Saturday, May 20, 2006

I've finally figured out ...

... how to boost the number of comments in my section.

No, I'm not getting THE surgery to become a hot chick. First, that's extreme. Second, I would end up being a tall, fat, ugly chick. So that won't work.

No, I'm not going to pay money to get my Web site listed on all the search engines, as those e-mails from spammers offer.

No, I'm not going to change my keywords to "hot, naked, women, coed, tits, nipple slip, gangbang" or anything like that.

I think I just might go MIA for a week. Apparently, if you just kind of disappear unexpectedly and don't post for a week or so, your site traffic jumps by leaps and bounds and the comment box rocks.

Soo ...

DZER KIDNAPPED!!
Blogger's takers release no demands

GUAM — Noted (and almost famed) blogger DZER disappeared from the blogosphere recently and officials' concerns that foul play was involved were confirmed with the release of the above photo.

No ransom note was included with the photo.

More details as the story develops.

12 comments:

Everything Nice said...

LMAO! D if that really works... Let me know honey..

Im totally doing it!

err.. I wont throw away ANY block buster statements!!!!!

ill be a Dzerette in about 5 mins!!!

terry said...

i'm also sitting here laughing my ass off, picturing you taping your own face and eyes...

omiGOD. dzer, that's too funny.

you know what i discovered last week? put the word "orgasm" in a post that has absolutely nothing to do with sex, and your traffic will quadruple anyway. THAT's funny.

besides.. are we not good enough for you?? i feel slighted. ;)

Grace said...

Ooooh, I can only imagine how painful it must have been when you tore that tape off your eyebrows. Ouch!

So are you really disappearing for a week? That's not cool... where am I supposed to get my Dzer fix from now? Sigh... it's gonna be another rough one.

Vixxxen said...

*stares* That isn't funny at all. OMG I don't know if I could handle a week without anything to read from Dzer. *pouts and then goes looking for a gun to start searching*

~Vix

Chrissie said...

LMAO... dumbass

Snow White said...

Say it ain't so! A week without DZER would be like a week without sunshine... without diet cherry coke/pepsi... without, um, DZER! DZERettes, we may need to storm Guam, stealthly in the dark of night...

ArtfulDodger said...

Never fear D man, me and the boys are already mobilizing our forces and assembling the strike team, I called Face, Mister T and the whole A-Team, plus McGyver, Jack, Magnum PI (Who is already on the scene, duh, he lives in Hawaii!) and the rest. Haven't heard from everyone yet, but Robin promised we could have the corporate jet. As soon as Ethan Hunt calls we're on our way. So hang in there dude and don't say anything, especially about the "you know what" we hid in one of your shelving units under the sammich!

RANDOM GUAM FACT: There is no place on Guam to hide Dzer!

DH Spicy said...

I just alerted CNN -
I don't think you have to disapear for a week. This picture ought to do it!

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

Honey, ow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are going to lose your eyebrows!

Note to self: comment here every day, or next thing you know, Dzer will duct tape his wee-wee.

:D

Suze said...

Dzer, come back.

You know that duck tape will hurt when you rip those eyebrows off. Ouch!

Madame X said...

Bwuahahahahahaha!!!!!

You are an ass!
But I love ya!!


OK top 10 reasons why D felt he had to fake his own kidnapping....

DZER said...

EN: Will do darlin' ... and cool! :)

terry: glad I could bring you some joy ... and I'll make a note to increase the use of "orgasm" here ;)

grace: I made sure the mailing tape wasn't on too hard ... heh. and, as you can tell, my kidnappers released me!

vixxxen: I'm sure you'd have found some way to occupy your time ;)

chrissie: not "dork?" LOL

snow white: I think that's the first time anyone who's compared me to sunshine LOL

art: belay that! abort mission ... I repeat: Abort mission! LOL

dh spicy: Not BNN ... Blogger News Network? LOL

AAG: never fear ... DZER's famous eyebrows are intact! ;)

suze: I'm not silly enough to use duct tape!! Yowza that woulda hurt!!

madame x: Me? A cooly? You say the sweetest things! LOL