you also have the watches you have to wind, and the Kodak camera with the square flash? LOL ... Just wondering!

Random Guam Fact Of The Day
• The Chamorro phrase for "bath soap" is "habon umo'mak."

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

just a quickie ...

• Meeting went OK. Actually, a lot of good discussion and ideas; it will be the implementation that will kick my ass, I'm sure. LOL

• Dentist said my wisdom tooth has a looooooong root that's close to the nerve. So, instead of attempting it himself, he is referring me to an oral surgeon. Better safe than FUCKING OUCH! So the pain is pushed back till NEXT Tuesday. Yay?

• Very hot chick waiting in the dentist office, wearing very shortie shorts (lots of leg!) and a tank top (cleavage — score). Her boyfriend was almost as hot as her! (Throws flag for overabundance of good genetics).

• Got served notice of jury duty today. Ugh. How much does THAT suck ass? Yep ... lots.

• That's it for now ... gots banners to do! ;)

Monday, January 09, 2006

tuesday is gonna suck ...

Tuesday is less than an hour away for me and I already know that it's not gonna be a great day for DZER.

I know this for various and sundry reasons, which I shall now list for you.

• I have to wake up a good hour and a half earlier than I normally have to get up on a weekend. The reason: A very big and important business meeting. We're going to be talking about making some major changes, and the discussion will start around 8 a.m. at a hotel in Tumon. That means waking up around 7:30 a.m. and getting out of the house within about 10 minutes to get there on time.

• The decisions that begin with this meeting could shake up my job, in both good and bad ways. I may end up getting a broader title, and thus broader (and more) duties. See? Both good and bad. LOL

• Right after the meeting, I get to go to my dentist — my new dentist. I had to leave my old dentist, who was amazing and super skilled, because it's just too difficult to get an appointment. The new guy has been OK so far, but tomorrow I get to have two teeth extracted — a molar and a crumbling, close-to-killing-me wisdom tooth, the last wisdom tooth I have left. I should have gotten it pulled years ago with another one of them, but figured hey, it's not hurting me; why bother? Ai ki diablo!
• My teeth suck. They don't look so bad when you're looking at me, thank goodness — I'm not doffe' at least! (Ask Oh So Wonderful for a definition! LOL) ... but I have some kind of weak enamel that makes it extra susceptible to decay. I've had parts of teeth fall off while chewing crunch food ... ugh, I know. I'm sure I'll be a posterboy for dentures before too long.

• I know for sure that I have pissed off one friend (my best one) because I was grumpy and feeling neglected and because I'm basically a whiny, bitching ass — despite the supercool, superfunny, Mr. Nice Guy image I cultivate LOL. So she's going to be mad at me for at least a day, if not longer, and somewhat justifiably so. Hopefully this open confession of my never-ending idiocy and this apology — I'm sorry — will ameliorate the situation.

• I'm pretty sure I've pissed off someone else too; or at least it's a good possibility once the person wakes up. LOL

• Also, I still have to fold and iron laundry, which I'm unlikely to get to tonight. Well, even if I did, I wouldn't finish until Tuesday ... in about 40 minutes. Bleah.

• I'm one day closer to turning 37; 5 days left till Sunday. Gadzoinks.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day
• One of Guam's nicknames is "The Gateway to Micronesia."

Yeah, it sucks as an RGFOTD ... but they can't all be winners.

lots of new photos ...

Check out DZER's Guam Pics for a bunch of new images of my tropical island paradise home.

Sunset photos ... including hot Guam babes. ... (you're welcome, murph!! LOL)

Flowers shot in darkness.

Cute little purple flowers.

More of the flowering shrubs, bushes and other cool flora of the capital of Guam, the lovely Hagåtña.


Thanks in VERY large part to Always Aroused Girl, who, in turn, was helped very much by Artful Dodger, DZER's Diatribe now is much more DZERiffic!!

Check out the little DZER next to the post titles! Heh!

Gonna mess around with it more after work (only home for "lunch") so the DZER head faces the other way.

Thanks again, Always Aroused Girl!! I *heart* you!!

the birthday party ...

I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon at my godsons' (they are twins) birthday party — ask Chrissie, because she knows it kept me away from playing Diablo II with her all afternoon ... LOL.

The hit of the party for all of the kids — and many of the adults as well — was the giant-ass inflatable waterslide that was rented for the occasion:

Is that a monster contraption or what? LOL ... And no, DZER did not go on the ride. DZER knows much better than that!! LOL

And, of course, what would a Guam party — for children or otherwise — be without food? Well, it wouldn't be a party. Duh! LOL Even though it's JUST for kids, that doesn't mean JUST kid food. This is normally the part of the post where I tell you all that was served. Instead, I will let the image speak for itself. LOL ... click to open in a new window for more detail.

