Stolen from grace, who stole it from jon.
1. My roommate and I once: Haven’t had a roommate since first semester of college back in 1987.
2. Never in my life have I: Punched a priest.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: Now why would I tell you this? You're driving me nuts! *smile*
4. High school was: A time when all it took to get laid on a regular basis was to be a starter on the football team, have a car and access to booze.
5. When I’m nervous: I feel nervous. Weird, huh?
6. The last time I cried was: A lot longer than the last time I decried something.
7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: That’s a very big if … do they allow groomsmen in Vegas?
8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? Yes.
9. My hair: Is kept shaved.
10. When I was 5: I was recovering from spinal surgery.
11. Last Christmas: I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away.
12. When I turn my head left: I see what’s over to my left.
13. I should be: Much more famous and rich than I am.
14. When I look down I see: The tops of the heads of all you short people out there.
15. The craziest recent event was: China killing all them dogs! Oh, you meant in my personal life?
16. If I were a character on “Friends” I’d be: Some guy that Rachel rejects and is never on the show again.
17. By this time next year: I hope to be living elsewhere.
18. My favorite aunt is: Dead, unfortunately.
19. I have a hard time understanding: Women. Duh!
20. One time at a family gathering: I ate some food and talked to family members. What do you do at family gatherings?
21. You know I like you if: I pay for a second lapdance.
22. If I won an award, the first person (people) I’d thank: The people who so wisely knew that I was so very deserving of the award.
23. Take my advice: Never take advice from others.
24. My ideal breakfast is: Scrambled eggs, toast and coffee … at noon.
25. If you visit my home town: You will have been there more times than me since I was 2 years old.
26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: My Favorite Person.
27. If you spend the night at my house: Then let me know where my house is, because I rent an apartment and if I have a house, I would like to visit it.
28. I’d stop my wedding if: My mail-order bride didn't show up.
29. The world could do without: Bigotry and hypocrisy.
30. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Lick the anal cavity of a cockroach?
31. The most recent thing I’ve bought myself is: Two new shirts … in my brand new smaller size :)
32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: Lunch.
33. My favorite blonde is: My Favorite Person, when she was a blonde.
34. My favorite brunette is: My Favorite Person, when she was a brunette. I'm digging the burgundy-ish right now. ;)
35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: Warning — piece of shit; don’t stand too close.
36. The last time I was drunk: Was a long, long time ago.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: Blue whales. That would freak people the fuck out.
38. I shouldn’t have been: So carefree with my credit card spending when I was younger.
39. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? LMAO!
40. Last night I: Eventually went to sleep.
41. There’s this girl I know who: Is totally hot.
42: I don’t know: More than I do know. But, knowing that, I know more than you. But I knew that already. Didn't you?
43. A better name for me would be: Your Majesty.
44. If I ever go back to school I’ll: Be accepting an honorary doctorate.
45. How many days until my birthday?: Like I’m gonna count that out?
46. One dead celebrity I wish I’d met is: Humphrey Bogart.
47. I’ve lived at my current address since: Six years ago.
48. I’ve been told I look like: A very tall, white Buddha.
49. If I could have any car, it would be: A customized dream machine from Chip Foose.
50. If I got a new cat tomorrow, I would name it: Now why the hell would I buy a damn aloof cat?