Friday, August 18, 2006

some goodbye golf with good friends ...

Saturday morning is rapidly approaching (it's about 11 p.m. as I type this), which means that I'm not going to get enough sleep.

I still have to write the bulk of two editorials — and of course I'm wasting time typing this post — before I go to bed. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a big thing. Saturdays are days that I can allow myself to sleep in a bit and laze around before heading into work in the afternoon.

But in about 7 hours, I have to wake up and 45 minutes after that, at the most, I will be picked up by S for an early tee time (7:45) and the Country Club of the Pacific down in Talofofo. S and I will be playing with co-worker C, and we're all treating a former co-worker, J, to a round of golf and lunch. J left the newspaper to start his own restaurant; this is a good luck and goodbye gift.

I've known J for about 18 years now. We met at the University of Guam; both of us majoring in communications and having a lot of the same classes.

Me and J and a few others, circa 1989. J is second
from left; of course that's me on the right.
And yes, I'm aware of how tragic the pants are. LOL

Over the years, we spent a lot of time partying, playing cards, golf and all kinds of other things. He got me my start at the newspaper; he was a part-time sports reporter while we were in school and encouraged me to do some freelance writing for the Sports section. We also were the top two editors of the university's newspaper for several semesters.

J and I drifted away from each other for a bit, but reconnected when both of us went back to the newspaper from other jobs about 6 years ago.

Any way ... that's enough blathering for now ... gotta put the nose to the grindstone and hammer out these edits so I can get SOME sleep.

Talofofo, one of Guam's southern villages, is known as "God's Country." Basically, that means a lot of wilderness and technically being in "the sticks." Heh.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

the very late hnt from guam ...


I forgot.


Now it's already Friday here. For those few of you who actually enjoy the early HNT from Guam (internal polling shows 13.3 percent of readers), my vast and multiple apologies.

For the rest of you, sorry, but I'm about to post the late HNT from Guam.

Possible titles:

The Lone DZER.

Zorro Needs to Drop 100 pounds.

Super Deeze Waits for His Costume to Get Out of the Wash.

Any caption you want to provide? Feel free.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

DZER nitty gritty truths ...

Time to man up and admit some less than manly truths:

• I can't drive a stick shift. Both of my parents were in a car crash in the late 1960's and broke their legs. As a result, it was impossible for them to drive a vehicle with a standard transmission — they simply weren't able to use the clutch. So, they had to buy cars with automatic transmissions, and kept buying them over the years. When it came time to teach us how to drive, they taught us on the family vehicles, which were automatic transmissions. When I was 18, I tried to get a friend to teach me how to drive a stick shift and I didn't automatically (get it? heh!) pick it up, and they quickly got frustrated with my gear grinding and gave up. And so, till this day, I only drive cars and trucks with automatic transmission.

• I don't have a hairy chest. Or hairy balls. Heck, it takes me more than week to get a light mustache going; I can go a few days without shaving before I even start to appear "scruffy." It comes from my Chamorro lineage; my dad wasn't a very hirsute man — he could grow a good mustache and beard, but he didn't have the hairy arms, chest and back thing going. Me and my brother James both took after him in this regard. My youngest brother, aka The Missouri Savage, however, is a throwback to the Neolithic era. He's a hairy beast and has had the ability to grow interesting bearts and mustaches since his teen years ... though he is losing it on top. I don't have that problem, though I do keep my head shaved — I do it by choice, he does it by necessity.

• I haven't banged a bunch of chicks in my time. I haven't had sex with "more than my share" or women. I don't have a long and sordid list of "conquests" or one-night stands. No black book here. No comparisons to Wilt Chamberlain. Unless you count phone sex -- which we all know doesn't count ...

• I don't particularly like the taste of beer. Oh, I've had probably more than my share, especially during high school and college, but even though I have been known to consume copious amounts of brew, I've never really liked the taste. I just drank it because that's what we all drank, in the main -- it's what was available. I do enjoy a good, cold beer now and then, but I can't and don't drink much more than one or two at any given time anymore. Truth be told, there are many kinds of alcohol that I don't like drinking. Even the smell of tequila makes me want to throw up, actually (VERY long story!). In fact, the only kind of booze that I actually like drinking is vodka.