Now this was just the MAIN table with the main course food, so to speak. And damn it was all good. We had a few items catered by a restaurant — the lumpia, chicken and pancit, I think — so getting prepared for the party would be a little bit easier, and different members of the family took on different dishes, so the boys' parents weren't stuck doing the majority of the work, which is often the case with these kinds of parties.

Of course there were desserts. The two birthday cakes, naturally. A special ice cream that had bits of chocolate, toffee and espresso beans mixed in. Ice cream cups with fudge on the sides, plain ice cream for the finicky kids. Babinka, a Philippine rice cake dessert that looks like cornbread but tastes much different (good though!). Two desserts courtesy of the new in-laws, who runs a hotel here, which meant top-flight desserts from their best pastry chef — a strawberry shortcake and cheesecake. Cotton candy in these clear plastic cups (big cups). Candied popcorn. A "pizza" tart with some kind of cream cheese base, topped with tons of fruit toppings (strawberry, kiwi, etc.).

There ended up being no balloons, for one reason or another. And it did rain for a good part of the afternoon, but we had a big canopy up, so those who didn't want to get wet — those not on the waterslide — didn't get wet.

Here's me and one of the godsons (the golfer) after a long day of party and the presents being opened. Whew!

The boys loved their presents from their Nino (that's DZER, for those of you not paying attention LOL). "A" can't wait to go play golf in his golf shoes. And "J" was already trying to read one of the Grimm fairy tales while the original version of "King Kong" played on the TV in the background.

So ... that's all done and over with.

Now ... just one week ... seven days ... till I have to worry about DZER's birthday. Ugh. I'm going to be THIRTY-FUCKING-SEVEN. Gadzoinks!!

DZEROTICA now has a new look, thanks to my lovely and VERY talented co-erotica blogger, Chrissie. Let me/us know what you think! Also, check out Chrissie's very first contribution to DZEROTICA, the first of many, I'm sure (Yay!).

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The staging point for the atomic bombing of Japan was Tinian, an island in the Marianas, north of Guam. But the pilots, crew, planes and other equipment came through Guam before heading there and, ultimately, to Japan.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

CCL ... and stripperati maximus ...

Just wanted to get that outta the way. Of course, the number of posts doesn't include DZEROTICA or DZER's Guam PIcs. If those were factored in, the total would be 341 ... but who marks their 341st post? LOL

And now for something completely stripperish

♥ Time spent at Club Crazy Horse in Tumon: 1.75 hours.

♥ Number of strippers who took the stage in that time frame: Six.

♥ Number of strippers who sat down with me: Two, at two different points.

♥ Number of drinks bought for Yvette: Two, for a total of $40. She's my favorite. Great pole work, lots of attitude and confidence. Fun and not overly focused on the money. No, seriously. LOL ... oh ... and VERY affectionate. She likes me ... she really, REALLY likes me! heh.

♥ Number of beers I consumed: Two.

♥ Number of times I was bitten: Twice. Only one time that hurt though.

♥ Time spent getting my neck kissed and sucked: About 5 minutes.

♥ Stolen kisses: Two.

♥ Number of titties I touched: Five ... and no, there wasn't a mutant, three-titted stripper or a one-tittied stripper ... one girl was just a little stingy ... LOL

♥ Number of tongues slipped between my lips: One.

♥ Number of tongues slipped into my ear: One.

♥ Phone numbers received from strippers: One. Heh.

♥ Number of strippers who asked me if I was going to jack off thinking about them when I got home: Two.

off for more research ...

Well, it's just past midnight, going from Saturday into Sunday, and no one is around online. My ICQ and Yahoo IM are desolated and deserted.

So ... I'm going to head out to Kmart to get some household sundries ... and then will drive down the hill to Club Crazy Horse to visit Hunter, the exotic dancer I based the girl in "The Dancer" on. She's actually a sweetie, and very affectionate ... when cash is placed in front of her, anyway. LOL

See you folks a little later ... and hope this makes up for the lack of personal DZERness yesterday ... (*winks at grainne*) ... LOL

Random Guam Stripper Fact Of The Day:
• $20 goes a long way in a strip club. Two beers ($10) and 10 chances to touch nekkid strippers. I can't think of a better way to blow $20, unless ... well ... that's a subject for a later post. heh.