Thursday, May 18, 2006

a contrasted, contrary DZER

I look evil in this one, don't I? Heh.

It's impossible to describe anyone in a nutshell.

(This is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?"

LOVE that movie!! anytime I hear the word "nutshell," I picture that scene.)

Anyway, back to my point: People are complex creatures. You can't sum up one person in a word or three. In fact most people are, in fact, studies in contrasts. Those that aren't are very ... boring. Plain. Monotonous.

Take the DZER (please!!), for example.

• I look like a large white man. There's not much about me that says I'm of mixed race. Nobody off this island would assume I'm anything but Caucasian. Most here don't see it either. Even my last name doesn't betray my racial heritage. But I'm half-Chamorro. The only part of me that looks like my dad or any of my other Chamorro relatives is my nose, and only then in it's shape. It's the George family nose. Some Chamorros see it, some don't. Some know there's a small Chamorro George family (familian Bana Cruz), other's don't. I'm far from fluent in the language, and the way I was brought up is more reflective on my father's 27 years of service to the military than my cultural background. And yet I identify more with my Chamorro side than my haole side.

• I am a smart man. Very smart, if you believe some people (like me ... heh). In fact, a genius. But that doesn't mean I don't do and say stupid things ... because I do. Too often. Especially with women. But aren't all men?

• I have strong anal-retentive qualities — most editors do, especially copy editors. I like things to be orderly, and it disturbs me when they're not. I like to make lists — of things to do, things to buy, gifts to give. And it gives me inordinate pleasure to check things off, especially when an item completes all the "to do's." I'm also something of a lazy slob. I let the dishes pile up and then do them all at once. Same with laundry. I'm famous for "last pants day," which means the day I'm wearing the last clean pair of pants I own and MUST do laundry, usually 4-6 loads. I guess I rationalize it by convincing myself that I'm being "efficient." Heh.

• I'm a pessimistic realist. I know that bad things happen. I know that things won't always work out the way I want them to and, in fact, usually won't or don't. I don't have a lot of faith in people, society or the world in general. Yet I'm also a cluelessly hopeless romantic. Even though I'm fairly certain I won't find love, and that the woman I yearn for won't feel the same degree of feelings for me that I do for her, I always seem to latch onto a glimmer of unrealistic hope. This is a "not good." Fucking Bleah™.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• There is no such thing as a "pure" Chamorro anymore, thanks in large part to the eradication of the Chamorros by the Spanish, via war, conquest and their introduced European diseases. Other racial backgrounds mixed in with Chamorro blood include, but aren't limited to, and many in various combinations/degrees, are: Spanish; Mexican; Filipino; Chinese; Japanese; Caucasian; other Micronesian islands; Carolinian; other Asian countries.

23 comments:

Natalia said...

First comment snoopydance...and evil but yet so cute! :)

-N

DZER said...

natalia: so you find evil to be cute? LOL

Shay said...

You do look evil!!
eep! I feel like I just got caught doing something I shouldn't have ^_~ hehe

I love making lists too, esp checking things off on the list!

Hun, wheres your HNT?

DZER said...

shay: My HNT is always a day earlier ... because I'm a day ahead of you LOL

and what naughty thing did I catch you doing? ;)

Hubris said...

I dig the pic.

Don't stop being a hopeless romantic Dzer. Some really do love that and if you're lucky, they'll love it from you.

I say this because I too am hopeless...

Vixxxen said...

That image is rather spooky :) I think I perfer the one you use for your icon with the pretty blue eyes. I would say don't ever give up on romance and I hope that one day you find someone that will love you and that you will love them in return.

~Vix

Natalia said...

Dzer...in you I do, darling...it's a good thing :)

-N

Everything Nice said...

Hopeless. What a lonely lonely word D.... Thank you for the insight and also the extra wonderful picture....

Are those 'crispies' still in your refrigerator?!?!? GIMME!

Uhh, politeness and manners dictate that I ask you whether or which exam I need to take to re-issue my Dzerette status.

*giggle* I hope it's oral.

JMai said...

I love that photoshopping! (or whatever it is that you do). That looks so cool! I'm lucky I can hold the camera straight.

Mixed race people make the world go round.

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

The notepaper effect! That works so well there, D!

kathi said...

Those dang I.Q. tests, they've got to stop making those things so accessible to the general public. :)

DZER said...

hubris: is there any other kind of romantic other than hopeless?

vixxxen: will I haunt your dreams? ;) ... and hopeless romantics never give up on romance, even when they know they should.

natalia: then I shall try to capitalize and exploit my evil cuteness!! bwa-ha-ha!

EN: Thanks darlin' ... and they're all gone! As for DZERette status, all you have to do is post the button and link on your page ... detailed instructions by clicking the link on my sidebar :)

jmai: oh, I have some skills, darlin' ;)

AAG: I've found it works better on detail shots like large profile pics :) ... thanks!

kathi: I've been designated as a genius since age 12 ... and continue to validate my brillaince! :P

DZER said...

even when I misspell brilliance!! doh!

Chrissie said...

LOL @ you in a nutshell... dork.
mimic

the pic is weird... its the eyebrows i think...

DZER said...

chrissie: you love my dorkiness!

and yeah ... it makes it look like my eyebrows are giant and dark and freaky LOL

Grace said...

I can't figure out how you made the pic look that way? It's pretty frickin' cool if you ask me!

DZER said...

grace: I used magic! *wriggles fingers atcha* .. heh

and thanks :)

Kristen said...

Wiggle your fingers at me!!!!!

The nutshell movie? Austin Powers?

DZER said...

kristen: *wiggle-wiggle*

and yes ;)

terry said...

i swear, everytime i hear or see the word nutshell, i think of that very scene...!

and discovering those contrasts in people is half the fun of getting to know them.

DZER said...

terry: that's you, me and chrissie so far! LOL

Suze said...

Dzer, you are an all round nice guy and I can't understand why you are still single. But I am rather biased. :)

DZER said...

suze: probably because I'm an all-around nice guy? LOL