• I'm not good with cars in a mechanical way. I know the basics, but if I pop the hood to see what's wrong with my engine, I'm pretty much limited to checking the battery, oil level, radiator coolant, windshield wiper fluid level ... and that's about it. I can and do change my own tires; no calling my insurance company's free roadside assistance for simple shit like that. But beyond the basics, I'm way outta my depth.

• I can do basic sewing and stitching. This is thanks to my mom's teaching at a very young age (I wanted to be able to make clothes for my G.I. Joe with the kung fu grip). I can put my own buttons back on my shirts, thank you very much.

Now, all that being said, I:

• Don't get manicures or pedicures. I did get a facial once, but freaked out in the middle because they put stuff on my eyeballs and left me alone in a dark room ... don't get me started on eyeball issues!

• Enjoy the hell out of strippers.

• Prefer small little mom-and-pop bars, almost dives, more than those fancy martini places or dance clubs and the like.

• Know how to use a large variety of hand tools and power tools, thanks to my dad. I can contribute to building and fixing things. I have helped demolish houses, build decks and shelving units, as well as doghouses, repaired furniture. I can hold my own when it comes to being hands-on with any kind of tool.

• Know how to use knives, from a small penknife or pocketknife up to a machete, and other sharp implements like axes and hatchets, again thanks to Pop. I've helped clear land, blaze trails in the jungle and cut wood.

• Am not averse to manual labor, even heavy and hard manual labor. I chose early on in life to pursue an office career of some kind so I wouldn't HAVE to do manual labor the rest of my life as a living, but I CAN do it.

• Can drive a tractor. Or, at least, I could when I was like 12. I actually haven't had any real opportunities to drive tractors since I came back to Guam, but my Uncle Tony, God rest his soul, taught me when I was young on his sprawling farm in Missouri. I learned other farm-related chores too — how to milk cow, how to bale and stack hay, use a pitchfork, etc.

• Love to fish. I can bait a hook, set a leader, fix a bobber and cast. I can take fish off hooks with no problem. If I do move, that's one of the things I'm looking forward to most ... freshwater fishing at lakes, ponds, rivers and streams. Most likely, it will be all catch and release though, as I really don't like eating fish.

And there you go ... a little bit about DZER that you never really knew you needed to know till now.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

an assorted medley of DZER's day ...

Something that always totally unnerves me: I'm driving in one direction; a cop car approaches from the opposite direction. We pass each other. I look in the driver's side mirror to see brake lights, the cop car move into the center lane, then take a U-turn in my direction.

Unsettling. Even if I'm not speeding or doing something else wrong. Especially if you see the lights blaze to life. Always a relief when the patrol vehicle speeds by, responding to some call.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

A grand total of zero offers on the Palauan wine, aged under the cool, calm waters of the Pacific Ocean.

Guess my readership is more of a shot-and-beer crowd. LOL

The bottle of Merlot, therefore, is going to My Favorite Person, who said she'd top any bid. Since the top bid was zero, I'll make her pay a pretty penny for the wine. No, seriously, a penny; shiny and pretty. I'll expect that soon, lady!! LOL

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

OK, so the next item that I'm putting up for "bid" is this adorable little DzMonster. He's shades of blue and green and is roughly 12 inches tall, from butt to the top of his little deely-bopper antennae. Besides just being cute, and of course, owned by DZER, he actually serves a rather practical purpose.

Yes, he is utile as well as fun for the eyes (and little kids and chew-happy pets, I'm sure). You see, his tummy unzips to reveal little sleeves in which you can insert your DVDs or CDs. There are 12-double sided disc sleeves, which means you can fit 24 of your favorite moview or albums safe inside his belly.

Do I have any offers? Anyone? Bueller ... Bueller ... Bueller ...

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

I'm sorry folks, but I think "The Rock" is cool. Maybe because his first name is Duane.


