Wednesday, March 15, 2006

a late night caller to DZER's apartment ...

The DZER loves having company at night. C'mon ... who doesn't?

The DZER's place is kinda in crappy condition right now — DZER has a lot of cleaning up and rearranging to do, mostly because he's a lazy fuck, so normally the DZER doesn't have too many people over, let alone late-night callers.

Tonight was different.

The DZER came home from a fun night out with some friends. The DZER's outside light was non-functional, which was a bitch. The bulb is fried and must be replaced.

The DZER came in, put down his keys and stuff, grabbed a drink from the fridge and started toward his bedroom when the DZER noticed a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye.

There she was. Long and slender and lean. Big, gleaming eyes. Nice mixture of brown and golden.

So lovely but ... so cold. It was like she was ready to strike out at the DZER.

Yep, one of Guam's infamous brown tree snakes (Boiga irregularis) had someway made its way into the DZER's apartment.

Despite the reputation that Guam is overrun by the brown tree snake, this is the first one I've personally seen in the wild for years and years — and the last one was at the house of one of my friends who lives near some deep jungle.

The brown tree snake, which is both nocturnal and arboreal, does have a nasty reputation, and deservedly so. Because of this invasive species, believed to have come to Guam aboard military or supply ships from Indonesia or the South Pacific, the island's native bird population was decimated. Nine of 12 species were made extinct. A couple others are endangered. It also has killed off half of the native lizard population.

The little bugger is currently sitting in a plastic tub out in my living room. My landlord has a cage up at his house in northern Guam, and I think he has a snake he caught a while back in it. Now he will have a pair, at least.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• The brown tree snake is a constrictor, but it does have a mildly venomous bite, though it has to gnaw through the skin to impart the venom. The snake can grow to 10 feet in length, with some longer specimens having been reported.


Chrissie said...

Ugh I'm not sure which is worse... the icky snake wandering around your apt or you refering to yourself as The DZER over n over again! *L*

I'll say it again i'm happy I wasnt there!

DZER said...

just wanted to see if someone would call me on it ... went WAY overboard with it this time ... LOL

hmm ... what would make you happy to be here? ;)

terry said...

did the dzer scream like a little girl, upon seeing the big, bad snake??

DZER said...

terry: nope ... the DZER calmly went to the kitchen, got a plastic container, came back to the snake, picked it up behind the head, and placed it into the container. then I poked some holes into the lid.

I'm half native, darlin' ... I don't bug out easily LOL

Madame X said...


First the creepy-ass eye thing and now a SNAKE!!!!!!

Why did it have to be snakes?

You need to WARN PEOPLE!!!!

DZER said...

madame x: hmmm ... maybe you should flag my blog to blogger? LOL for eyeballs and freaky snakes and such?


Hubris said...

What a gift! It would be said that if the snake wandered into my place, "Oh man, did you ever pick the wrong fucking house." I'd keep it! What a beautiful creature.

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

Until today, I had half a mind to pack up all my belongings and my kids and come shack up with you.

But you have snakes.

Noooo thank you.

(You do know I'm just kidding, right? I'll be on the 3pm flight.)

grainne said...

WOO HOO....The crocodile hunter has nothing on you !! That is SO COOL !! I would have loved to have seen her..she really looks pretty with the gold eyes. Brown tree snake sounds so horridly drab and boring!

You know me...I don't mind snakes and creepy crawlies at all..thankfully or I never could live here in Fl! However I will admit to crawling up on the hood of the car when the big (over 6ft) alligator from the pond at the end of my street decided to sun himself in my driveway. I needed to go to work, he wouldn't move when I started the car so I thought poking him with a broom might make him go home...nope, just meant I sat on the roof and the hood of my car in the hot sun for an hour.

Glad to hear you didn't scream like a girl or call someone to come and get it for you. You would have really destroyed my image of you!

SignGurl said...

How in the world did it get in? That's weird!

When I was growing up we adopted a 9 1/2 foot boa constricter. Her name was Squeak. I just found some pictures of my stepbrother with his python. I'll have to post them.

What are you feeding him?

terry said...

damn. i was so hoping for a high-pitched girlie scream.

Chrissie said...

Hmmm well my JOB isnt there so that part would make me VERY happy!... ummm the surf and sand would make me happy... the strippers would make me happy... the many may drinks I would have would make me happy...

oh yeah and you. lol *smooch*

That thing makes the lil gopher snake I caught look like nothin lol

Shay said...

It's kinda cute, but i don't like that it might bite (with it's mild venom).

You're so sweet to be saving it Dzer, I'm sure a lot of people would have killed it. (personally I would have thrown it out the door - sent it back home)

DZER said...

hedonist: LOL ... if you hurry, you can come over and claim him.

AAG: nice try, but we both know that there's no 3 p.m. flight!! (I'll pick you up at the airport at 6 a.m.)

grainne: not like it was a rattler or ... hmm ... fricking 6-foot gator! LOL

signgurl: I have these slotted windows — one in the bathroom, one in the kitchen — and I leave them cracked a bit to circulate air. And not feeding him/her/it ... just gonna give it away. LOL

terry: aww ... so sorry to disappoint LOL

chrissie: yay, yay, yay, yay ... and SUPER YAY!! Awww ... I should have stayed awake when I woke up the first time this morning, seeing as you were in such a happy and mushy mood, mushpot ... *smooches* ... LOL

shay: LOL ... cute and snake usually don't go together ... and I would have loved to have seen you wrangle with the snake ;)

Chrissie said...

*rme* lol

kathi said...

Wow, how cool is that? I love snakes, especially ones that aren't deadly, lol. But really, very cool~

DZER said...

chrissie: :P

kathi: it was pretty neat ... I did have to deal with rattlers a few time in Texas ... pretty different story there LOL

Strumpet said...

God, I love snakes.

They're damn sexy creatures.

All that slithering...and they got that whole tongue thing goin' on...

I am so jealous of your late night caller.

I want to find snakes in my apartment.

Sometimes, I find a spider.

That's kind of coolish.

But, not as cool as a snake.

DZER said...

strumpet: what kinda snake are you hoping to find? perhaps the dreaded trouser snake? heh

spiders and geckos are my usual visitors ... snake was definitely unexpected ;)

Suze said...

Dzer, I would much rather have been confronted by a one eyed trouser snake. LOL. I couldn't resist that one. ;)

DZER said...

suze: I bet you're an expert handler of the one-eyed trouser snake ... heh ... you can make them dance to the music, I bet ... ;)

DH Spicy said...

Nice one!

Glad it didn't creep up during Steak and BJ... That would certainly leave a lot of things hanging!

Nice little adventure!