Friday, May 12, 2006

DZERized quotations ...

This is what happens when I get bored, folks — I think up utter inanities and post them on my blog. What the hell did I do before I found blogging? Heh.

What follows are the beginning of some very famous (to some) and familiar (to fewer) quotes from some very well-known (again, subject to individual knowledge) ... but finished by the DZER. I chose most of them from memory, though I admit I used a search engine to find a few more to add to the list. I apologize in advance for the spate of profanity that likely will follow. ;)

Enjoy them ... or don't. LOL

For a real challenge, see if you can figure out who said what (the parts that aren't me). And don't you go using those afore-mentioned search engines, you cheaters. Heh.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary" ... to try to drive the green or lay up, just fucking go for it.

"We have not yet begun" ... to find out how idiotic "reality" television can be.

"The only thing we have to fear" ... is being stuck in a crowded room with virulent diarrhea.

"I regret that I have but" ... so much money to stuff into strippers' panties.

"Ask not what your country can do for you" ... when it's being led by a fucking idiot

"You can fool all of the people some of the time" ... but that doesn't mean you should go "all in" on a stone-cold bluff.

"Speak softly and" ... there's a good chance most people won't hear you."

"The buck stops" ... when it gets shot through the heart by the hunter.


"I find that the harder I work" ... the more work is piled upon my shoulders.

"I have a dream" ... that involves Chrissie and a hot tub. It's a long, involved dream. Heh.

"We have art to save ourselves" ... when the cable and Internet are out.

"Blessed be the meek" ... for they allow those of us who aren't to make some money now and then.

"A clever man" ... sometimes gets punched squarely in the nose.

"Winning isn't" ... for losers.

"I never met a man" ...

"It's not the size of the dog" ... unless it's one of those fucking HUGE dogs!

"Hit 'em where they" ... will feel the most pain.

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
• Guam residents don't pay federal income tax, technically. We fill out the forms and turn them into our local Department of Revenue and Taxation, but all the money comes back to Guam — as does the taxes paid by military and federal employees.

9 comments:

Kristen said...

The cable and internet was great!!!

Morning

Madame X said...

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary" ...

Thomas Jefferson

"We have not yet begun" ...

"The only thing we have to fear" ...

FDR

"I regret that I have but" ...
Nathan Hale

"Ask not what your country can do for you" ...
JKF

"You can fool all of the people some of the time"
Franklin? Not Bonnie, Ben.

"Speak softly and"
Theodore Roosevelt?

"The buck stops"
Truman


"I find that the harder I work" ... the more work is piled upon my shoulders.

"I have a dream"

Martin Luther King Jr.

"We have art to save ourselves" ... when the cable and Internet are out.

"Blessed be the meek"

Jesus Christ


That's all I got!

murphy said...

k.. i'm not guess.. but i swear that "gets punched squarily in the nose" seems really fuckin familiar!

crscntmoon said...

you forgot "you can't please everyone.... but sometimes you can pleasure a few."

SignGurl said...

I snorted several times at these. My favorite DZERism is "The only thing we have to fear" ... is being stuck in a crowded room with virulent diarrhea. Ahahahahahahahah!!

JMai said...

I feel like the first 5 or 6 are ex-presidents.

Who did the drawing?

DZER said...

kristen: thanks, darlin' ...

madame x: you got some ... thanks for trying!!

murphy: maybe a relative of yours? LOL

crscntmoon: that's a good one ... :)

signgurl: I'm glad someone liked the virulent diarrhea line! ;)

jmai: there are a good number of presidential ones in there ... and it's a photoshop effect... cool, eh?

Chrissie said...

"Ask not what your country can do for you" ... when it's being led by a fucking idiot


LMAO I think I read this in Newsweek? Hmm

DZER said...

chrissie: are you sure? And here I thought I had coined a DZER original!

waitaminute!!! Newsweek wouldn't use the word "fucking!" LOL