Was just watching "The Rundown" on FX ... what a badass! LOL

Oh ... and Christopher Walken is just plain freaky!

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

An application has been submitted. Keep your fingers crossed.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Things accomplished early this morning, as I fell asleep last night while watching TV, from about 8 p.m. to almost 2 a.m.:

• Rest of laundry finally sorted, ironed (what needed to be), folded and put away.

• Next two big duffel bags of laundry filled and placed into living room, ready to be done in next day or two.

• Bed adjusted, cleaned off, pillows fluffed.

• Cheese omelet made. Eaten.

• More assorted trash thrown out, collected into big garbage bag, put by door to take out on way to work. And I actually took it out.

• Items on little side tray table adjacent to desk cleared, sorted, replaced.

• Action items added to white board on my desk.

• Golf clubs cleaned. New golf balls added. Old, dirty and damaged golf balls placed into big bucket that's almost over-brimming with golf balls.

• DVDs sorted, put into new DVD case. Old boxes/containers/packaging discarded.

• Toilet bowl clean. Now sparkling.

• Items cleared off two plastic shelving unites. Shelves cleaned, ready for eventual sale.

My Favorite Person talked to during her lunch break. :)

• ESPN programs that I don't normally watch because they're on so early — Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption) — watched.

• Cleaning of bedroom contemplated. Tabled till later.

• Back to sleep at 8 a.m., back awake at 10 a.m.

• Shower, dress for work.

Productive, no?

Interesting, no? No, I didn't think so either ... and yet I shared! LOL

Hey, hey mama, said I gotta move ...

It's really difficult when you look around your apartment (or house) at all of the stuff you've accumulated in your life and try to figure out how much of it you actually need. I don't mean "need" as in the theoretical "can get by without" — hell, there's a ton of stuff I have that I don't really need to live or can't get by without or don't use for long periods of time.

I mean stuff as in, if I had to pack up everything tomorrow, how much of the stuff would I actually have to take? How much of it would I want to take?

Now I'm not talking about packing up stuff to move across town. If that were the case, it would be much easier. I'm not even talking about moving a few states away, in which case you could rent a U-Haul and still take a majority of your stuff.

I'm talking about moving to the other side of the world, to a new continent. Anything you take will have to be sent by ship or by air, and you'll have to pay for it. By the box, by the crate, by the pound ... it's all the same.

So, right off the bat, I'm going to eliminate furntiture. No shelves, no desks, no tables, no chairs, no dressers, no entertainment centers. Also no major appliances — no televisions, no fridge, no air conditioner. I won't need my fan, microwave or toaster oven. How many picture frames do I need/want to bring? No point in keeping all the candle holders I have, even the neat ones, huh? I also have tons of plastic storage containers. I will pack some of my stuff in these things, then pack them in the boxes, I guess, but that leaves a ton of them that won't go and thus need to be sold.

How many of the knickknacks and bric-a-brac? Do I keep the sentimental ones? The ones I like and think are cool? I've got tons of little art objects — nothing fancy or expensive, just a lot of little things.

All of the kitchen/pantry/food items won't go. Like I'm going to ship pepper? Likewise the vast majority of my pots, pans, silverware, servingware, cooking items, measuring cups, plates, bowls, etc. There are some of these items that I've had forever that I will keep for sentimental reason, but those are few.

MY COMIC BOOKS. Ouch. I was a collector for many years and have thousands of comics. It will be particularly hard to get rid of these. One weekend, very soon, I basically need to take a whole day to go through every single one of them and get them properly sorted, re-bagged, evaluated for condition and priced. I'm going to try to sell them by lot instead of by individual issue. So if you're a big X-Men or New Mutants or Conan the King fan, let me know if you want a series of them (some multiple issues) for a pretty decent price.

Same goes for any comic collectibles I have. I think most of these will go to my godsons, if they want them. I have a ton of Wolverine figures, cards, etc. Oh man, this is gonna HURT!

So what will go, for sure?

