Monday, August 07, 2006

Fitty DZERific questions answered ...

Stolen from grace, who stole it from jon.

1. My roommate and I once: Haven’t had a roommate since first semester of college back in 1987.

2. Never in my life have I: Punched a priest.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: Now why would I tell you this? You're driving me nuts! *smile*

4. High school was: A time when all it took to get laid on a regular basis was to be a starter on the football team, have a car and access to booze.

5. When I’m nervous: I feel nervous. Weird, huh?

6. The last time I cried was: A lot longer than the last time I decried something.

7. If I were to get married right now, my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: That’s a very big if … do they allow groomsmen in Vegas?

8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone e-mail your deepest secret to all your friends? Yes.

9. My hair: Is kept shaved.

10. When I was 5: I was recovering from spinal surgery.

11. Last Christmas: I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away.

12. When I turn my head left: I see what’s over to my left.

13. I should be: Much more famous and rich than I am.

14. When I look down I see: The tops of the heads of all you short people out there.

15. The craziest recent event was: China killing all them dogs! Oh, you meant in my personal life?

16. If I were a character on “Friends” I’d be: Some guy that Rachel rejects and is never on the show again.

17. By this time next year: I hope to be living elsewhere.

18. My favorite aunt is: Dead, unfortunately.

19. I have a hard time understanding: Women. Duh!

20. One time at a family gathering: I ate some food and talked to family members. What do you do at family gatherings?

21. You know I like you if: I pay for a second lapdance.

22. If I won an award, the first person (people) I’d thank: The people who so wisely knew that I was so very deserving of the award.

23. Take my advice: Never take advice from others.

24. My ideal breakfast is: Scrambled eggs, toast and coffee … at noon.

25. If you visit my home town: You will have been there more times than me since I was 2 years old.

26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: My Favorite Person.

27. If you spend the night at my house: Then let me know where my house is, because I rent an apartment and if I have a house, I would like to visit it.

28. I’d stop my wedding if: My mail-order bride didn't show up.

29. The world could do without: Bigotry and hypocrisy.

30. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Lick the anal cavity of a cockroach?

31. The most recent thing I’ve bought myself is: Two new shirts … in my brand new smaller size :)

32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: Lunch.

33. My favorite blonde is: My Favorite Person, when she was a blonde.

34. My favorite brunette is: My Favorite Person, when she was a brunette. I'm digging the burgundy-ish right now. ;)

35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: Warning — piece of shit; don’t stand too close.

36. The last time I was drunk: Was a long, long time ago.

37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: Blue whales. That would freak people the fuck out.

38. I shouldn’t have been: So carefree with my credit card spending when I was younger.

39. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? LMAO!

40. Last night I: Eventually went to sleep.

41. There’s this girl I know who: Is totally hot.

42: I don’t know: More than I do know. But, knowing that, I know more than you. But I knew that already. Didn't you?

43. A better name for me would be: Your Majesty.

44. If I ever go back to school I’ll: Be accepting an honorary doctorate.

45. How many days until my birthday?: Like I’m gonna count that out?

46. One dead celebrity I wish I’d met is: Humphrey Bogart.

47. I’ve lived at my current address since: Six years ago.

48. I’ve been told I look like: A very tall, white Buddha.

49. If I could have any car, it would be: A customized dream machine from Chip Foose.

50. If I got a new cat tomorrow, I would name it: Now why the hell would I buy a damn aloof cat?


ArtfulDodger said...

Great list Dman, although I am still freakin out thinking of all those huge Blue Whales flying around! Yeesh.

Jon said...

Very good list Your Majesty

Miss Understood said...

I thought it was about time I came over and said hello!
I did this list's still sitting in my computer somewhere. I read yours initially and thought you were amusingly vague. (That's a good thing by the way.)But in your vagueness, you probably gave more away than I did in my openess. Ok. That doesn't make any sense at all, does it? Nope! Advice. don't drink on Sunday afternoons. :)

terry said...

very funny, your majesty...!

for a second there, i thought you were serious about the christmas incident... and then the tune popped into my head.

and if you don't make it to my fine city when you visit your favorite person, i'm going to be so hurt. i'll take you both to karaoke!

Kristen said...

you're moving to Kentucky, aren't you?

Chrissie said...

I wonder how many people want to know the answer to #39 and are afraid to ask *L*

SignGurl said...

LMAO at never punching a priest! Your list was the most amusing thing I've read all day.

Sunny Delight said...

You are a very amusing man! And I agree with miss understood, in your vague way, you gave away a lot! The blue to me that vision would be truly truly amazingly wonderful!

Grace said...

Chrissie, I'll ask it: Deeze, what's the answer to 39?

Natalia said...

You know, I do love it when you post stuff about yourself, You do have a unique way of looking at the world. But I can relate...cynical yet a glint of hope.


Madame X said...

The first time I ran into was on Chrissie's blog and you were discussing the shaving of balls.
You told her NO WAY. remember Chrissie, right?

RobynB said...

You're moving to Kentucky?