Thursday, August 24, 2006

random fun and frivolity

After deciding, after all, not to blog about what I was planning to blog about, I was left with this question: What the hell do I blog about?

Well, here's what I came up with ... enjoy!

So, you read DZER's Diatribe daily but still just don't know enough about the DZER? Maybe you're just too lazy, or too busy, to go through the archives to find out all of the little nuggets and gems about the DZER that you so desperately want to know?

In any event, your troubles are now over. DZER Publications is proud to introduce the soon-to-be international bestseller ... The Great & Mighty DZER for Dummies!

That's right! Now, presented to you in an easy to read, simple to understand format comes the book that everyone needs and no DZERette can go without.

Send your check or money order for $19.95 (plus $6.95 shipping and handling) to:

123 DZER Plaza

BEIJING (Reuters) - Striptease send-offs at funerals may become a thing of the past in east China after five people were arrested for organizing the intimate farewells, state media reported on Wednesday.

Police swooped last week after two groups of strippers gave "obscene performances" at a farmer's funeral in Donghai County, Jiangsu province, Xinhua news agency said.
Just in case you're wondering, the is EXACTLY how I want to go out! Instead of "Amazing Grace" or other traditional funerary hymns, there will be a mix of stripper songs with several exotic dancers disrobing atop my rather large casket! In lieu of flowers, please bring dollar bills with which to tip the strippers. LOL

Fellow fans of the Colbert Report are well familiar with Stephen Colbert's penchant for putting people, things and bears "On Notice!"

Well, I contacted my good buddy Stephen (fellow journalists and all) and he put up my personal current "On Notice" list. Wasn't that nice of him?

Note: The DZER will accept no guff from Canadians. After all, you ARE "On Notice!"

Just off the southern coast of Guam is Cocos Island, a 100-acre mini-island. It's a popular site for those looking to get away from it all while still enjoying tropical waters and white-sand beaches. It is accessible by glass-bottom boats, which go to and from Cocos on a regular basis.


April said...

oh, yeah...stripper music at a funeral. That is the way to go! :)

Thanks for the shortcut version to gettin' to know the Dzer...for us lazy folk. Heh.

Happy Thursday!

RobynB said...

Seriously? They stripped at a funeral.

I know guys that would love that for theirs, too. They'd probably request dollar bills stuffed in their mouth for the strippers...hehe

Chrissie said...

am I the only one who wants to know what the first thing was that you were going to blog about?

DZER said...

april: isn't it though? and you're welcome!

robyn: hey, maybe it will catch on as a new trend? lol

chrissie: so far, you are the only one! ;)

ArtfulDodger said...

Seems like a lot of money for such a small book! :)

DZER said...

dodger: it's worth every penny my friend!

Kristen said...

Nope, she's not the only one........I want to know what the orignal post was going to be

DZER said...

well now ... that's a whole two of you!

keep hoping ;)

Pyrhonik said...

Is that 20 bucks American or Canadian? Actually, it doesn't really matter anymore, does it!

Hilarious post. Strippers at a funeral. Have you ever seen those poles that get mounted at remote locations for events like Sturgis. You could have one put at each end and they could do the swirl as you get lowered. I'm liking this idea way too much.


SignGurl said...

I'm with Chrissie and Kristen. We want to look into the mind of DZER.

DZER said...

Pyrhonik: American currency only please! And isn't it a fabulous idea?

Signgurl: Hmm ... that's 3 ... do I have to do a post about the post I was going to post? lol

The Savage said...

I grew up with you.. I know what I need to know and I also know that you won't tell us about the blog you were going to blog but blogged this blog instead....
So I need work with my alliterations but eh.. You are the brains of the family....

DZER said...

savage: are you saying you know that I know that you know that I won't post about the post that I almost posted about?

terry said...

mr. colbert can put me on notice... or do anything else he wants with me... any damn time!!