• My computer and assorted CD's with programs and files saved. The printer/scanner/copier ... being sold.

• My golf clubs. But only my new ones. That means my old irons and other assorted clubs — woods, trouble woods, irons — and my old bag (which still is pretty new) get sold off or given away.

• Clothing. I'll be taking most of this — some with me on the plane, the majority of it shipped off in boxes. But I will whittle things down. Most of the "wear around the house" clothing will be either tossed out or given to a thrift store (there have to be poor/homeless fat people out there right). This includes shoes — only going to keep a few pairs of sneakers, my good dress shoes, my nice work shoes. The rest goes ... including probably half of my stock of socks.

• Some assorted desk stuff, things I've had forever — a few coffee mugs, scissors, pens and stuff. But, again, most of it will be gone.

• Some photo frames, nice boxes, vases and assorted decorater items. Again, most of it will have to go. I think since I have so many little things, this will be the hardest to winnow down. *sigh*

• DVDs. I bought a new DVD case, so at least I can get rid of all the boxes and packaging. Pretty much taking all of the movies I have on DVD. Anything I have left on VHS will have to go.

OK, I've decided that the people of Guam will not be the only ones with a shot at my junk. That's right, fellow bloggers, you too now have the opportunity to acquire some priceless DZER assorted crap! LOL

At least once a week, I will feature at least one item. All I'm really looking to do is cover shipping costs. If you live in the United States, that means it probably won't be all that much. If you live outside the country, it likely will cost a bit more. Think of it as donating to THE FUND. I have a PayPal account, so that's how I'm going to handle any transactions. Everything will go out Priority Mail.

Yeah, I know I probably should do this over eBay. Maybe I'll get around to creating an account soon, but until then, ya'll have first dibs on any of my junk.

The first item available is a bottle of wine. Oh, but not just any bottle of my, my fine feckled (and, in some cases, freckled) friends. No, this bottle of merlot comes from the Republic of Palau, a nation of atolls located in the Western Pacific. The island is famed for its clear blue waters and is a top SCUBA destination. This is Rock Island Wine is made "from the freshest ingredients and purest rainwater," according to the label. What makes it special is that the wine is aged deep in the cool ocean waters of Palau. Why dig a cellar when you have the Pacific Ocean, after all?

You can E-mail the DZER with your offer and your mailing address. I will, in turn, write you back with the information regarding PayPal details.

Monday, August 14, 2006

breaking 90 and other stuff ...

Despite the fact that it rained almost constantly from Thursday through Saturday, and well into the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, when I got up the weather was much better. There was no rain, although it was super overcast and looked like it would/could rain at the drop of a hat. Nevertheless, I headed to the golf course to meet S and A ... J, I think, has decided that golf isn't for him and is a bit too boring.

I love how much A loves the game and looks forward to playing last week. We couldn't go out last week because of the threatening tropical storm, so he was extra antsy all this week. Every day he woke up, he asked his dad if he was playing golf. This Sunday morning, the kid who is almost impossible to get out of bed in the early hours was awake at 6 a.m., even though he knew they weren't going to leave the house until 10 a.m. How cute is that?

We really did get very lucky in that it didn't rain at all. There were some isolated drops now and then, but never even enough to call it a drizzle.

The front nine was super sloppy with mud and water; no carts on the fairways. Despite all the nastiness, and three early double bogeys, I managed three late pars to close out the front nine and just 9 over, for a 45. It should have been much higher, but I holed out four putts from 8 to 10 feet. S struggled with the conditions, shooting 55.

The back nine was in much better condition, and both of us played well (for us). S parred three of the first five holes, and I only had two double bogeys, both of them the result of lipped-out bogey putts. I also missed two birdie putts by less than an inch each, andn tallied three total pars. Even with a bad last hole, I managed to shoot 44 on the back for an 89. Anytime I can shoot under 90 is a brilliant day, so I was very happy.

S actually outplayed me on the back, scoring a 43 to stay under 100.

