Saturday, July 29, 2006

another saturday night ...

Another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I’ve got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I’m in an awful way

I got in town a month ago
I’ve seen a lot of girls since then
If I could meet ’em I could get ’em
But as yet I haven’t met ’em
That’s why I’m in the shape I’m in

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I’ve got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I’m in an awful way

Now another fella told me
He had a sister who looked just fine
Instead of being my deliverance
She had a strange resemblance
To a cat name frankenstein

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I’ve got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
I’m in an awful way

Yeah, another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I’ve got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I’m in an awful way

It’s hard on a fella
When he don’t know his way around
If I don’t find me a honey
To help me spend this money
I’m headin’ back to key west town

Oh, another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I’ve got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I’m in an awful way

Just another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I’ve got some money cause I just got paid
How I wish I had some chick to talk to
I’m in an awful way


sorry folks ... got home around 8, played online poker till after 11 ... did some work and chatted with My Favorite Person till she had to leave for work ... finished up my work ... then played online poker till ... 5:45 a.m. ... time for bed now ... should have something real and substantial here later today ... lol

Thursday, July 27, 2006

why you should leave strippers to us professionals ...

SOUTH PLAINFIELD, N.J. (AP) -- An exotic dancer who kept a collection of human body parts in her home skipped a court appearance Wednesday and was being sought by police in what was only the latest bizarre twist involving occupants of the house.

Linda Kay, 31, faces charges of illegally possessing human remains and failing to show up for court.

Her roommate, Sean McDonough, faces charges that he held guns and knives to the head and stomach of a former roommate, threatening to gut her.

Andrea Leipow, who said she lived with pair about two months, termed Kay and McDonough "lunatics."

"It's kind of a cult-like environment," the 25-year-old Leipow said. "I do not know what word to use to describe it."

On April 28, McDonough held her down on the floor for more than five hours, pointing a knife to neck and an unloaded shotgun at her head, eventually pulling the trigger, according to court documents.

At one point, he threatened to sever her jugular vein and held a 6-inch switchblade to her neck and to her stomach, musing that perhaps "he should cut her open," according to court documents.

He is awaiting trial in state Superior Court on those charges, which include making terroristic threats and weapons offenses. There was no answer at the house he shares with Kay on Wednesday.

Kay was charged last week after someone called police and reported that McDonough was suicidal and threatening to kill himself with a hammer. When police arrived, he was not there, but Kay was home. Officers who looked around the house found six human skulls and a severed human hand preserved in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom.

Friends said she called the hand "Freddy."

Police were looking for the Goth woman who dances at the Hott 22 nude bar in Union under the stage name "Zilla."

"I told the judge I was trying to locate her," attorney Donald DeGioia said Wednesday. "She looks forward to her day in court."

He said he did not know why Kay had skipped Wednesday's court date. As a result, municipal court judge John Leonard revoked Kay's $100,000 bail, issued an arrest warrant for failure to appear, and set a new $100,000 bail on the new charge.

"We'll actively look for her," said Police Chief John Ferraro. "She'll be placed under arrest and brought to police headquarters."

Leipow, Kay's former roommate, said the hand was a gift from a medical student who liked her dancing. Kay's mother told The Star-Ledger of Newark she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

"We're currently trying to determine who the skulls and hand belong to," Ferraro said. The body parts were taken to the Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office for examination and forensic testing.

Ferraro said police had been called to the house with the overgrown front yard weeds and a gargoyle-garded door several times before on noise violations and other complaints.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

cheesy hawaiian-print shirt ...

The early HNT from Guam ... click on images for bigger pics.

Me in the new black Hawaiian-print shirt ...

A detail shot of the pattern ...

To find out more about Half-Nekkid Thursday,
check out the link, baby:

questions answered ...

The last couple of blog posts have resulted in some questions that I thought I would address, to satiate the curious minds out there.

"But DZER, how did you know he was a transvestite hooker if he wasn't in his work clothes?"
Well, kiddos, Guam is a small place, and my village, Anigua, is an even smaller place. The person in question is a neighbor, who lives in a nearby apartment building and plies his/her trade at a skanky strip club across the main road. I know this because have previously seen him in her workclothes -- if you stop by the gas station near the strip club on your way home from a late night of poker, you often see these operators, who solicit very drunk people, often members of the Armed Forces, coming out of the club.

So THAT's how I knew. Happy? LOL

"DZER, what is a pica pole?"

