Tuesday, April 11, 2006

easter bunny caught, eaten ...

EAST SHITLICK, TEXAS (DZERLAND News Service) — There will be no colored Easter eggs hidden away for the kiddos to search for this year. No fancy baskets filled with treats such as jelly beans and chocolate bunnies.

Yesterday, shortly before dawn, Rufus Preston "Big Mackers" MacKenzie fired off his .22-caliber rifle and bagged what he thought was a garden pest, a critter than had been decimating the vegetable garden of his wife, Irma Louise "Momma Mackers" MacKenzie.

Instead, MacKenzie had shot — and killed — the Easter Bunny.

"It was somethin' that was a'eatin' Momma's prize-winning tomatoes and her newly planted baby carrots, and Momma was a'wailin' and a'whinin' about it, so I wokes up all early and instead of goin' to the fishin' hole with Old Earl, Young Earl and Ugly Earl-Bob, I set on my back porch there and just waited," MacKenzie said. "Shortly afore dawn, I seen me these big ears a'bobbin' near the cabbage and aimed and fired. One shot was all it took."

MacKenzie had Momma Mackers take the picture of him holding up the dead Easter Bunny, then quickly gutted the beast, chopped off its feet ("Fer keychains, don'tcha know," he said), then skinned the oversized rabbit. Momma Mackers made her special fried rabbit with mashed taters and country gravy. There was enough for both of them, Old Earl and Young Earl, and Parson Fergus Twiddles. They had boysenberry pie for dessert.

19 comments:

kathi said...

I hate you.

DZER said...

aww ... no you don't ... you LOVE me! hehehe

grainne said...

I am with Kathi on this one...I HATE you for that post....saw it on the news this morning and damn near cried! Bad Dzer....really really bad Dzer !

Alex said...

I can hear the sound of duelling banjos.

ArtfulDodger said...

Fried Rabbit and gravy, yum! That there is some good eatin'. Who gave the Easter Bunny the right ta jus go round eatin peoples hard grown food anyway? I say the critter got what was coming to 'em!

Chrissie said...

that is one BIG bunny!
i hear it tasted like chicken?

DZER said...

grainne: hmm ... you SAW it on the news? You get the DZERLAND News Service on TV, darlin'? LOL

alex: loud and clear, mate? LOL

art: you can't beat the taste! And hell yeah! damn vermin!

chrissie: that rascally rabbit was surely tasty as all get out! LOL ... and, personally, I LOVE the taste of fried rabbit ... mmmm ... heh

DH Spicy said...

Yummy, prepared in wine.
Hare pie anyone?

Chrissie said...

I've never had it... and really prolly never will. Having had a pet bunny I dont think I could eat one.

SignGurl said...

You know, if you check behind the man, you will see rabbits in cages. That there bunny appears to be alive and kickin' to me. You can't fool a farm girl. ;-)

DZER said...

dh spicy: haven't tried it that way ... but sounds tasty ... heh

chrissie: I haven't had it in a loooooong time ... but it's good!!

signgurl: whatchoo tawkin' 'bout, willis? LOL

Amy said...

(blink)(blink) - sob!

DZER said...

amy: sorry your visit to the Diatribe was so traumatic ... hope you come back by again :)

Shay said...

Awww poor widdle bunny

DZER said...

shay: widdle? what part of that wabbit is widdle? is fwicking weally, weally big! LOL

Jon said...

It's fwicking HUGE!

To bad it's duck season

DZER said...

it IS huge

and it's wabbit season!

Strumpet said...

This is probably the only time I will not leave your blog craving meat.

=P

DZER said...

strumpet: aww ... not even a taste? heh