Sunday, February 12, 2006

from the "are you shitting me" file ...

NEW YORK (Reuters) — The gym that brought New Yorkers "Cardio Striptease" has dreamed up "Stiletto Strength," a workout to get women in shape to wear the highest of heels.

At a recent lunch-time session at Crunch gym near Times Square, dancer Amber Efe demonstrated how to strut like a cat-walk model, pivoting on six-inch heels that would challenge even the most ardent follower of shoe king Manolo Blahnik.

"Imagine you're at the bar, raise one hand high like you're holding your drink," she told the class, music pounding as she acted the part of a club-goer working through a crowd.

"Don't spill the drink," she told the group, a mix of women who clearly had plenty of experience and others still tottering on shoes that didn't show much wear.

"Stiletto Strength" was launched in January in response to client griping about getting back into high heels for winter. They're businesswomen and they have to wear heels so they want to understand how to look better in them and feel confident," national fitness director Donna Cyrus said.

Participants wear running shoes for the first part of the class, which focuses on strengthening lower body and abdominal muscles and improving balance and posture. The heels come out for the last 15 minutes.

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Ladies ... c'mon ... seriously?

I don't think anyone here would take this kind of class (of course, I'm a man and therefore I could very well be wrong LOL), but it amazes me, frankly, that ANYONE would take this class.

What's next? Adjusting Back to Flats class? Tips and Tricks for Sneaker and Boot Wearing?

Why do they market these twists on exercise and fitness at women, and why do so many women jump on the bandwagon and enroll in these classes?

I'm just seeking some understanding here ... please, enlighten me.

OK ... I'm off to "Techniques for Getting in Free Gropes While Tipping Strippers" ... teaching it, of coure. ;)

Random Guam Fact Of The Day:
Guam is an unincorporated territory of the United States. We are part of the United States and yet not. The United Nations lists us as one of a handful of colonies remaining in the world — areas that are owned and yet not fully part of another country.


Suze said...

Dzer, I have no idea why any woman would attend these classes. I don't think I would attend unless there was a hunk helping you put your shoes on. ;)

I do believe that if you are going to walk around in bright red moon shoes all day you may need to strengthen your ankles though.

Also develope your neck for constantly looking down on people. LOL.

SignGurl said...

If you are a horse like me, you would need to learn how to walk on your own feet first and then work your way up to the stilettos. Believe me when I say the me in high heals is not a pretty sight.

Desireous said...

There are women who cannot walk in stilettos I have known some. Would the class help? Who knows but they might be interested in taking it.


terry said...

don't you think your exotic dancer friends needed a little training in dancing in the shoes they wear? ;)

that said, YIKES. stiletto workouts? no.

Southie said...

Really nice blog here, Dzer. Well done.

One of the Girls said...

ohhhhh noooo never never never would I do it...I'm a barefoot au naturale kind of girl and while those might work for some people I would not be one of those people. Let's spend the money on something a little more fun....or that might get ya thinking....*wink* No stilleto's for this girl!

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

I'd break my fool neck in shoes like that. No way, never, nope.

Nice try at provoking the girlie-girls, Dzer.

Natalia said...

I have been wearing high heels since I was 15. You don't need a class. You just need to wear them enough so your body gets used to it. And surely I could go on a speech about how women are sybjugated through body modification to please the male gaze, but I won't. I happen to like heels...for me, not for anyone else..not for the guys to watch. But I would take one of those "stripper" gym classes. Not because I want to be a stripper but because I heard the actual exercises are really good for elongating.


Madame X said...

D-Silly boy this isn't about women walking in heels this is about trying to get new members and staying on the cutting edge of the Fitness Business. Crunch fitness has made it's name with unusual fitness classes (in they're flagship club in NYC)They aslo have circus arts classes complete with trapeze,dodge ball classes, Hip Hop cow girl and my personal favorite NAPTIME...yeah they teach you how to nap.

Gotta go now, I've got to teach a Pre-Natal-Cardio-Belly-Dancing-Yoga-Kick boxing-Power Lifting class.

Oh So Wonderful said...

My kinda place. Would I join? Maybe just for the experience and interaction. Would I pay? Why? I KNOW how to dance in 4" heels with no problem. You just have to wear it long enough get the hang of it. Just like riding a bike!

AlwaysArousedGirl said...

You are very very late for a party, young man...

Shay said...

What they really should offer is classes on how to cope when you fall and shatter your ankle walking around in UBER high heels

DZER said...

suze: good points ... wanna try out my ankles and neck? heh

jenn: you had an HNT with super-high heels and it was HOT!!

desireous: can't their friends show them? LOL

terry: no practicing at home?

southie: thanks, man ... and welcome to the Diatribe!!

one of the girls: whatcha thinking of spending it on? share with us! LOL

AAG: I try darlin' ... and would love to see you in some high-high heels ... :)

natalia: need a spotter for the stripper classes? LOL

madame x: those insidious gym marketers!!

oh so wonderful: hmm ... show me? Heh.

AAG: I'm always late for parties ... wouldn't do to show up TOO early ... heh

shay: they do ... the Red Cross' first-aid classes ... LOL

Chrissie said...

As you know I LOVE being 6 ft 1 or 2 *L* I have several pairs of these shoes... and never needed a class. I was a cherokee girl in 7th and 8th grade... graduated to spike pumps in high school... those were 4 inches also so the move to platform stillettos was not a problem... 5-6 inches piece of cake :) So while i would not need a class I could maybe teach a class lol

DZER said...

I know you love being super tall ... heh

and see? you can pick up some extra money at the gym by teaching the fun classes!!

Desireous said...

Actually I have taught a friend how to walk in stilettos...


One of the Girls said...

Hmmm perhaps dinner and some fuzzy handcuffs! See...I told you I had a better idea! Now let's see who gets to wear them........