Thursday, February 02, 2006

yes, I do want fries with that ...

God, how I love hamburgers. In all of their wonderful, varied ways.

If I had to choose one meal that I would have to eat over and over again for the rest of my life, I’m pretty sure it would be burger, French fries and a Coke (or Pepsi ... or root beer ... most dark-colored sodas will do). Hmm … or maybe a milkshake. There have been times where I’ve eaten burgers for lunch and dinner for days on end — mostly during my broke-off-my-ass college days.

Burger, fries and shake — is there a meal that’s more American? You think there’s a meal that IS more American? Screw you! You’re wrong! LOL

I like fast-food burgers. At McDonald’s I’ll usually get the double QPC with cheese. Sometimes, when I’m broke, I’ll just stock up on the $1 double cheeseburgers. In fact, my dinner tonight was a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, fries and a strawberry shake.

Burger King is usually my favorite fast-food burgers. I love the Whoppers. Again, I usually have the Double Whopper … though there’s a Triple Whopper out now that is outstanding! Heh.

The only Carl’s Jr. on Guam recently closed, so I can’t get anymore Western Stars. Fuck. I hate Wendy’s square burgers, in all their variations. There’s something about the consistency of the meat that reminds me of worms for some reason. I think I got a touch of food poisoning there once, and ever since then I can’t stand their meat patties. Which is a shame, because you can order melted cheese as a side order, which is perfect for dunking fries or pouring onto burgers. Heh.

What we don’t have here:

• Hardee’s. Yep, no Monster Thickburgers for me. *sigh*

• Jack In The Box. Dammit. I love the burgers at Jack’s. Fuck.

• In and Out. White Castle. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

• Ruby Tuesday’s. I’ve seen the commercials and really want to try them out. Too bad the closest one to me is Hawaii. Shit!

When I was growing up, the burgers at A&W Restaurants really rocked. I think part of it was ordering up a chilled mug of root beer to go along with it. Haven’t had one since I last went to Hawaii in 2001.

I remember on the way home from a true “away” football game — when I played for the Abilene (Texas) City Champion Mann Jr. High Falcons … which we lost (fuck San Angelo! Bastards!) — our stop-off point for dinner was some restaurant that served up GIANT burgers. I’m telling you, they covered the dinner plate. Served with a basket of fries. The linemen had no trouble finishing theirs; not so the quarterbacks and other prissy players … LOL. Not only were they huge, but they were GOOD. Or maybe we were just super-hungry from an afternoon of football in the dust and sun of West Texas. I remember I had several glasses (giant glasses, of course!) of iced tea to down the meal.

I can’t remember ever eating a fast-food burger until I was in my adolescence. My parents didn’t take us to fast-food places. We almost never ate out; only when we were between duty stations. And even then we went to “real” restaurants.

But my dad could cook the hell out of a good burger. He would mix in finely chopped onions most of the time. He also experimented with different spices and herbs on a regular basis, sometimes mixing in dried soup mix or something like that to add a bit of different flavoring. The best was when he would mix in the right amount of finely minced boonie peppers — mondo-hot chiles! Loved those super-spicy burgers. Mmmmmm …

The closest I’d had were at the military base bowling alleys (almost always make killer bacon cheeseburgers) and the snack shacks, aka “Scarf-n-Barf.” Seriously though, I’ve never had a bad burger in a bowling alley.

When it comes down to it, it’s pretty hard to fuck up a burger. If it’s a little too well done, it’s still not too bad. If it’s a mite bit too rare, still pretty damn good. I actually prefer a nice medium rare patty or patties in my burgers.

I don’t really have a favorite combination of ingredients on my burgers. I actually like to mix it up now and then for variety. But a pretty good basic burger is: Two regular beef patties or one nice and thick beef patty; cheese (American, Swiss, provolone … well, almost any cheese); onions; ripe tomatoes; bacon (extra crispy); yellow mustard; mayonnaise. Sometimes pickles are a good addition, or mushrooms. Sometimes just a plain, hot-off-the-grill burger with just cheese on a bun is perfection.

Tune in tomorrow … I’ve got more burger stories to tell! Hard to believe, isn’t it? LOL

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• At one point, the McDonald’s in Tamuning, Guam, was the world’s largest, based on square footage. The Harmon restaurant is one of the few in the world that is a two-story McDonald’s.