This is a pica pole. It's a tool of the newspaper trade -- or at least it used to be before we went almost entirely digital. A pica is a unit of measuring; newspaper column widths are measured in picas. The usual formats are: 9-pica, 11-pica, and 14-pica columns. It also measures inches, as newspaper column lenghts are measured in inches. Being a metal ruler, they also are used by editors to lay out newspaper pages on paper dummies, resulting in nice, crisp, straight lines.

And Mimi, I'm sorry to report to you that it does NOT vibrate. LOL

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

the DZER 5's ...

Because I was tagged by both My Favorite Person and TequilaGirl … and maybe others I don’t know of … LOL … I present my lists of 5.

5 Things always in my purse/briefcase/backpack/golf bag:
1. Odyssey 2-Ball putter
2. Nitro golf balls
3. Velocitees golf tees
4. Cabretta golf glove
5. Ball markers

5 Things always in my wallet:
1. Cash
2. ATM/debit card
3. Business cards
4. Driver’s license
5. Driving range card

5 Things always in my refrigerator:
1. Assam black tea
2. Cheese
3. Sammich condiments
4. Arm & Hammer baking soda
5. Bottle of white wine

5 Things (at least) always in my closet:
1. Shirts
2. Jackets
3. Hangers
4. Ties
5. shoes

5 Things always in my car:
1. 1-1/2 ton floor jack
2. Toolbox with tools
3. Pneumatic tire wrench
4. Pens and notebooks
5. Various baseball caps

5 (or more) Things always on my desk: (at work)
1. My G5 tower
2. AP Stylebook
3. Pens and pencils
4. Pica pole
5. Brian Urlacher action figures

5 People to tag
1. Any five people on my sidebar who haven’t done this yet.

Monday, July 24, 2006

strange days indeed ...

Things you don't see every day, but which I saw today:

• Hunchback old woman.

• Transvestite hooker out bushcutting his/her front lawn in her non-working clothes.

• A tow truck ... being towed ... by a tow truck.

• A woman kissing a woman goodbye at the elevator ... and not two ugly women either ... LOL

• The sunrise ... OK, things I don't see every day; in fact, hardly ever!

• A man walking a three-legged dog.

• Someone pay for their lunch entirely with change.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

milestones ...

Some notable notes from the world of DZERLAND, for you three or four weekend readers.

• This is post No. 500. That's a lot, considering that I haven't been posting as often as I usually do, of late, thanks to online poker.

• A little earlier this month, I went over 40,000 visitors, at least according to my counter. That's almost as high as the number of people Madonna has slept with so far ... but she's in a monogamous relationship (one would imagine) so I have a shot to pass her!

• This month also marked a full year of blogging for me ... well, under this version of the Diatribe. I actually started in April or May, sometime around then, but ended up deleting the entire thing a couple months after that. As one can tell (one that isn't mindless, that is), I started up again a little while later.

And now back to the usual mundanity
Golf with S and the godsons was great, as always. Turns out it was a good thing that the only tee time S could get was 7:15 a.m. -- it started to rain on the 17th hole and we finished up in a light drizzle, which was followed by a day of persistent rainfall.

I played OK tee to green, but wasn't very consistent with my putting, which is why I only ended up with three pars on the day. But only one double and two triples too -- all the rest were bogeys. I ended up shooting 47-45 for a 92. Two birdie putts, one of 50 feet and one of 8 feet, died just short of the hole. Three par putts of less than 5 feet either lipped out or skirted the edge.

For some reason, I can't ever get all aspects of my game working. Last week, tee to green pretty much sucked, but I putted very well to make up for it. This week, it was the other way around.

One day, I'm gonna put it all together for a good part of a round and shoot super-low ... well, for me.

Rest of the Sunday was spent in my usual manner:

• Nap ... had to, thanks to My Favorite Person keeping me up past 3 a.m. ... not that I minded one bit. Any time spent with her is my favorite time. :) ... dozed for about 2 hours in the later afternoon. Wish it could have been longer, but then I'd never get to sleep tonight.

• Online poker. Hell-o? Have you read this blog this week? LOL

• Made myself some fried SPAM sammiches for dinner. I will SO write a detailed SPAM post this week, after seeing the wonderful canned luncheon meat besmirched and belittled on a few other blogs. Yes, that means yours, JMai!! LOL

• Watched "Blazing Saddles," as planned. Now just waiting for final round of British Open to start.