meme if you want to ...

OK ... weekend traffic is slow. I get that.

Here's a little meme stolen from Will's Trailer of Love. Feel free to re-steal it from me.

* -- wasn't on original list of questions, added by DZER.

1.The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Hah! This is a trick question ... the phone almost NEVER rings!

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Don't they pay someone to do that?

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Sorry, what were you saying?

4. Do you take compliments well?
I guess I would have to get compliments to be able to discern if I take them well.

5. Are you an active person?
Mentally or physically?

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive?
For a little while ... till the bears eat me.

7. Do you like to ride horses?
Think I'd need a Clydesdale to support my weight ... and they don't have them here in Guam.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Went camping, but not to any camps.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
I was a great hider in hide-n-seek. Freeze tag was fun too. But I was a dodgeball and kickball GOD!!

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married would you?
That's a mighty big if ... but fuck, yes!! ... if the person were a woman. No if he was a man.

11. Are you judgmental?
No ... and whoever came up with this question is a simpering fool and complete idiot.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I can't date anyone, period, apparently.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
By jackals? The paparazzi? Police? A crazed mob? It's all about the situation.

14. Use three words to describe yourself:
Tall. FAT. Asshole.

15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
Can't chat or play computer games if I'm blind ... and I don't like listening to most people, so I'll go with deaf.

16. Are you continuing your education?
He who ceases to learn becomes president of the United States.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Umm ... take the safety off and pull the trigger?

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you tried to save?
My own life?

19. How often do you read books?
Often and voraciously.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
They all suck, so it doesn't matter.

21. What is your favorite children's book?
"Where the Wild Things Are" ... or "Dick and Jane."

22. Have you kissed any of your MySpace friends?
I'm too fat and ugly to be allowed on MySpace ... I'm gonna check out ItSpace.

23. How tall are you?
A little over 6'4" ... but in most shoes/boots, I'm about 6'6"

24. Where is your ideal house located?
In my mind.

25. Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies?
Commando.

26. Last person you talked to?
On the phone? In person? In either case, some idiot at work.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Sure.

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
I think I've only been once, an it was back in the early 90s.

29. What are your keys on your key chain for?
Truck, house, post office box.

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
From the office to the tax agency to finally pay off my 2005 taxes.

31. Where is your current pain at?
With the state of my life.

32. Do you like mustard?
Yes; all kinds.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
I'd rather be sleeping.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Neither ... except I have the George Family Nose.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
To do what, exactly? Usually no more than 8.25 minutes.

36. Can you do a split?
Only banana.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
"The Departed."

38. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
I have neither, but if I did, why the fuck would I?

39. What did you do for New Year's?
Day? Went to brunch. Eve? Sat home alone, unkissed, for like the billionth time.

40. Do you think "The Grudge" was scary?
A little eerie, but not scary, per se.

41. What was the cause of your last accident?
Karma.

*42. How much money do you have on you right now?
$6.25

43. What are you drinking?
King Car Lemon Tea (49 fl. oz.)

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Nope, but she made the uniforms for the cheerleaders.

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
"L"

46. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
I don't watch that shit, let alone spend money to vote for one of the wannabes.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Never enough.

48. Do you like Carebears?
Is there a Fuck-You Bear?

49. What do you buy at the movies?
A ticket to get in.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
All-in, bitch.

51. Do you wear your seat belt?
Sometimes.

52. What do you wear to sleep?
Shorts or sweats.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
Sure. What, you want details?

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
Usually two, with snack now and then.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
Nope.

56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
Seriously, who are these MySpace people?

*57. What's you favorite NFL team?
Da Bears!

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Funny.

59. Ever been to Vegas?
Only have driven past it.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
No, Cookie Monster ate them all.

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Chada i namu! Puta i namo! Merde! Chevato!

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
I don't download music.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
There are people who do?

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
We don't fight.

*65. Is anyone mad at or irritated with you right now?
Probably several, if not many.

*66. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? (apologies to those who don't celebrate Christmas)
Both.

*67. What's your favorite preparation for eggs?
Scrambled, dry.

68. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
NFL lineman ... or pro wrassler.

69. Are you easy to get along with?
Apparently not.

70. What is your favorite time of day?
Night.

71. Who was your best girlfriend/boyfriend?
Sooooooooo many to choose from. Guess it'd be no one.

72. Who do you hate?
Most living people ... and most dead people.

73. Would ever date your first love again?
Like I have the option?

74. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
DZER: Undated since 1997.

75. Current mood?
Fuck off.

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