Madame X said...

There was a time in my life when I was a veggie-tarian. Why? Who knows?! I was going through my Quasi-Hindu-livinginanAshram-Days.

When I got pregnant I NEEDED to eat red, the craving was so strong I would go to the meat sections of grocery stores and just stare.

Finally I broke down and had a Roy Rogers Bacon Cheese Burger.
From that day forth at least one of my 6 meals(yes I had six meals a day when I was preggers)was a Roy Rogers Bacon cheese burger...with large fries and a Diet Coke (didn't want to gain too much weight)

FYI I was 175 lbs when I gave birth to a 7 lbs baby!

DAYUMN! The stretch marks!

DZER said...

gigi: there's a fast-food name I hadn't heard in forever ... Roy Roger's ... flashback!!! LOL

kathi said...

Can't remember the last time I ate a hamburger, around 10 years old, probably. Nasty stuff...sorry dzer. Love ya though.

DZER said...

kathi: red meat is good for you ... especially when it's ground up and grilled ... WONDERFUL stuff!! Heh

but I love ya even though you're anti-burgerite!! LOL

murphy said...

hell every once in a while I'll see a Hardee's and am amazed that they still exist!

What rocked about Hardee's was when they'd give away free actual glasses with Yosemite Sam on them!

grainne said...

You have to go to !! Don't go to the states....go to the globe with the little pins!! DO IT NOW!!!

Look at the photo gallery !! Your picture is up with your Jack balls !! ~snuggle and a smooch~ See, being a big old pain in the ass to Jack in the Box paid off ! We have sexy Dzer with his hat and Jack in the Box balls up for the world to see!!

See you post about burgers and I check to see if Guam's #1 ham is getting free advertising on Jack's page and WALLA...there you are !! Love me just a little now?? ~snorts and laughs~

grainne said...

Oh and glad I left the cellphone at home or I would be waking your ass up instead of posting in your comments ~gleeful giggles~

sassinak said...

i miss burgers but i am no longer willing to eat industrial ground beef. scares me silly.

i'll eat it only if i watch the butcher grind it ... then it's sorta safe...

god i love mcdonalds fries though.

Steppin' On Toes said...

Oh yummmy. Tommy's another fave of mine. That and Fatburger. Yumm.

SignGurl said...

Ya had me until you said that Wendy's burgers remind you of worms. Ewwww....that WAS my favorite fast food place. I guess I'll still eat the fries. The Frostys are oh so heavenly.

We had a place here called Kewpee's that made the best burger ever. They just closed after 75 years in the business. I think there is still one downtown. I guess I need to check that out.

SignGurl said...

OMG! That is so cool that you are an international star on the Jack In The Box web site!

terry said...

i would die without in n out burger, for those road trips... or those late night drives home after concerts at a venue about an hour south of me...

DAMN it, i'm HUNGRY again!

One of the Girls said...

Love me some burgers. Dieting. No burgers for me but the pictures let me vicariously dream of eating them. YUM!

DZER said...

murphy: I need me a monster thickburger! and yosemite sam rocks the tantrum! LOL

grainne: wooohoo!! "We" made it! LOL I never would have been in there without you. *huge smooches* ... and you wouldn't have woken me up ... LOL

sass: that's because you canadians don't take good enough care of your beef and they get quite "mad" ... get some USDA choice or prime ... heh

jax: remember Cool Spot? They made a great burger!

jenn: sorry darlin' ... I just can't stand that place anymore for burgers ... I'll eat their fries dunked in melted cheese though! ... and thanks; grainne had me enter my pic LOL

terry: grab a burger ... and get me one while you're there!! LOL

one of the girls: I think you can have ONE burger ... go ahead ... maybe I'll have one for lunch for you LOL

ell said...

d - i'm not a fan of red meat, but i DO love a big, fat, juicy burger. nothing like it! yum...

DZER said...

ell: you tease! getting me all turned on right before my lunch hour ... ;)

ell said...

my pleasure d. anything for you.


DZER said...

ell: ANYTHING? heh ...

Shay said...

I like Burger King's grilled chicken whopper - but they don't have them in Canada, if i want one I have to order a "grilled chicken sandwhich" it's such bullshit.