A had a good time, even though he continually tried to tiptoe around the mud. I've never seen a boy that age who was so concerned about mud. If that had been me at that age, it's likely I would have hydroplaned across muddy wet fairways a time or three. LOL ... A also played really well; he's starting to get pretty consistent. It used to be that he'd have to swing several times on each tee because he'd miss a bunch of times, but now he pretty much smacks it on the first shot. He's also learning to adjust his stance and aim on his tee shots, and his putting was really solid this time out. He had four or five putts lip out from 5-8 feet, and sank a few of them. He's also learning the little courtesies on the green, pulling the pin when he's closest, holding the flag when he's done, stuff like that. He's also picking up the lingo too.

• I always forget that even when the sun's not shining and it's cloudy and overcast, the UV rays still come through, so I'm a little bit sunburned on my arms, face and head, since I went with just a ballcap this time. When will I learn?

• After lazing around most of the afternoon (I did get a few small chores done, including getting the trash out to the garbage can for pickup Monday morning), I went into the office for a few hours to catch up on a bunch of administrative stuff, so I'm all up to date come this morning (Yep, it's Monday here already).

• This week, I plan to take some time to go check out a few different new car models. Not looking to buy right away, but will probably have to in the near future, so I want to check cars and trucks out, mostly for headroom, legroom and assroom — the three really important features in a vehicle for me. Oh, and price. Hoping to find something cheap, reliable, gas-efficient and roomy ... not the easiest combination of features to find in a vehicle.

• I need a to-do list. So much to do, hopefully in so short of time. I bought a little white board, that's now mounted to the cubby door on the hutch over my desk. Let's see if I actually use it. LOL

• One of the main industries on Guam before World War II was the production of copra.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

the 2-by-4 meme ...

Today’s meme comes courtesy of terry, who did it whilst drunk. LOL … thanks for the tag, my San Franscisan treat! ;)

2 moments in your life you'd like to erase:
• Finding my dad’s body at his ranch … and then having to find my brothers and sister to tell them.

• Any of the many times I’ve been in a conversation that’s started off, “I love you, BUT …”

4 moments you'd like to relive:
• Being crowned king in a total surprise announcement at my high school prom. It’s good to be king.

• This one crazy, amazing and near-unbelievable night at Blue Collar strip club.

• The first phone call I made to My Favorite Person.

• A moment yet to come, in the very near future. Keep your collective fingers crossed.

2 places you wouldn't want go to/go to again:
• The hospital.

• Any funeral home.

4 places you can't wait to visit/visit again:
• California

• Sedalia, Missouri

• Indiana

• Las Vegas, at the final table of a future World Series of Poker main event.

2 foods you can't stand:
• Beans of any kind, excepting jelly

• Sashimi

4 foods you love:
• My mom’s home cooking.

• Chinese

• Italian

• Bacon cheeseburgers.

2 current songs that make you change the station:
• Most current rap songs.

• “Taps.” Well, it’s not played on the radio, but man the sound of that bugle just rips me apart inside every single time.

4 current songs you play over and over:
Let me preface this by saying that I almost never listen to the radio, or to much music, period, anymore.

• “I’m Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves. Is there anyone that doesn’t get perked up by listening to this?

• “Black Dog” by Led Zeppelin … Hey, hey momma said the way you move!

• “One Headlight” by the Wallflowers

• “All I Want for Christmas” as sung by the little girl in “Love Actually.” Whenever I watch that DVD, I replay that scene several times.

2 books you'd never finish/read again:
• Anything by any Bronte sister.

• Anything by any Russian author, especially Dostoevsky and Tolstoy.

4 books you have read more than once, and/or will read again:
• The “In Death” series by J.D. Robb.

• The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

• Anything by David Gemmel.

• Anything by L.E. Modesitt about the world of Recluce.

Now I need to tag 2-4 people:

My Favorite Minx




... and anyone else who feels like doing it.

• Guam has had only three tsunamis causing damage at more than one location — in 1849, 1892 and in 1993, but only one death has been documented, and that back in 1892. Generally, because of our coral reefs, we are protected from tsunamis, and they only occur on the eastern side of the island.