Vegetarians — just eat vegetables, dammit!

Here's something I've never understood: Why make a huge lifestyle change, such as becoming vegetarian, and then eat veggie-burgers and other fake meat products for the majority of the time?

If you want your vegetables to taste like hamburgers, or barbecue ribs, or whatever ... too fucking bad! Eat your tofu squares, but don't make them look and taste like hotdogs.

When you give up meat, you give up the taste of meat too. Period.

Put a carrot on a hotdog bun. Heap tomatoes and eggplants on a hamburger bun.

But fucking give up the ghost, for christ's sake.

Oh, and the phrases "I'm a vegetarian, but I eat fish," and "I'm a vegetarian but I have chicken now and the" mean that you're a pretentious, lying, non-vegetarian.

Don't even get me started on the Vegans ...